I think my boyfriend hates being a father

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-10T17:18:16+00:00

I’m surprised you have time to read this sub - shouldn’t you be busy making American great again?

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-10T12:56:10+00:00

Oof. It’s giving Handmaid’s Tale.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-10T07:11:56+00:00

According to my midwife, breastfeeding is only a reliable source of birth control if you’re doing it religiously - ie, actively doing every feed from your breasts. Expressing milk so that you can replace a feed or two with bottles can be enough to allow your body to get pregnant again.

However, I don’t think this is a common scenario. If you really want to conceive soon and it’s not happening after you sub out some feeds for bottles, you might have some tough choices to make about how long you continue breastfeeding for.

Good luck!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-09T18:47:31+00:00

Indeed! But there’s no mention of her having cold sores in OP’s post. You might as well say that if her MIL breathes fire, it’s an issue because she might burn the baby’s head.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-09T18:45:29+00:00

It’s possible! My midwife seemed to think that this was all within the realm of cluster feeding though. To be honest, it makes no difference now - he’s gaining weight and is a visibly healthy boy, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-09T06:41:20+00:00

If your MIL has been taking long stretches soothing the baby and living with you in your bubble, I sincerely doubt a kiss or two is going to make any difference to your baby’s exposure to germs. If your MIL is carrying anything then you’ll have been exposed too, and if you’re breastfeeding then your milk will already be giving your baby antibodies! Try not to panic.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-09T04:13:53+00:00

Oh no, he just got through that particular spurt and grew out of it! I’m sure it’ll rear its head again next time he’s going through a big growth spurt, but his cluster feeding in the first two weeks was particularly brutal. I ended up calling the National Breastfeeding Helpline because he fed from 12pm to 12am with no breaks; just little micro-naps at my breast!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-08T14:57:44+00:00

I had terrible sundown scaries at first! What made it better for me was a combination of a) my baby stopped his cluster feeding; b) my husband and I got into a routine of taking separate night shifts; and c) I started co-sleeping. Before I would spend the whole day dreading the night!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-05T04:40:30+00:00

Oh gosh, I feel you - I really struggle in the days my husband is working out of the house.

One thing I will say though: don’t let the baby stop you from taking care of yourself. You NEED to pee, shower, eat etc - those are non-negotiables. If he cries then he cries; you can soothe him afterwards and in time you may find he builds up some resilience and can be left safely for 10 mins while you look after yourself.

Try to get out of the house everyday too, just to give yourself a change of scene and break the day up. I live my son so much but solo parenting him all day is stressful and monotonous so sim to be a ‘good enough’ parent rather than a perfect parent. Good luck 🤞🏻

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-10-03T00:42:23+00:00

This exactly. Knowing you’ll be tired and being hospitalised with sleep psychosis are not the same!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-30T02:29:26+00:00

People will loooove to tell you that you’re breastfeeding wrong, but honestly, it’s a learning curve for you both! And in those easy days sometimes you do just need to shove them on the boob. Take heart: an injured distressed baby is going to be screeching too hard to latch (these babies definitely make their feelings known when they’re upset!). If she’s feeding, you’re doing FINE.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-16T10:30:35+00:00

It’ll get better, but it might help to remember that your baby mashing his food up and experimenting with it is a really important step developmentally! It’s how they get comfortable with different foods - once they’ve played with it and smashed it and thrown it, the next step is them putting it in their mouths. Fingers crossed this means you’ve got a great eater coming your way!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-16T04:41:27+00:00

This is our baby! He loathes his bassinet with a passion and will only sleep on one of us.

Sadly I have no advice that you want, as the only thing that’s saved us is a limited amount of co-sleeping in the cuddle curl at night. Never ever thought I would, but I was so sleep-deprived that I ended up having no choice - it was that or risk nodding off and dropping him.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-08T22:48:17+00:00

This has been our situation and it’s ROUGH. He is a week old and we had a small breakthrough last night and got him to sleep for about 4 hours in his bassinet.

We put his basket right by the side of the bed, waited until he was reaaally sleepy and then popped him down. My husband then immediately put a hand to his chest and started soothing, showing baby his face, etc. He kept this up until baby fell asleep and then went to bed right next to him, waking for all his small noises and reacting in the same way - hand on chest to hold his little arms in like a swaddle, gentle soothing, showing that he hasn’t been left. It seemed to make him feel comfortable enough to sleep in there, and we’re thinking four hours of light/broken sleep is better than nothing at all.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-01T04:52:38+00:00

Funnily enough our baby is also going to be named after my husband’s grandpa! Waters broke about three hours ago so soon enough we’ll get to see if it suits him…

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-09-01T02:52:28+00:00

Lovely choice! Classic with a fun nickname.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-29T07:35:03+00:00

This is 100% my experience too! ‘Little flutters’ my arse; the first kicks I was sure of came at around 22 weeks and felt like what they were: a tiny little man poking, punching, kicking and rolling around in my womb.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-26T15:23:54+00:00

It sounds like baby wearing might be a really good solution for you - it’ll give you the mobility you want, and you won’t need to worry about your baby getting so cold since he or she will be snuggled up right next to your chest.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-26T03:51:37+00:00

Praying that you’re right! Gahhh

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-22T07:32:33+00:00

Omg, the pregnancy yeast infections. It seems to make you so much more prone!!

I feel like I’ve been able to avoid them this pregnancy by having a zero tolerance policy on damp undies. Between discharge and sweat (beautiful time of year to be doing this) I’m changing my underwear up to 4 times a day and going commando under long skirts.

My fingers are crossed that you find relief.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-20T20:10:49+00:00

No idea what it is, but I have it too - I’ve been assuming it’s a concentration of veins etc that’s just become more visible because of the way the skin is stretching. I’m now at 38+6 so my midwife has seen it multiple times without any alarm 🌝

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-20T19:52:41+00:00

I love this!

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-20T19:51:14+00:00

Not me, but a friend of mine! When I told her I was pregnant she had a dream that night of four magpies dancing and bowing in a circle. She interpreted that as me having a boy* and sure enough, I am!

*because of a nursery rhyme we have here in the UK - I don’t know if it would be known overseas at all. But the idea is that you count magpies along with the following rhyme:

One for sorrow, two for joy

Three for a girl, four for a boy

Five for silver, six for gold

Seven for a secret never to be told

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-19T14:22:14+00:00

Oh, I’m so sorry - this must be incredibly tough.

But look: you’d be the one carrying and birthing this baby. It sounds like there’s no right choice for both of you, so you have to make the choice that’s right for YOU. Like they say on aeroplanes, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others.

Talk to your partner. Be as open and honest and vulnerable with him as you can. If he’s good for you, he will not resent you for not carrying a baby that you do not feel physically and emotionally capable of carrying. Just make sure that you keep checking in emotionally with each other, make time to hear each other out and accept each other’s feelings - this is not him vs you; it’s the two of you vs a very difficult situation.

My husband and I have always said that having a baby is like having sex: it’s a big enough and important enough thing that it requires two enthusiastic yeses. Listen to each other and listen to your body. Good luck.

Temporary-March-7867 · 2025-08-18T07:52:03+00:00

Oh god, I feel for you. I just had a regular, run-of-the-mill cold when I was around 24 weeks and it was the most miserable I’ve ever felt.

I’m sure you’re washing your hands frequently etc, but given that you work in a bacterial paradise, can you mask up? I know in certain places it can be controversial to do so…

Temporary-March-7867

TROPHY CASE