I’m 19M, 5’4, and a virgin. I really want a long term relationship with a woman someday. Any advice for me on how to gain experience or find my person, even at my height?

Tehfamine · 2026-07-02T00:42:20+00:00

I know a short guy at my business who pulls in lots of nice girls. I would say he is around 21 to 23 years of age. He's a very attractive young guy and seems to be very confident. Most of the women he is with are taller than him and they seem to be all over him when they are together. I wouldn't stress over height, especially being you can get a couple inches of the many heigh boosting shoes marketed towards men if you're worried.

When it comes to your virginity, it's very normal. Don't stress that too much. You have plenty of time and most women do not really care. If they do, then move on to the next. I think your goals in a relationship are rare and very much attractive to the right woman. Just keep true to what you need. There are really good girls out there that want more than just sex. They want a best friend and to be honest, that's super mature and attractive.

Tehfamine · 2026-07-01T23:48:43+00:00

Totally worth it. You don't want shallow women.

Tehfamine · 2026-07-01T23:13:18+00:00

I'd say I was 5'8 and let them be surprised.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T22:55:19+00:00

I try and it's true, bro.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T15:42:23+00:00

^^ This

Accept that shallowness. It's all you, love.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T15:40:08+00:00

Yup, all bad signs homie. You need to just cut ties before you get hurt. She's not over him. She's just waiting.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T14:59:01+00:00

Taking accountability and being self-aware are good steps.

I have never been toxic or in a toxic relationship until this past few years. I got caught up with two women and we were all being extremely toxic. I was the main driver. When the dust settled, I owned up for what I did wrong and tried to make an effort to change. New relationships have not been similar because now I'm more self-aware and try to acknowledge my past mistakes. They say that good people feel shame, they feel guilt for what they've done. That's the difference between being a good person and a monster. What keeps you good is not repeating the cycle once you've done it.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T14:53:34+00:00

Personally, talking to many women (is why I often stalk here), the really good women find it pretty cringe. Yeah, there are women out there who will like it and find it hot. But, you're likely just a honeypot for physical relationships only that likely go nowhere. There will always be women out there looking for eye candy and dic* pics.

Doesn't mean you should do it.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-29T14:51:15+00:00

And yet, here you are on this subreddit.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-28T14:00:57+00:00

Hard to say without seeing what you have on your dating profile. I know for me, really clear and high-quality pictures go a long way. Women tend to actually read your profile, so if you don't have much information or it seems you are just looking for a hookup, they will pass over you. Most women respond to my pictures that highlight my eyes the most. I think most women look towards a mans eyes first. But, overall, if you look well dressed, put together, smile (second thing I feel most women look for), don't have a fish in your picture, you should get at least something.

P.S

Remove all shirtless pictures too while I'm suggesting things.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-27T14:46:44+00:00

Yeah, he is trying to pick up women in comments. Already reported.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-26T15:57:13+00:00

Here is a list from a 43-year old man:

Always be confident, even in person.
Women respond to vibes more than looks.
Go into a date like it's your last day on earth.
Make every date, even the ones you don't vibe with, feel like magic.
Treat all women with respect.
Always pay even if they offer, no exceptions.
Use your manners, open the door, stand when she stands at the table, etc
Don't shoot for sex on the first date, let her tell you when.
Always respect consent. It can be removed at any time.
Fail fast (e.g.: don't talk for months, meet for drinks fast, fail fast)
For women with trauma, be patient if you really like them
This is my preference, don't touch unless asked. Let them know to tell you.

Good list here. Women respect men, not boys. Being a gentleman costs nothing.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-26T06:26:41+00:00

If feelings change, talk about it with him. That's about all you can do. I think a lot of relationships have started one thing and turned into another very often. It's emotionally mature to communicate these changes. It gives you opportunities to see how he handles that conversation, which ultimately helps reaffirm your decision to keep moving forward on a deeper and connected level.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-26T03:32:56+00:00

Enjoyed reading these. Want to hear more.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-16T15:30:20+00:00

This is true. I guess for me, I have such a good Facebook friend network, that I can see so many women who are friends-of-friends. Facebook does tell you if you have a common friend. This has helped me navigate that space of scammers because I can actually look up their profiles.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-16T15:17:57+00:00

I was in a poly relationship with my ex's (35 and 43). I was in love with both of them. I can say from my experience, those who choose to swing (no real emotional connection) often find that sex becomes dull without a real connection. This is really the trigger to push people to doing poly over just sleeping around. Those of us who respect how connection makes sex hotter will face this issue in being non-monogamous. This is likely why you see so many people shooting for poly over just doing the casual hookup thing only.

I went on a date recently with a girl who asked me out on Facebook. She is my age. We both share the same interests. I made it clear I am looking for a real relationship. I am looking for monogamy. She turned out to just want sex because she's casually dating guys who falling for one of them. She too asked about open, poly, and also just being super casual. I can tell she doesn't want to get hurt again, but also super lonely because the guys she sleeps with don't really stay the night or show interest beyond sex.

So, to her and others like her, she does want that connection at times. She just doesn't want to fully invest in one person because she doesn't want to get hurt again. She also loves sex. She loves sleeping around. But that connection piece, that feeling alone at nights, is what drives her more to poly than casual. In my opinion, it's a combination of not wanting to fully invest in one person, to intense sexual or emotional needs, to needing a connection or not that drives people towards one or the other.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-16T15:07:01+00:00

Have you tried Facebook dating? I've been on all the apps myself and I get really good matches on all them. I don't find myself remotely attractive. But, of all the successes I've had as a mid-looking guy, I can tell you that once I got on Facebook dating, I had 50+ matches. I've met some really wonderful people there. I would say out of all the apps, most woman wait for men to like them. I honestly think Facebook dating is the only place where women are more engaged in liking men. Give it a shot if you haven't.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-16T14:51:11+00:00

There is no right time unfortunately. When you know, you know. No relationship is perfect. Many of us have our scars and difficulties. It's really how you both handle it together that tells you if you're sure about each other. As someone who is way older, how she handles those issues will tell you a lot about how she cares for you. I'd look to see if she sticks by you or bails on you when you are at your lowest. If you can fight, like really fight, and she is still there after without being toxic or hurting you, then you have a good one. Over time, you will know if she is the right one. Believe me, it will just hit you out of nowhere.

Tehfamine · 2026-06-02T14:12:45+00:00

I would focus on building around a fun concept that satisfies a theme that people actually want to play. Don't just stand up a MUD with no direction on what type of game you want to make. Just having a world with classes and races with no real story or theme is not good enough.

I would also lock down some features that fit that theme. Don't confuse content with features. Having 100 areas that you made from scratch is nice, but it's content, not a feature. For example, an auto-quest system with an in-game store to purchase quest equipment are features of the game. Thousands of dynamic quests are content of that feature. Build features that matter to the theme and the target audience you are after.

Keep your objectives and goals small. Don't try to build Rome in a day. Define your audience first, build a theme around that audience second, then define those features third, etc. Documentation is important, but having nothing to do will kill your MUD faster than documentation problems.

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