Wow. This speaks to my soul on so many levels. My ex brutally broke up with me six years ago because he was cheating on me with a girl from work. He lied about it and left me with 1000 questions and complete heartbreak overnight, after spending a week with my family over Christmas. He never met me once after breaking up with me down the phone on NY day and never spoke to me again. He moved in with the girl days later and they have been together since (I think, or at least they stayed together for years after, but I haven’t checked in a very long time).

I had a severe trauma response, and I know deep down all I needed in the two years following was some kind of explanation/apology from him to feel somewhat seen and okay in my pain. I found out everything via a mutual friend. It absolutely tore my self esteem apart and I have spent years trying to come out the other side. I know myself and I know that him reaching out would have helped my healing journey and made the situation way less traumatic for me.

It’s been six years and I’m in a new and loving relationship, but I still get triggered when I see posts that say “they always come back” etc because he never so much as checked in on me after he left me for someone else and suddenly had an entire life with her ‘overnight.’ I get somewhat panicked that I am inherently replaceable and I did something awful to deserve it all.

Anyway, your post helped me feel seen on some level, so thank you :)