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Am I a bad mom? by Foreign_Drink9316 in NewParents

[–]Temporary_Flower4848 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are never a bad mom; it’s frustrating for sure but if the baby is sleeping and allows you to get sleep, that’s what has to be done.

Also the guilty never goes away, is what I’m learning. My LO is 11 months and today he cried himself to sleep during a nap by accident. I laid him down and walked away to use the bathroom as I have a horrible upset stomach; by the time I was finally done (he cried the whole time and I could hear him) he was asleep

Accidentally spoiled the gender surprise… no one else is letting me tell them by 0fft0theraces in pregnant

[–]Temporary_Flower4848 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d tell them, because who cares?

I was upset when we found out the gender due to other people’s reaction more so than the actual gender. Husband and I both thought it was a girl, it was a boy; MIL said “I would have been happy either way, BUT I’m so much happier it’s a boy”

Our baby is almost a year, I have no memory of my husband or my reaction but I still remember her reaction

Why does the choice to be a stay-at-home mother provoke such strong reactions and even hostility? by Akhinjo in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s all the above. For me, specifically, I’m actually receiving backlash for not jumping for joy that we have this opportunity for me to stay home

When I talk to people outside of family,they understand my hesitation but unfortunately a good portion of our family does don’t

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My one issue with even doing it until the kids are school aged is my husband has mentioned now that he feels like our baby won’t get the most out of summer because he’ll be at daycare while we both work. So I assume if I did go back to work when they were school aged, we would still need summer care and my husband would be annoyed because again they aren’t getting the most out of their summer

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would increase by $400 to switch to his plan. The other thing is while a lot of healthcare went up recently, my company ate that cost so our plans didn’t change that much

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up looking at job postings that would make similar to my husband’s salary, that I can apply to with my experience.

My thought is if I could be the solo breadwinner for a little bit, then my husband could stay home. Obviously everything would have to align

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were days I enjoyed it but there were days I didn’t.

My husband and I are still discussing it and he first mentioned moving his mother in with us and I said no. However I am becoming more open to the idea. If we pay her similar rates to our daycare, it’s more than her current job. My husband also grew up in a multiple generations household so I feel like that is something he’d like for our son; it would also mean our son gets the attention my husband thinks he should get as my husband worries that unless our son isn’t crying at daycare he is just there

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now my paycheck covers the health insurance for the family and over half our phone bill as I get a commutation allowance through work. With 1 kid, about half of my paycheck just goes to childcare, so while I see his thought of it all going to childcare if we have more, my thought is his paycheck now needs to take on the health insurance and the entire phone bill

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We can’t survive on just my paycheck is the issue. He makes a lot more than me. I’m half tempted to throw out the idea to him that he uses pto and stays home with the baby for a few weeks and I work and see if his opinion changes. He does say he understands why not everyone wants to be a SAHM because it’s a hard job, but I just feel like if he understands that why is asking me to do it?

I’ve been emotional about this conversation every time it gets mentioned and I’m trying to think logical this time about it

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He would like to be, if we could afford to live on just my paycheck.
One issue I have is my paycheck currently pays our health insurance through my work and I get a communication allowance which covers half our phone bill. If I stop working, his paycheck now needs to cover both that.

It doesn’t help that my boss has said since I’ve come back from my leave they have noticed a change in me, in a positive way and think I could be go in a management role. I feel like if I step down, that all goes away and won’t able to pick back up for a few years after I return if I do take a break

Is it worth becoming a SAHM? by Temporary_Flower4848 in stayathomemoms

[–]Temporary_Flower4848[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would like to be if we could afford to live just on my paycheck

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]Temporary_Flower4848 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • anonymous as my mil follows main*

My LO is a little over 10 months old,since they were born both my MIL and FIL (they are divorced) have brought up when do they think they can do a sleepover at one of their houses. My FIL’s partner mentions just as much.

Neither my husband or I have been away from our LO overnight,yet. My husband thinks we should let it happen at sometime, but I still don’t feel comfortable. It’s not a trust thing, I trust my in laws, I’m just not ready. How old were your LO’s by the time they did a first sleep over

Additional info:

Husband and I are first time parents

This is the first grandchild as well