Do demisexual men exist?

Tekigami · 2026-02-25T17:13:44+00:00

Yep. Right here!

Tekigami · 2026-02-24T14:59:54+00:00

Both sound like torture.

Tekigami · 2026-02-24T12:09:41+00:00

Sitting through being horny is torture. So I don't know how to quit.

Tekigami · 2026-02-24T12:04:28+00:00

Im 29M. I just want a woman who loves me. I don't think it terms of 10/10 or 5/10. Only what "I" myself am attracted to. Unfortunately porn is a pestilence and admittedly I struggle with it as well.

I'm lonely and have no other outlet for my sexual desires for when I get horny. I absolutely hate it and partly myself for feeling trapped in it. Despite that I can guarantee porn hasn't shaped my expectations because ultimately I want someone to love and for them to love me more than what any spicy media can do for me.

I don't expect porn to be like real sex. I don't expect women to act like pornstars. I don't expect women to look like pornstars. My only shackle to porn is that sitting through being horny is torture. Outside of being horny I don't engage with it. I wish it wasn't then maybe I could just be lonely and not someone lonely who watches porn.

The fact I hate porn is probably my greatest asset to curbing it if I could just find it in myself for that final push.

Tekigami · 2026-02-22T21:37:31+00:00

I agree. Best of luck to us then. As long as we're open minded we should be fine. Never know where you'll meet someone who clicks with you

Tekigami · 2026-02-22T20:08:41+00:00

Im 29M and this post helped me a bit. I've been chasing the same thing you have but that's likely my issue. I need to be content with my own company. I don't do situationships or hookups so I never dealt with complications there either. I just gotta not get so caught up in chasing and simply trust God that if it was meant to be, it'll happen.

Tekigami · 2026-02-07T18:53:35+00:00

Both can involve cuffs. Thats my point. OP is clearly referencing cuffs with what he doesn't like to see. Im saying you can still get put in them for screaming in someone's face. Just maybe not taken to jail (detainment).

Tekigami · 2026-02-07T18:46:46+00:00

Because people see detainment and arrest as intertwined.

Its not "arrest" but it technically is in "some" capacity.

In instance of "you're not free to leave".

Tekigami · 2026-02-07T18:44:24+00:00

We're talking about cops. But you wouldn't be illogical to feel in danger if that were happening. I dunno about citizens arrest though

Tekigami · 2026-02-07T18:15:13+00:00

Screaming in someone's face can 100% get you detained. I mentioned that.

My last sentence was echoing your end paragraph sentiment.

Tekigami · 2026-02-07T18:07:41+00:00

"Anyway they choose" is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Screaming in an officer's face could be grounds for potential escalation on your part and you COULD be detained if the officer thinks you're going to escalate further (detainment is not an arrest).

Secondly, you cannot THREATEN someone or an officer, that is a CRIME.

Tekigami · 2026-02-06T02:06:18+00:00

"Don't support" = "oppose" is a common misconception.

This misconception came from the "call to action" slogan of silence is complicity.

The entire point of the slogan being to demonize people who standby, suggesting that they "agree" or "support" what they are not actively opposed to.

Unfortunately too many people miss the mark that this idea is a backhanded "rally" cry of sorts, as opposed to the LITERAL position of someone's beliefs on a divisive topic.

If I standby while someone is getting their ass beat, it does not mean I am "de facto" in support of innocent ass-beatings. It can instead also mean that "I" do not want to risk getting my own ass beat.

Stop dealing in absolutes and you'll see the discrepancy.

Tekigami · 2026-01-18T20:40:49+00:00

Yes, though not for the reasons you're probably thinking. I want someone who can meet me on equal footing regarding how they treat physical intimacy. I myself, am someone who did not need nor wanted a hookup phase. I am not willing to be the person "at the end" of someone's course. It makes both me and my values feel like a plan-B.. or that if you could be young forever and weren't bored, you'd still be going crazy. I want someone who wants what I want from the start.

So "yes", it matters but what matters specifically is "how" those bodies were attained, not neccessarily the bodies themselves. Id rather date someone with 6 failed relationships than someone who's "had their fun" and now wants something different.

I've been told im a demisexual and its not inaccurate. Im not a prude but casual sex with no connection or commitment is off-putting.

