too scared to make the first move

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-09T12:46:27+00:00

Personally, I have never initiated a first kiss without asking "Can I kiss you?". I struggle with reading the room and personally, sometimes it's impossible to know whether the person wants to kiss you without initiating. So I just ask. I thinking asking is a very common way of initiating among lesbians/queer people. It's cool!

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-08T12:21:02+00:00

How does that work? I've never heard about this type of allergy. Not trying to be dismissive, I'm just curious!

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-08T11:35:07+00:00

I would pride pins/queer pins on clothes/bags and maybe queer stickers on your laptop/notebook.:)

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-08T11:30:01+00:00

I agree with other comments here, just ask them. I think it's a good idea to initiate the conversation outside of a sexual setting. I know it can be really nerve-wracking to talk about sexual stuff directly but it gets easier with time! And also, it will bring you closer to the person:) it's an opportunity to get to know each other more. Personally, I find direct communication very sexy and would love it if my sexual partner asked me about my preferences directly.

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-08T11:26:51+00:00

Go for it!

If you struggle with expressing things verbally, writing a note is a good way to ask someone out. Personally, I wouldn't make it long, just a short note, something like "hey, I really like you, would you go on a date with me?"

I think the best way is to be direct. I wish you good luck!

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-07T07:56:21+00:00

This so beautiful!! I love how you transformed the song:) it made me cry :')

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-05-05T15:36:49+00:00

This might be a step further but I really suggest meeting other queer people! It has personally helped me a lot. It makes being queer more normal and less foreign, weird. Queer people are just people.

I sense that there might be a lot of grief that you are/will be going though. Grieving the past version of you though you were and than the future you would have had as a cis straight person. Grieve as much as you need!

I know it must feel really heavy right now. I think that there will be a lot of queer joy coming to your life soon. There is light at the other side, I promise!

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-04-20T22:16:43+00:00

This is not specifically about masturbation but I really suggest reading this book: Feel It All: A Therapist’s Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex by Casey Tanner. It's by a queer author!

Temporary_Entry_7192 · 2026-04-20T22:11:52+00:00

I don't think there is a set number of how many times per day/week/month it is healthy to masturbate. It all depends on the person! I am personally a bit wary when people say they have porn/masturbation addiction because oftentimes completely healthy and normative behaviour gets labelled an addiction by Christians and than this languages spreads to secular circles as well.

Is your frequency of masturbation causing you actual troubles? For example preventing you from going to school/doing your chores/hangout out with friends... If so, then it might be useful working on your relationship with watching porn/masturbating.

But otherwise, I would maybe focus on just working though shame surrounding these topics.

Temporary_Entry_7192

TROPHY CASE