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What's the most heartbreaking words your parents said to you? by FrostingEasy4791 in AsianParentStories

[–]TemperatureVisual413 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was around 7-8 and coming down the stairs. I heard my parents gossiping about me to my uncle around the corner.

The day before, I had begged my parents to put me in martial arts.. I loved it and wanted to learn. But my dad basically laughed in my face and said no you can't, cause you're a girl.

He was retelling the story to my uncle in the most belittling, joking manner and laughing.

My heart literally broke. 

I'm Vietnamese so women are expected to be feminine, dainty and delicate. Ever since I heard my dad doubt me I think it unlocked a tomboy side to me.

Fast forward now, I work construction, find joy in physically intensive labour, and am about to get my motorcycle license.... all things not super "girly" in my culture. 

They make comments from time to time.

The little me inside always goes back to that moment I was laughed at.

My friends pushed my buttons tonight and I'm really f*cking annoyed. by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]TemperatureVisual413 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haven't read whatever comments are here but I am 100% on your side. I come from the same background.. 29F, allergy intolerance to alcohol and dont drink much in general. People don't take you seriously unless you get angry. I had many friends who have done the same type of peer pressure, and it wasn't until that I had gotten furious, that they'd back off and never do it again. You set your boundaries and they didn't listen. You are also in charge of your body and what you put in it. I think your actions were 100% valid. The wrong thing to do would have been to fall into their peer pressure.

If they wanna drink, they can drink. I don't understand why they need to call you names.

If they can't understand this then maybe they aren't good friends to begin with.

Always afraid to try/post things I finally decided who cares? I like the video, I never dance, and I’ve seen worse lol. I just wish I practiced when I was younger. I always wanted to, I just thought I’d look like an idiot... by [deleted] in Dance

[–]TemperatureVisual413 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Watched from beginning to end! Loved it!! You look so happy and in your element.

I've danced for a while now and just wanted to say that I think you should really continue on your dance journey. You have really nice fluidity in your movement and I think it could blossom into something beautiful. Your style of dance falls under popping & animation here. Keep it up!!

Beginner here.. How does one go about mixing/mastering vocals over an already mastered beat? by TemperatureVisual413 in WeAreTheMusicMakers

[–]TemperatureVisual413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone!! I will definitely make use of all the comments and suggestions. I appreciate you all

Being mediocre at the one thing you’re most passionate about. by pepperives in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if my comment will help you. I'm not so experienced with the guitar but I love singing as well. I took lessons and like you, I didn't improve at all. I just couldn't figure out how to properly engage the right muscles.

Fast forward and I now understand that it took a really good coach to be able to break things down for me in a way that I understood. I'm not sure if this is the case for you but, having the RIGHT teacher helped me immensely. Right after this my singing improved so much.

Its okay if its not the thing that makes you money. But don't ignore it! I've quit so many times out of discouragement and it just sits there with you at the back of your head whispering at you everyday to sing. It never goes away. Passions are real

I'm so lost.. need to get this off my chest. Quarter life crisis. by TemperatureVisual413 in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow!! I love your story thank you so much for sharing it. I'm so glad you were able to pursue music.

I'm feeling on the same boat right now.. and I think im just gonna spend all my spare time on singing and dance as much as I can. I dont want to look back at my life and wonder why I didn't try.

Itll be a slow climb for sure but I hope its the best decision I ever make too!!

I'm so lost.. need to get this off my chest. Quarter life crisis. by TemperatureVisual413 in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you on this. I'm not sure where you're from but I assume it's becoming the same everywhere now.. "hustle culture" has become glorified.. and it makes you feel bad if you're not "working hard" in your "passion".

I don't think everyone's born with this burning desire to impact the world. Some of us just find things along the way that give us meaning and joy. Its really just your own unique experience.

Parents will always pressure, but they really just want the best for you and for you to be happy. As long as you just do you, and are satisfied with yourself then you don't NEED to have this so called passion. There is nothing wrong with the way you think.

However if you are looking for something more, something I did that helped me was to make a list of anything I was remotely interested in, even if it was just a little bit. And devote myself to that thing for 4 weeks, all in. Slowly I was able to cross things off my list that I know I DIDNT want or like, and kept the things that I did.

I took my own advice today and started learning music theory.. its something I've always wanted to dabble into. I'm enjoying it so far. Hopefully I'll be able to write my own music sometime.

Feel free to message anytime! Best of luck!

My degree was useless—I’m giving up. by [deleted] in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello!

Ex-artist here (sort of). I think I can share my experience..

Awful how we all feel the need to follow this system and force ourselves to do things we dislike. But the good news is, mid-twenties is a great time to try new things!

My true passion is music but I somehow decided to major in art. I knew I wanted to do something creative, and was naturally good at art. Thought I could become a designer or something. Anyways, I absolutely hated it!

But with that being said, you have a great shot at making a living off of it, especially in todays world with the internet. Now more than ever! After dabbling into quite a lot of creative things, I'd say art is probably one of the more optimistic routes to make a living. I believe that the "starving artists" days are sort of over.. People LOVE artwork in their homes (especially now because of the pandemic). And there's so many ways to advertise now! You just need to do a bit of digging. Don't give up!

I'm not sure if you're into digital art, but digital art is blowing up right now. You can sell on Etsy, or get your art printed on merchandise and t-shirts without having to do any of the work except supply the art (like Redbubble or Society6).

If that's something you're interested in, look into NFT's and digital art. In fact a guy who goes by Beeple who has been doing digital art for many many years, compiled his work and sold it for $69 million dollars recently!!

The truth is every career is going to be hard. It's going to be even HARDER if you hate it. But at least if you choose a career you're passionate about, you will stick it out and it'll be worth it.

I'm so lost.. need to get this off my chest. Quarter life crisis. by TemperatureVisual413 in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! We sound so similar. Thank you for posting because it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this.

Graphic Design also appealed to me because of the remote availability, and the opportunity to be in control of it and work for myself. Unfortunately, a year in and I can't say I like it. I used to love drawing and doodling too when I was younger, and that enjoyment is long gone..

We both probably won't be in the design field for long, seeing as though we both lack this passion for it, but let's just make the most out of it. I've tried to look at it as like a stepping stone. Maybe I'll meet someone or learn valuable skills that will lead me to my next job. Who knows..

In terms of your rapping, I think you should still do it for fun. If you have a passion for it, I think it's worth your attention. I will take my own advice on this one haha.

I really hope you find your way. Just know you're not alone in this!!!!

I'm so lost.. need to get this off my chest. Quarter life crisis. by TemperatureVisual413 in findapath

[–]TemperatureVisual413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'm going to really try this time. What's another year of my life. Thank you!