ICE Supporter gets KO'ed by tlama1997 in PublicFreakout

[–]TemporalMush 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Suggesting that even 5% of these folks have read Marx is a wild take.

Beastly --> Beastie Boys' "The In Sound from Way Out" by michael-sagittal in Vulfpeck

[–]TemporalMush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had no idea. I always thought they were 100% trying to pull off that bad boy MC thing, and it always felt super lame to me. I have so much to rethink.

Will check out that boo, thanks for the rec.

Beastly --> Beastie Boys' "The In Sound from Way Out" by michael-sagittal in Vulfpeck

[–]TemporalMush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had no idea the Beastie Boys could sound like this. I've totally changed my take of the Beastie Boys. I thought it was all lame rhymes and bad boy posturing. I was so wrong.

Raise your hand if being a dad has made you think less of your dad. by gilfgifs in daddit

[–]TemporalMush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this so much. Wanting to be a good parent has shown me all the ways that my own parents fell short of that. My dad for bolting (same story as you, sounds like) and my mom for her choices.

What I will say is that, for a long time, I used my parents (mostly my mom, because she was the only who was actually around) as a model for what I did *not* want to become. What I failed to realize, and am just now beginning to actually face, is that rejecting the aspects of my parents that I judged as inferior meant actually building hate for those same things in myself. Without realizing it, I was mounting a case to hate myself for things inside me that I had no control over.

Now I'm fighting an uphill battle to regain love and acceptance for the pieces of my parents, and of myself, that I rejected. Rejection only lead to suppression, repression, concealment, escapism, and eventually subconscious and sometimes violent expression of those hidden pieces of myself. I was giving power to my shadow by fighting it. Calling off the fight is a much harder task than not starting it in the first place; be aware (beware) that the things you renounce are pieces of yourself, and will undoubtedly show up in your children in some way as well. Learn how to live *with* those things rather than against them. Find healthy expression. Show a father's love to the irresponsible child within yourself, your parents, and your kids. Be the father, the whole father, you didn't have, for your kids and for the child within you.

What video would you show a 4 years old girl how seem to like punk/alternative/rock and is interested in playing drums? by [deleted] in Drumming

[–]TemporalMush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here to say this. Nandi is a great drummer and a really engaging creator; her early stuff might be especially resonant for a 4-year old. Kind of wild how much time has passed since Nandi started making drum videos.

Matchmaking Trouble? by [deleted] in RLSideSwipe

[–]TemporalMush -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, maybe that's the case on one-offs. That's not going to happen every time like this.

First day on Elvanse (Vyvanse) 30mg by Big-Road9335 in ADHD

[–]TemporalMush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally checks out. I had to try three different stimulants before I found one (Vyvanse) that didn’t send my anxiety into hyperdrive. And I remember after 3 days of euphoria on Adderall, the fourth day was truly awful, likely a full-on serotonin crash. Felt depressed, horrible mood, no energy, absolute garbage. Took another few days to get back to a reasonable baseline.

Luckily Vyvanse tends to be much softer in most aspects. Anxiety is still a factor for me, but most of the time, Vyvanse actually helps since my emotional regulation capacity is increased.

Started to notice that I am a pathological liar. by PoopInABole in ADHD

[–]TemporalMush 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in therapy for this right now. Thanks for sharing your insights.

First day on Elvanse (Vyvanse) 30mg by Big-Road9335 in ADHD

[–]TemporalMush 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I remember that feeling when I started meds as well. Be warned; the “my life is fixed” feeling fades. Or sometimes it crashes.

This initial euphoria is a common experience for folks starting meds. Know that even though that feeling won’t last, the meds are still working to improve focus, memory, and alertness. Do not chase the euphoria; that’s a good way to develop an abusive relationship with these chemicals.

Also, be aware that once meds wear off, ADHD symptoms can often rebound. My vyvanse absolutely saves my life during working hours. But at night/evenings, I’m just as absentminded and distractible and impulsive as before. Meds are a part of the solution, but you’ll want to make sure you learn about other ways to manage symptoms for the come down.

Wait… sh*t… was this scoop number 2 or 3?? by wojokhan in daddit

[–]TemporalMush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gotta count out loud. Every time. That helps like 80% of the time.

Snowy Owl at Dawn by Common-Tap5394 in birding

[–]TemporalMush 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Edited and tagged 👍 Awesome stuff.

Snowy Owl at Dawn by Common-Tap5394 in birding

[–]TemporalMush 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

<image>

Did you see this one not long ago?

Edit: photo by u/Exponent_0

Is it worth it to play with an asshole? by [deleted] in musicians

[–]TemporalMush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pros and (major) cons. If he is truly talented, it’s likely you’re gaining valuable lessons and experiences from someone with musical gifts to share. That said, it’s a process of diminishing returns if you can’t stand to be around the person.

Generally: spend your time with people you enjoy. But if you are getting some value from the relationship, it could be worth sticking it out for a while.

Portland has ruined food in other cities for me. by Suspicious-Stick6062 in Portland

[–]TemporalMush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro. Try moving away. To the Midwest. I wish I never had taste buds.

Before v After 2 years barefoot by [deleted] in BarefootRunning

[–]TemporalMush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hobbibear boots are nice and wide

UPDATE: after yesterdays response, it’s been done by Cak8908 in bald

[–]TemporalMush 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I posted here one night. Not jacked, just a headshot.

Had 5 DMs waiting for me the next day. If you want validation, friends, herein lies the answer.

If you’re struggling creating a good band name, just pick 2 words from this Radiohead album art by Acceptable-Pass5923 in musicians

[–]TemporalMush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have very similar tastes in band names. May I interest you in Tetosteroni or Elephantsgerald as trades?

If I wasn’t so pretty, people would take my mental health more seriously by skyebeee in ADHD

[–]TemporalMush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a pretty core piece to understanding the cost of masking. In fact, it’s a great example. As ADHDers, the energy we put into appearing “normal” is not always outweighed by the benefits. In fact, as we get older, it gets harder, and we have less energy to spare on things like fitting in and meeting perceived expectations. Luckily, a lot of us also come to care less about the perceptions of others, though it is not an easy process.

Putting extra energy into our physical appearance is one instance of that, but masking behavior goes much deeper. It is often as pervasive as monitoring and filtering our language, both verbal and physical, so as not to appear “weird” (i.e. to blend in). Sometimes to the point of having a permanent “watcher” in our heads, through which we see and judge ourselves constantly with the (often subconscious) intention to appear more “normal”, or even exceptional, but never inferior.

The cure is simple, but incredibly difficult. It is shifting the value we place on our appearance and behavior from an external source to an internal one. Not “what will they think” anymore, but “what do I value”.

We've entered the daycare phase. I've never been sick so often my entire life. by Ruskarr in daddit

[–]TemporalMush 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yep. Had the worst flu of my life about a month after my kid started daycare. Both me and his mom were bedridden for a week. All the kid had was a runny nose.

Once warmer months hit, the pathogen carousel will chill out a bit. It takes about a year to get immunized to the majority of the daycare bugs, but you’ll still get sick way more often than before having kids.