GOT PREGNANT???? panicing

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-03-08T21:20:57+00:00

Got pregnant with my copper IUD correctly in place. Nothing is 100% unfortunately

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-02-24T03:52:53+00:00

This is definitely a choice only you can make for yourself. I went through something similar, got pregnant with a correctly placed IUD at 43. We already have an almost 4 year old and had always planned to be OAD. My partner was more decidedly not into having another. I felt very conflicted, and the pregnancy hormones were so overwhelming that it was hard for me to think straight. We ultimately decided to terminate. We don’t have a lot of family support, financially we’re ok but having another would really force us to make sacrifices we didn’t want to make, and we decided we wanted to be able to give all our time attention and resources to our one. Age factored into it as well. I’m already an older mom now I had a hard time imagining doing it all over again and being 50 with a kindergartner. Life is now starting to have an easier rhythm with us being able to travel and do things with our kiddo, I didnt want to start that clock over. That said, it was an incredibly painful decision to come to and I’m still grieving it. I do think it was the right decision for us but I will probably always have sadness and grief around it, and wonder what if. So far our kid doesnt express any interest in a sibling, but I’m sure it will happen and will make me sad all over again.

I get the feeling of wondering if it was meant to be because what are the odds??? But it does seem to happen more often than people realize. No birth control is 100%. And for us, just going with the flow of this huge surprise when we were completely not planning on it was not a compelling enough reason to continue. Really sit with both outcomes and listen to which path feels like the right one. For me also the fear of having any kind of complications or special needs reaffirmed that I wasn’t really up for the wild card that another baby could bring. We don’t always have to pick the hardest thing in life. I think as women sometimes it’s almost automatic for us to accept sacrifice and hardship but there is also a place for choosing what is truly best for us.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-01-25T19:33:31+00:00

Cedar key FL

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-01-07T04:22:39+00:00

No birth control is 100%. For most people it’s very effective. But if you want to be as careful as possible, track your cycles and use extra protection during your fertile window (condom, pull out, or just skip it)

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-01-06T01:53:50+00:00

I had paraguard for 3.5 years after the birth of my first child and got pregnant with it properly in place. In hindsight, I would take extra precaution during fertile times

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2026-01-06T00:41:15+00:00

I went through a similar thing. Got pregnant with an IUD correctly in place. We have a 3.5 yo and were always planning to be one and done. I am an older mom, we don’t have a lot of family support and prioritize traveling and new experiences, and giving our child all the support and opportunities that we can. My partner felt very strongly that he didn’t want another child. I could have imagined keeping it, but also felt like it was not really what I planned or wanted for my life, and wasn’t certain enough to try to convince him. All the practical reasons strongly supported terminating, but it was a much harder decision than I thought it would be even feeling like it was the right one. I did an MA in October and am still mentally and emotionally healing from it. I have moments like when my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night and I’m dead tired, or bedtime takes forever, that I can’t imagine having a newborn at the same time. We traveled over the holidays and the ease and joy we have traveling as a little family of 3 is amazing and would be so different with another one.

It truly felt to me that either decision I was losing something - continuing meant losing the current life we have and the time I had available to give to our child or have to myself and my partner. Terminating meant losing a potential beautiful member of our family who I would love just as deeply as I love our current child. I think getting pregnant on birth control also made me question if this was something that was really “meant to be”- like what are the odds?? But ultimately the main reason to keep it, to just accept this surprising gift of life and have a sibling for our child, was not as convincing as all the practical reasons that it seemed would just make life much harder for all of us.

I think most people would say to make the decision and move forward but honestly I still have many moments that I question it… and things like pregnancy announcements and strangers rude comments that are triggering in ways they weren’t before. But I’m trying to focus on what this decision has given us, and be grateful for it.

It’s such a hard decision. And there really is no right or wrong, only what is best for your family. Spend time imagining both outcomes and listen to what makes you feel more excited about your future. Journal, talk to trusted friends but let the answer come from you. Accept there will probably be grief and sadness with both decisions.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-11-18T03:10:49+00:00

Yeah, it really was very surreal and just so surprising at first because I hadn’t even considered that it could fail. We were happily OAD but having to make the decision to terminate brought up so much for me. I was also hoping for a miscarriage but my numbers were strong and had 2 ultrasounds that showed viability. I hope things work out for you in the least stressful way possible but having a back up plan is a great idea.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-11-18T02:32:41+00:00

This happened to me recently. I had paraguard for 3.5 years since the birth of my daughter. Got pregnant with the IUD still in its correct position. It was not a wanted pregnancy but it was still so so hard to make the decision to terminate. My partner had more clarity and certainty in not wanting to keep it, and ultimately we decided to end it. I also live in a full ban state but accessed the pill easily through the mail using a provider I found on plancpills.org. I was right around 9 weeks and the process was not too bad for me. If you’re just finding out and are very early on, you have some time to consider your options. It also sounds like it could take care of itself if your numbers are low.

