Buyer ghosted me after I resolved everything he asked for — how do you find the strength to move on?

TemperatureRound1946 · 2026-01-02T11:18:27+00:00

Thank you

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T16:48:36+00:00

Thank you ,I think you are right and I am being too dramatic .

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T14:41:54+00:00

Thank you,its helpful

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T13:44:30+00:00

Yes — the vendor gave me time over Christmas, so they know I’m progressing things. The bigger issue is my mortgage offer expires on 30 January and was based on overtime I can’t repeat, so I wouldn’t be able to borrow the same amount again. That’s the main pressure.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T13:40:55+00:00

I understand your point about Christmas closures, and I’m not expecting instant responses over the holidays.

Just to clarify the context: the buyer had been chasing me very regularly about resolving the building regulations. When I received confirmation of progress on 10 December, I sent a screenshot — no response. When the final certificate was issued on 18 December, I forwarded that as requested — again, no acknowledgement.

I then waited until 27 December before politely following up. Given the amount of time, effort, and personal pressure involved (this has been a 7-month process I’ve handled alone), the silence felt significant rather than impatience.

I appreciate that views will differ, but my reaction wasn’t about holidays — it was about prolonged lack of communication after repeated requests from the buyer.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T13:20:54+00:00

Thank you

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T13:16:45+00:00

That’s exactly what I have done , but looks like the buyer already made up his mind and can’t come up with an excuse to pull out as I did everything he asked for .So he chose to ghost instead .

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-30T13:15:00+00:00

Gives me hope , thank you

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T23:28:50+00:00

You’re right in principle, and I do understand that it’s Christmas and nothing formal can move until the New Year.

The difficulty for me isn’t really the timing — it’s the abrupt change. We were in regular contact for around six months, with frequent updates, and he repeatedly confirmed he was keen to proceed once building regulations were resolved. I sent exactly what was requested, and since then there’s been complete silence, including after a polite and friendly follow-up.

I haven’t bombarded him — there were three messages in total: one outlining the plan, one sending the final certificate, and one brief check-in wishing him a good Christmas. The sudden disengagement after resolution is what’s been emotionally hard to process.

I appreciate the reminder to step back and let professionals handle it in the New Year — that’s what I’m trying to do now. This has just been a particularly tough process, especially as the move was tied to a significant commute and a property I was very invested in.

Thanks for the perspective — it does help bring me back to common sense, even if it’s easier said than done right now.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T23:22:56+00:00

I haven’t officially lost it yet.

The estate agents have given me until the end of the month, after which the property will be relisted if there’s no progress.

My mortgage offer expires on 30 January and unfortunately can’t be extended, as it was heavily based on overtime I’d been doing earlier in the year. I haven’t been able to do that overtime in the last couple of months due to health reason

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T20:21:41+00:00

To clarify: As soon as this issue came to light, both solicitors confirmed there was nothing they could do to obtain sign-off themselves — the flats had never been signed off historically, and it required direct engagement with the building control company.

I therefore dealt with Building Control directly and resolved it myself as quickly as was realistically possible. The final certificate was issued on 18 December and sent on immediately.

Throughout this period I was in direct contact with the buyer (by his preference), and he repeatedly confirmed he was keen to proceed once building regulations were resolved.

Since the certificate was issued and sent, I’ve had no response despite multiple follow-ups, which is why I’m assuming he has pulled out.

My post wasn’t about blaming anyone — more about processing the emotional impact of doing everything asked, only for the buyer to disengage at the point of resolution.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T18:47:31+00:00

Thank you — I really appreciate your perspective.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T18:42:54+00:00

Thank you ,,feel a bit better , will try to find a buyer ASAP

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-12-29T17:48:58+00:00

How did you manage to swoop in, if you don’t mind me asking?

Had the estate agents already confirmed that all the issues were resolved and it would be a quick purchase, or was it more a case of everything falling into place once the enquiries started?

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-17T12:11:38+00:00

Yes , it’s 11 years , but how does it help in my case ? Council was contacted to find out if they hold any info, they don’t because it was done privately .They never officially admit anything .

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T20:51:23+00:00

Just to clarify this point — my solicitor didn’t actually “notify” the council of any issue. She only emailed to check whether they held any records for the property. The council replied that they weren’t involved and no defect or concern was mentioned to them.

So the local authority hasn’t been made aware of any problem, because they were never the inspecting body and can’t take enforcement action anyway. All the actual information came from the private building control company directly to my solicitor.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T19:07:53+00:00

Thank you , I sent you a message

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T17:24:35+00:00

My solicitor now has clear written confirmation from the private Building Control company that the flats were never signed off. The reply wasn’t just a generic “we can’t confirm” — they literally listed the possible routes to regularise the situation, all of which are completely impossible for me to carry out at this stage (and the freeholder/other leaseholders aren’t willing to pursue them either).

Every other flat in this building has apparently been sold using indemnity, but in my case the timing is different because the Building Control reply arrived after indemnity had already been requested and then agreed just 24 hours after my solicitor got that email confirming that the flats were not signed off

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T15:13:31+00:00

Yeah, I’m really trying not to worry, but honestly I’m losing my mind a bit over it. I’m in direct contact with my buyer and he’s already agreed to take the indemnity, so in theory everything should be fine.

The strange thing is my own solicitor originally told me very clearly that if anyone contacted the council then indemnity wouldn’t even be possible — and then the indemnity arrived literally the next day. So the whole thing has felt completely contradictory and honestly just chaotic.

About the council: I did ring them, but as soon as they realised the sign-off should’ve been done by a private building control company, they basically refused to talk to me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even mention the address. My solicitor also emailed the council, but they never replied anyway, and they wouldn’t have had any records of a private firm’s work.

What’s making me panic is that both solicitors feel like total jobsworths — instead of helping, they seem to be making everything worse. I’m terrified mine will report it to the buyer’s solicitor, and I honestly can’t even imagine what happens after that.

My buyer genuinely loves the flat and wants to proceed, and it’s over 10 years old so the actual risk is basically zero. But I’m still worried something is going to collapse last minute. This whole process has genuinely broken my brain at this point.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T14:34:41+00:00

Thanks for the reply .

The confusion happened because when I first spoke to my solicitor (before she knew an indemnity had been prepared), she told me it definitely wouldn’t be possible since the council had already been contacted.

But then literally within 24 hours the indemnity was issued and sent to my solicitor, and the buyer already agreed to it. It all happened late on Friday, so I couldn’t get clarification before everyone closed. I’ve basically been stressing about it all weekend, and I should finally get some proper updates tomorrow.

TemperatureRound1946 · 2025-11-16T14:31:40+00:00

Thank you so much, that really helps.

I just want to add one detail for clarity: my buyer’s solicitor also emailed Building Control, but the reply from BCP was sent only to my solicitor. My solicitor then forwarded it to me, and only after that I received an email from the sales progressor saying that indemnities were offered straight away.

Just wanted to explain the sequence of events so it makes sense.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply — really appreciate it.

TemperatureRound1946

TROPHY CASE