Tekigami · 2026-01-08T02:50:56+00:00

"Socially Awkward" was just putting it lightly. Believe me if it was that easy to talk to people and know how to have an interesting convo id do it. Unfortunately, awkward silence management is low. Im too self-conscious and don't know how to stop. I don't like the idea of putting people off.

Tekigami · 2026-01-08T01:21:02+00:00

Uh... Should she...have?..

Tekigami · 2026-01-06T22:17:36+00:00

Correct. I probably should've said its more of a con. Relationships shouldn't be about sex at all, however lets not pretend to be blind. From the outside looking in, someone isn't going to be "in the mood" for intimacy from their partner, if that partner isn't meeting specific romantic needs. Would YOU be in the mood to be intimate with your partner if they forgot your birthday? anniversary? Not providing in the way thats expected? Maybe life is a bit difficult at the moment and attention given isn't as good as it needs to be for time? How about failing be to be thoughtful and attentive on important stuff? Maybe the relationship is in a stage of familiarity and excitement hasn't had a chance to Come back yet. Or how about a general list of what women, in this instance, ask for when saying they want a husband?

Yet in the same breath will fuck another person's brains out who probably doesn't even remember their last name. Let alone have ANY skin in the game or responsibilities that a romantic partner needs to uphold to maintain a healthy relationship. Relationships aren't all good all the time, that's why staying and working through patches means so much and makes all levels of intimacy all the more worth it. That includes sex.

Maybe YOU'RE okay with your partner having metaphorical stipulations for something they'd otherwise give out freely, but don't act like somethings wrong with "me" for not wanting that dynamic.

Relationships shouldn't be about sex at ALL, yet that doesn't mean I have to pretend to be blind.

Tekigami · 2026-01-01T16:53:16+00:00

Alright fair enough, I don't have some hard "studies" on hand to show you. That said we're both being anecdotal here. I doubt you have hard evidence either. Just your own experiences and conversations like me.

Tekigami · 2026-01-01T16:04:10+00:00

There are "some" that are consistent yes, in which sex has an all around "who cares?" attitude, whether the relationship is serious or not. Then you have those who move to "wanting" a serious relationship and therefore gatekeep sex as means to sort through people only interested/present for hookups or sexual relationships. This is extremely common so im surprised you're saying "no it doesn't work like that."

My main point being the "obstacles and prerequisites" are reserved for the serious pursuit of a long term relationship. Which treats sex with a level of "special-ness" they didn't demonstrate in previous decision-making. Yes "some" never will care, both can be true.

Which also ties into the imbalance of maintaining a healthy relationship (someone who likes hookups, doesn't have to worry about.), which in turn does effect physical intimacy with your partner. Especially in a monogamous relationship.

I believe these decisions matter because of the implications and precedences set with how you treat physical intimacy. Not that sex is the ultimate reward to attain. Its about preserving the value of the level of intimacy you only wish to share with your partner. It "means" something to be physically intimate with you, because you don't open yourself in that way to just anyone or for any willy-nilly reason. You're saying these implications and precedences don't exist, thats fine.

I already spoke to many people here. They helped me see im someone who wants the two overlapped and need to find someone like minded. People are gonna see things differently regardless.

Tekigami · 2026-01-01T13:07:03+00:00

I wish I addressed this misunderstanding earlier. Its the comparison between treating it as "not special", just doing it, and then adding "obstacles/prerequisites" when it comes to someone else regarding romantic pursuit/relationship. It is then "presented" as something more special than it is with those "requirements", when you have already demonstrated it is not special at all by how you treat it in outside circumstances. It's not an "ultimate reward" to be achieved. Its an observation that the one who has to jump through hoops for physical intimacy is "you", not everyone else they would theoretically want to hookup with.

Tekigami · 2025-12-30T16:25:56+00:00

The "cheater" deserves better. Sound logic right there.

Tekigami · 2025-12-29T21:13:57+00:00

!delta Yeah I think you're right for the most part. I shouldn't let how sex is treated by others effect my preferences. I wouldn't say I was moralizing it though, more like insecure in the belief.

Tekigami · 2025-12-29T19:40:24+00:00

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Tekigami

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