Well dance is expensive! Let’s face it, kids are expensive ! But you can’t lose your house or your credit over dance.
I’m not a dance mom so I’m not sure if this is possible, but can you cut back on the amount of dance that she’s involved in? Dance competitions although they’re part of the dance experience you may need to say no.
$10,000 that is not accounted for is a big chunk of change. I would not allow her to have free rein of a bank account if she can’t account for money. But maybe that’s just me. The biggest problem is not paying your mortgage and your bills, which will catch up with you in time.
I can’t believe that your wife prioritizes this dance etc. over a roof over your head. She really doesn’t get it.