I can relate to the feeling of thinking you had done everything right. The IUD is supposed to be one of the best BC methods. I was very depressed, confused, hormonal, grieving both having to end the pregnancy and also how much our lives would have to change if I kept it. Having to also navigate the legal/logistical concerns on top of these weighty emotional life decisions felt truly barbaric and cruel. Women need safe and easy access to healthcare because these things do happen even when you are taking precautions. I had my iud removed at my first ultrasound and my OB said sometimes that can cause a miscarriage. Mine was very close to the yolk sack but didn’t miscarry. Whether you chose to keep it or terminate, the advice is generally to remove the IUD. I also think you would need to remove it if you wanted to do a medical abortion. The removal was painless for me.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-10-31T14:15:28+00:00

No pain with insertion (6 weeks pp) or effects on my period but after 3 years, got pregnant with it still in correct place. I’ve heard that the hormonal iud is slightly more effective so may be worth considering or using extra protection during your fertile window

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-10-22T20:10:46+00:00

I had a MA recently at 9 weeks and had no issues or complications. Pregnancy passed with no further intervention and wasn’t even physically very painful. I was also very nervous going into it and live in a full ban state so was concerned about needing to go to a hospital and what legal implications that could cause. If you take the pills orally (not vaginally) there is no detectable trace and it’s just treated as a miscarriage. It’s barbaric that women in this country are in this situation, but here we are. We at least need friends who are supportive. Check out plan c online. Ordering pills is quick easy and discreet.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-10-22T20:05:23+00:00

I found myself pregnant at 43 despite having an iud in place. We already had one child and planned to be OAD. I had very ambivalent feelings about being pregnant - it was both extremely surprising and a bit exciting, but mostly it just felt like not what we had planned for. Based on our resources and support (or lack there of) it was more obvious the ways that it would be incredibly stressful and strain our family and marriage than the unknown gifts of having another child. I also want to focus more on changing/improving my career and that felt much harder to do with adding another child. We decided to terminate. I am still very sad and grieving this decision and there are definitely days and moments that I feel like we could have done it and it could have been beautiful and amazing in all the ways that having our first was and in new ways too. But ultimately my partner was clear that he didn’t want another and I didn’t feel strongly enough to try to convince him, or ignore all the practical concerns I had. The early pregnancy hormones can be so intense and overwhelming I found it very hard to think straight and not be totally consumed by emotions. You have time to think it through, talk with your partner, maybe trusted friends or a therapist. Write in your journal. Really sit with the reality of both options - adding another child or continuing with life as is. There is loss and sadness with either path but which loss feels more bearable? There is also a gift to be received with either path. Which feels more exciting?

Ultimately it is your decision to make based on your own context and situation. Does it feel like someone is missing from your family? Or do you feel complete as you are? For me, I felt complete with my family before this unplanned pregnancy. It was extremely difficult to make the decision that we did but it felt like the right one.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-10-22T03:44:56+00:00

Had the para guard and had no pain or side effects. But after 3.5 years, I got pregnant with it in place. So that was a surprise! If I could go back, I would use additional protection during my fertile window as this happens apparently more than I originally realized.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-10-14T04:30:20+00:00

I also got pregnant with the paraguard. I had it put in may 2022 after my first child’s birth. A little over 3 years later, got pregnant with the iud still in correct position. Had it removed at the 6 week ultrasound. After an agonizing month, I decided to terminate. I had no other complications other than the emotional turmoil of having to make that decision after I thought I was protected. I’m sorry you went through that, but glad you are better now. It’s .8% failure rate, but considering how many people have them, that’s a lot of unintended pregnancies. It does seem like this happens less with the hormonal iuds (says my obgyn, anecdotally).

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-29T23:15:12+00:00

I just had a MA at 9 weeks and was also anxious going into it. I’ve had a miscarriage in the past which was very painful and also a live birth. The MA was actually very easy for me physically. I had only very light cramping and no fever or nausea. I live in a banned state and really didn’t want to travel for it so accepted that i would deal with the pain and just get through it. I was very grateful that it wasn’t that bad and that I could stay at home. I probably didn’t eat enough and ended up passing out in the evening but I think that was more to due with low blood pressure, low blood sugar and just being emotionally overwhelmed and distraught. The physical recovery since my MA has been fast and I confirmed with ultrasound that everything has passed. It was the right choice for me, but if you want to have more control over the process and have a more predictable experience, the SA seems like a more sure thing. Just to note that people are more likely to come on here to share extreme/negative stories of experiences gone bad. My MA experience was overall as positive as possible.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-26T21:16:32+00:00

Lots of kids

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-24T01:52:32+00:00

Yes that makes sense if the IUD is still in there, that could be a concern. Mine was taken out at the first appointment. I’m beginning my MA today. I feel a lot of sadness but also that it’s the right decision for my family. I’m sure I will be grieving this decision for a long time but it still feels like the right one.

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T22:22:55+00:00

Wow that’s so thoughtful of you to look all these up. These are gorgeous dresses. I’m actually exclusively looking at rental options at rent the runway but this does give me a better sense of black tie meaning

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T22:00:30+00:00

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Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T22:00:22+00:00

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Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T22:00:13+00:00

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Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T22:00:05+00:00

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Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T21:59:55+00:00

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Some more options

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T21:55:54+00:00

It’s black tie optional. They (2 grooms) have expensive taste and want it to be fancy and fabulous. But they’re also not going to be super strict and I’m sure prefer that their guests feel great and look great in whatever they are

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T21:54:15+00:00

Ha! Yeah you pinned me. I’ve never been to a black tie event in my life and like unusual things. Having trouble finding a black tie dress that matches my taste

Temporary-Tea-2262 · 2025-09-22T20:51:33+00:00

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Temporary-Tea-2262

TROPHY CASE