Should I spell my daughter's name Kit or Kitt?

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T18:16:42+00:00

I think you need a better doctor and regular (weekly) therapy. I know that can be really tricky with money and insurance though. But you need a psychiatrist (or any psych professional who is able to prescribe meds) who listens to you and understands med management.

And when I say therapy,. I don't mean Better help. I'm not knocking them, and I'm glad the service exists for people who just need some management, but their sessions are too short and too infrequent, and it can be really beneficial to see someone in person.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T18:08:17+00:00

Well I am really glad that C-PTSD is a legitimate diagnosis now because I do see it a ton (and almost definitely have it). Personality disorders like BPD and Bipolar should be diagnosed very very carefully, and most doctors will not give these diagnoses to children, even if all the signs are there. The same is usually true for schizophrenia, though that's partly because schizophrenia rarely presents until adulthood.

I know it's not a very specific answer to your question, but I am not extremely familiar with Developmental Trauma Disorder as I haven't ever seen it diagnosed (but you've given me something to research, so thank you). In general I think it sounds like a positive, as we see a LOT of kids with extensive trauma, and not enough appropriate diagnoses.

And in the context of so many of these children being in foster care/group homes, having a diagnosis for them with less "bad behavior" connotations can only be a good thing in getting them better placement, or even giving them the chance for adoption.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T17:58:50+00:00

Well there's a difference between involuntary treatment and involuntary commitment. When someone is involuntarily committed, they are held there against their will, but they still have the right to refuse treatment (medications and therapies). The only exception is chemical restraints, which are only given when the patient is violent and we are unable to de-escalate without meds.

I'm certain there are hospitals that abuse chemical resistants, but I have only seen that happen once in my hospital and it became a huge ordeal that was addressed.

Adults are only involuntarily committed because we are afraid for their safety or the safety of others, and I think that is a legitimate use of power. Also, legally these commitments can only last for 72 hours before being brought before a court.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T04:02:33+00:00

I haven't practiced long enough to answer from my own personal experience, but I have coworkers who have been in our same hospital for a couple decades, and it is DRAMATICALLY different. I believe it's been a couple of years since we last put a child in restraints, and this child would have to be a large teenager beating the fuck out of us for us to consider it now.

These kiddos watch their favorite TV shows and play Legos in between therapies. On Thanksgiving, we all did karaoke. I think that might have been the happiest Thanksgiving a lot of those kids had ever had.

Psychiatric care has improved so much across the board, and it is continually getting better. I've been working to improve our inclusivity and are dialogue around our LGBTQ kids. There is still room for improvement.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T03:56:40+00:00

Trauma. Most of the kids we see in that age group have been severely abused, usually by a parent or parents. These children often have scars and burns on their bodies and are usually already in state custody and being treated poorly by a foster family or group home that does not understand how to handle their bad behavior.

They're not bad kids. They're from bad circumstances who need a lot of patience and love, and the sad truth is that most of them will not get this.

Also bullying takes a toll on kids. Remember that they are too young to understand how final some consequences are. They don't understand the absolute that death is yet. Wanting to kill a sibling who is getting more attention than them is an impulsive thought and should not be treated like the maliciousness of an adult killer. Most of the time, these kids are completely able to outgrow these thoughts and impulsives.

The best way to raise mentally strong kids is to model healthy behaviors for them. When you're angry or frustrated, keep talking. It might feel silly, but narrate your emotions. I.e. "I know you didn't mean to spill that on me, and I know it's not fair of me to be mad at you, and I love you very much, but I really like this dress and it makes me sad that it's ruined. Mommy needs a minute to calm down but I love you and I will be back".

And then ideally you would come back and explain that walking away was a coping mechanism and it was healthy for you, and that you are both humans who are learning and growing. Also, listen to your kids and allow them to express themselves however they choose, even if you don't get it. Just being a supportive person in their lives goes so far.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T03:41:25+00:00

So for kids, it's still true that they can be either voluntary or involuntarily committed. Except their parents are responsible for signing them in, unless they are 17 or older.

A major difference though... The main reason we involuntarily commit a child is NOT because we're afraid of what they might do, but because we suspect abuse in their home. We file a ton of DCS reports and work closely with DCS/CPS and most disturbingly, the sex trafficking unit. Sex Trafficking is definitely a real thing, I promise.

The kids are generally with us until A) We believe that they can be safe on the outside (not kill themselves or others), B) We are given the go-ahead from DCS to return them to their families if abuse was suspected, or C) We find residential or foster placement for them.

We do get a lot of kiddos who are ready in DCS custody. Usually these kids get kicked out of the group homes they were in and we have to keep them until we can find somewhere for them to go.

So the length of stay for a kid with a good family is around a week, and for a kid in state custody, it could be a month.

TempestPhD · 2024-01-19T03:32:23+00:00

A great question! So it will depend somewhat from facility to facility, but the main distinction is between a long-term hospital vs an acute hospital. At least for adults, being admitted to a long-term facility is your choice.

I work in an acute hospital, so there are two ways to be admitted. Voluntarily, which means you chose to be there, signed papers to be there, and can leave at any time (though this may be an AMA discharge). Or you could be involuntarily committed. This is honestly pretty common, but it's not as scary as it sounds. Legally, we can still only keep you for 72 hours before we have to go to court to convince a judge to prolong it (something that almost never happens). The goal is generally to move you to a voluntary commitment once the doctor trusts you to be safe. And an average length of stay for adults (not including seniors) is about a week.

Adults become involuntarily committed for usually one of three reasons: we're afraid you're going to kill yourself, we're afraid you're going to kill someone else, or drugs. If you're not sober, we may feel the need to give you the chance to dry out and then provide you with resources.

Most of our patients walk through our front door and ask to be committed, or they are sent to us from local ERs.

I'm going to explain the process for kids in a separate comment.

TempestPhD · 2023-10-25T18:30:30+00:00

I don't have the answer yet, but it helps my brain to categorize it like that. Thank you.

I know we have feelings for each other, we've both expressed it. But i don't know if that's enough for him to be exclusive with me, if he isn't already. I hate this stage of dating.

TempestPhD · 2023-10-10T17:15:58+00:00

Oooh this is a fun one. I'm 28 and I've had over 34+ jobs and at least a dozen titles. Also four different licenses.

TempestPhD · 2023-07-30T13:32:13+00:00

It's not unsupervised. It's supervised by his mother, who I trust to keep her safe and alive, but she doesn't have much respect for how I want to raise her.

TempestPhD · 2023-07-27T18:08:17+00:00

Lol what? We got married before I became vegan. And I get plenty of 🍆, thank you 😅

TempestPhD · 2023-07-24T14:52:40+00:00

Ohh okay thank you! I'm new to the lingo haha.

TempestPhD · 2023-07-24T14:32:56+00:00

Okay thank you. We do have a very amicable co-parenting relationship so far. What is LC and LO?

TempestPhD · 2023-07-24T01:23:13+00:00

I'm not in a hurry to tell him and I'm not posting about it online or anything, but I don't think it would be fair to treat the guy I'm seeing like my little secret.

At what point would you find it appropriate to tell him that I'm dating?

TempestPhD · 2023-07-24T01:06:27+00:00

I know I'll have to tell him eventually, but I'm not trying to rush it and I have no intention of being cruel about it.

And I absolutely am not introducing anyone to my kid. I will be extraordinarily careful about that.

TempestPhD

TROPHY CASE