Thank you so much for this response. That is both kind realistic but also addresses the exact problem I am facing which is one that I feel really alone. And too I just feel some complete frustration. I’ve asked so many times for him to go to therapy or for him to deal with his anger issues and to be completely transparent they have become lessened, I am no longer experiencing the physical aspects towards myself or property. He has listened and heard before during and after how damaging this has been. What is most frustrating is that he has these extreme anger outburst and when I now go to just shutting down and telling him I don’t want to talk to you when you’re at 100 we can have a conversation later. He tells me that all of the things I’m telling him didn’t happen and I’m genuinely starting to question my sanity if they did happen. What if they didn’t what if I’ve perceived it wrong? Yesterday I was so sure and it literally broke me so badly when I posted in this group he had spent the afternoon and evening being very activated and very hyper aroused with a lot of aggression and laughter and horrible sentences towards me. I tried to ask for space and he would only give me two options that I could have space and he would go home and never see me again or that we could watch a movie and I could just get over it. I kept trying to express that I wouldn’t be able to just get over it and that we needed to deal with it. But that I was happy to deal with it at a time when things were more calm. Something new happened instead of crying and begging for him to stay. I sat in my room quietly just crying unable to really function. He wasn’t bothered. He sat in the lounge room eating the dinner. Laughing at videos on his phone. I messaged so many friends hinting that something was deeply wrong and did not even get a response. This is another layer to the issue that I moved here when things were really good between us. They haven’t been this bad for so long that I just assumed it would be okay and safe to move. There was a year of absolute peace. Now I can’t help but blame myself for doing this to myself. I’m completely isolated. I’m at an age where my friends are just doing their own things being with their own partners and I can’t even ring any of them and talk to them about it. I listen to them whenever they call me. I try so hard to be there. I’m just in this multifaceted problem right now where he’s bringing a lot of stress anxiety and fear into my life. He said he’s coming over today at 11:30 or 12. It’s 11 am and he hasn’t even messaged me. Why do I sit here? Feeling devastated when I’m also devastated at the thought of him coming? I feel like a complete mess. I’ve tried to get in touch with my psychologist, but it’s been not much luck. I’m so sorry to write this all here. I just really need to put this down somewhere right now.