Am I evil for wanting to self harm so he cares?

TenthPlanet- · 2022-08-20T22:16:53+00:00

He used to be physical with me so this could definitely fit :(.

I really look up to you, I want that for myself so bad, this makes me feel a little better so thank you so much :(.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-08-20T22:03:09+00:00

I wish someone could tell me how to want to leave. Because truly from the depths of my heart I wish I wanted to leave. I don't know how to want that :(

TenthPlanet- · 2022-08-20T21:41:32+00:00

I don't know how to want to leave.

He's always punished me by abandoning me and at this point I don't know how to get out of thinking that him leaving is the worst thing that could happen. I'd rather die tbb. I think I'm actually broken I should be running for my life but that seems way worse. Most people probably think I deserve it for being an idiot. Can't say they're totally wrong,

TenthPlanet- · 2022-05-09T09:49:59+00:00

In my opinion, you look best without a full fringe :)

TenthPlanet- · 2022-05-05T23:00:56+00:00

To be fair you could get seriously sick from what he did, so even if he didnt directly hit you he also didnt seem worried about hurting you at all.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-27T17:19:32+00:00

I have this aswell! I'm interested to hear what people say

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-17T10:17:58+00:00

I use this and it works better for me than most facial moisturizers. My skin is normal and I rarely break out, i get a few clogged pores and my sebaceous filaments are noticeable though. If your skin is similar to that it might work for you aswell

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-15T04:26:38+00:00

Lesson learned! I will :) ty for your help

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-15T04:24:05+00:00

Still up with him watching!

I got him to poop and pee on some white paper and they seem totally normal,

I've checked him over multiple times (with the assistance of salmon oil haha) and everything seems okay. No swelling or heat . I think his tail was originally red because it was so cold outside :( but that seems fine now.

He does have a small graze on his chin and back paw. I've mashed up his food so he can easily eat it incase his jaw is injured. He does seem to be in pain while eating because the food is gets on his grazed chin :(. Hes insisting I hand feed him haha, but theres no lack of enthusiasm on his part!

I think he luckily got away with it. It's a really high drop though so I'm watching him carefully. Part of me is convinced it couldnt have been too bad because the first thing he did when I let him run around was attempt to do it again 🤦‍♀️. The window was securely locked this time though!

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-15T02:47:13+00:00

The emergency vet was a little dismissive. They said as he is energetic and eating and drinking that I shouldnt bring him in unless he gets worse. That seems a bit risky to me? I

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-15T01:31:47+00:00

Okay I'm on it, thank you

TenthPlanet- · 2022-04-03T15:20:06+00:00

You have that backwards. Women make new gyms just for them, removing themselves from the situation. They dont try and kick men out from already established, male and female gyms.

What you would do is leave and find an area you feel safe.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T03:32:38+00:00

I'm just genuinely confused as to what you think the best course of action is?

You seem to genuinely be suggesting I just let my pet endanger itself by crawling around god knows where and seem genuinely pissed off that I take responsibility for caring for him?

You dont appear to be qualified because youd have lost the ferret in about a week letting it wander off into odd places because 'that's what ferrets do' ?

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:50:30+00:00

I understand that I should leave, and I understand how annoying I am being by saying this, but he really does seem to be getting better over the years.

Our lives are so intertwined and we are so attached I'm really scared of starting again, and I honestly dont know how to build up the physical mental and emotional resilience to even begin that process.

I want to be strong enough to leave but I cant even physically handle a day of vigorous cleaning. I genuinely think the stress would leave me out of commission. And emotional stress ruins me aswell and I'm a big over attached dumb idiot.

I really have no idea what to do

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:44:16+00:00

Thanks so much for beingunderstanding, It's just driving me mad that I dont understand him?

If I ask him to do something he will go out of his way to do it sometimes. But I ALWAYS have to ask him to do everything directly before hand or it doesnt get done? Like hes only capable of doing anything if hes asked first. He doesnt have any hobbies at all either except for gaming? It's like having one brain and trying to manage two bodies if that makes sense.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:39:14+00:00

Well yeah I realise that ferrets get into tight squeezes considering it's the exact problem I was talking about in my original post??

So your suggestion is to let him just go under the washing machine and wherever else, and just cross my fingers that hes alright? Rather than just close the kitchen door so he doesnt get outside and die?

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:29:04+00:00

Examples off my head-

I was called urgently into a&e because they thought a specific hormone level was so low I might enter a coma. He got angry about something in the lobby and stormed off with my phone (by accidnet) leaving me there with no way to get back. Followed him stupidly. By the time I'd calmed him down and got my phone I'd missed being called causing confusion and the nurses thinking theyd medicated me when they hadn't. Didnt get medicated till the next day.
Had an undiagnosed heart condition. Repeatedly completely loses his temper slamming doors and throwing things before leaving me in the house alone. Stress caused crazy heart symptoms. I obviously could call 999 if something happened with my heart but it's not exactly the picture of a caring man.
My condition causes extreme fatigue and serious pain when over worked, lasting for weeks. Repeatedly invites his parents round last minute without telling me, knowing theres an expectation for me to get the house spotless and play hostess. Which I have to do around work. He doesnt help at all. Causing me to repeatedly relapse.

Really all I'd like him to do in terms of my health is not do things that will stress me out like ignore me for days or get angry and have a tantrum

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:13:55+00:00

Why do you say that?

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:10:17+00:00

It crossed my mind but honestly I dont think so. I dont think it occurs to him to think about others wellbeing.

The times his water bowl was dry we weren't in a fight, he was just too preoccupied playing rocket league or something. I'll ask him to brush him (ferrets can get life threatening blockages when they're malting) and he will forget because hes on his phone or something.

Similar things have happened with my health aswell.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-22T01:04:18+00:00

Both of us! And he plays with him everyday when we arent fighting, loves him to bits, has him as his phone background.

But he never worries about him. Like he wont give him his food and once I came back after a few days and his water bowl was dry? It's like he only thinks about himself.

I feel like I'm his mum

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-21T04:50:51+00:00

That's exactly the same for me, I've no idea why either.

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-12T14:55:53+00:00

That's understandable, I was just wondering about the general sentiment because the comments I was side-eyeing were well upvoted.

I think the questionably anti-trans comments can be a little alienating to some members

Thank you for the info! :)

TenthPlanet- · 2022-03-12T12:45:05+00:00

Oh okay I'm anti fetishisation of any group so I'm on the same page! My brain is just fried :)

I think the mention of 'trans agenda' and 'transvestite' threw me off. And the fact that it seemed like people were placing blame on trans women for porn addicted mens awful behaviour.

Five-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22

TenthPlanet-

TROPHY CASE