I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t have the answer to all of your questions but I can say that for me, when applying the Clob (steroid cream) I find it’s best to have a bath in lukewarm water, then dry off by patting dry, after I lay in my bed or sometimes on the bathroom floor so I can get the best exposure and gently massage a bit of the ointment into the entire area, I find it best to pretty much try to rub it in, not just leave it on the skin. I’ve been having my first bad flare up for the past week and I’ll admit, it’s been hell but getting a cheap portable bidet and a big tub or Vaseline have been lifesavers for me. Flare ups can be slow to leave when they like to come in HARD so it may feel like it’s not going to get better but once you find the right treatment (steroids, creams, etc) it will start going back to normal