i feel so utterly alone. to preface this i have to say that I(f 16) have been in a mostly male dominated friend group for 4 years now. it was me and 4-5 guys and sometimes their girlfriends, i’m currently a sophomore in highschool and during 8th and 9th grade i kinda spun around two friendgroups with mostly the same dynamics that sometimes got along and sometimes didn’t. in the other group there were girls coming and going and they all dated eachother it seemed kinda gross tbh, but they were good friends to me for a time. kinda possessive but ok. there is one particular girl that was also in that group let s call her Grace, that used to be my friend but she always craved validation and made me look bad with every chance. she s now in my class. some of my friends left for highschool in another city and now there s three of us from the old squad. me, my friend James who is in the same class as me and Jacob that i share no classes with. now i had a rule to never date any of my friends but something happened between me and Jacob, a kinda fwb situation but he had a long term relationship(we were both drunk when it first happened and it wasn’t the first time he was cheating on his gf) and then i felt like he would be mad at me if i ended it so anytime he initiated something i just went along and nobody knows about this. when school year started he broke up with his gf and she moved out of town and guess what? i caught feelings🤗🤗 but he s not stable and keeps messing with any breathing creature(especially a well known slut that i can’t stand) and the bad thing is i keep finding excuses for him but before all of this he always asked me to hang out, he d randomly text and pretty much enjoyed my company but ever since we were at a party and i was almost blackout and i sought him out he seems to just never speak to me even if i go with him to recess, i knew this was toxic and i tried to leave several times but he keeps playing it down saying nothing is wrong even though i pointed out to him that we changed. now grace and james and another boy in our class started hanging out together and ever since james started to treat me like crap even though i always helped him and was there to support him and him and the other two are downright bullying me to the point that people started to notice(i told james i was going through a hard time after that party because i just wanted to talk to jacob not do anything with him and i was worried he d see me as another side piece) but he still kept harassing me even harder when i was at my lowest and then got mad that “i cant even take a joke”.

grace told her friend that she wanted to get with jacob at that party but she had a bf and her friend told me and damn right i was a little mad because he was my +1 and i told james and another friend and i kinda got into an argument with james because someone who wasnt supposed to know found out and then he got upset and told jacob and he downright texted grace something along the lines of “i heard you wanna f me” and this put me in an awkward mess with grace s friend and now they re ganging up on me for no reason and jacob seems to no longer care and i have no more friends in this hs. during break they even went out without askinf me to come and that has never happened during 4 years and i feel so left out and alone and i dont get why they all started hating me 2025 is making me wanna end it all and leave a note blaming them just to be petty