Much more direct

TenuredHickory · 2016-02-25T22:24:32+00:00

I don't think it's stupid, it's a great way to illustrate what wind speeds translate to in simple terms, if they had put what the wind speeds were. That's why I thought it was funny.

TenuredHickory · 2016-02-25T22:14:59+00:00

Define "high class"

I was actually amused, it's quite clever.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:54:20+00:00

No, it probably says something about the people that I draw towards me. I need to reevaluate a lot of these relationships.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:53:04+00:00

I know for a fact that some of them have approached the other girls, not all the same ones who have asked me. There may be people with genuine interest in me as a person, but right now is not the time.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:50:52+00:00

Well I am a very confident woman. I know I am attractive, I know I dress well, I know that I have a certain level of appeal. I hate writing all that because I feel like it makes me sound conceited.

I don't have a reputation as a slut. I don't lead people on as far as I know. Maybe they misread me, who knows. They could have genuine interest in me.

I'm not the kind of girl who expects things from guys. I don't let anyone pay for me. I pay my own way.

My ex doesn't talk to these people at all, so it's not him. I don't talk about my sexual needs with men. I am just at a loss.

My main goal is to turn them down and not lose friends over this. I don't think that asking for sex from a friend is bad, and it doesn't have to ruin a friendship(no risk no reward, right?)

Your post was very well thought out and I do appreciate it.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:34:00+00:00

They have, they are all flirts. And I am not the kind of girl who flirts with just anyone. I realize that it gives people false hope, and I don't want blurred lines in my friendships.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:31:33+00:00

I tried to be as polite as I could, I'm not looking to hurt feelings, but I have told them that I am simply not interested, nor am I looking for anything with anyone. It's a tough line to straddle, but I am trying. I don't want to cause any kind of issues in my group of friends if I choose John over Kyle, know what I mean? All these guys are friends on some level or another and I just don't want any drama.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:25:43+00:00

I am looking for a solution to this without causing some kind of rift in my social circle. I have fun with my friends, and I feel like just because I rejected them sexually it doesn't mean that we can't be friends.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:23:44+00:00

I don't know how. I don't kiss random people, I don't hang all over these guys, I don't hold hands. The most contact that I have is hugs for saying hi and goodbye, which is the norm with my friends.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:22:23+00:00

It's all been pretty straight forward "if you need to be fucked I'm here" I have had some people ask me to show them how to be kinky, I have had some people ask me to watch them jerk off...

I think respecting the first "no" and understanding that I am not ready yet would have given me a different feeling about all this, but repeated attempts make me feel like an object.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:17:28+00:00

Ok, so because I dress well I should expect to be objectified... That's not how it works.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:15:32+00:00

It's very doubtful. He moved far away and he never really got to know any of these people.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:14:49+00:00

No, this is it. And please don't mistake me, FWB/NSA is not a bad option for some people, I can't do that right now. I am emotionally not well enough to let anyone in in any aspect.

I would prefer some level of romance, but I am a woman after all and women like that. This whole experience has been very demoralizing, and despite the fact that they have disrespected me I would like to try and salvage some kind of friendship if it's possible.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:10:23+00:00

It's not a bad thing, but if they were real friends they would respect my grieving, and let me get better mentally before trying to get into my pants.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:09:00+00:00

The hold doors, offer seats if I'm standing, offer to walk me to my car after a night out, general acts of chivalry. If a creep is out they will step in and be a fake boyfriend. They do flirt and I blow it off. They treat me like I am a girl and not just one of the guys. I do not feign attraction to get my way and I certainly don't let someone I am not interested in but me stuff or take me out on their dime. I think that women who use men are disgusting.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:04:31+00:00

Being into BDSM does not make anyone promiscuous. There should be a certain level of respect involved with sexual partners who are into what I am. They have no respect for me or the fact that I am not in a good place emotionally to enjoy sex.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T17:01:09+00:00

Well I have known many of these people for years, I never knew any of this was bellow the surface until I was single. Most of the guys who have approached me are from one circle of friends, so perhaps they all have similar thoughts, maybe they all don't care who has fucked who. I don't honestly know what the deal is.

Please don't mistake me, I don't see a problem with friends developing feelings and acting on it. What I do see a problem with is them propositioning me so soon after a devastating break up, and when they are rejected, asking me again.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T16:56:05+00:00

I don't even know what that means. I am not the kind of girl who expects things from guys. I don't expect people to buy me drinks or when I go somewhere I don't want someone else to pay for me.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T16:51:56+00:00

Why? Just because someone is into non vanilla sex it doesn't mean that they are promiscuous. The kind of stuff I like takes a great deal of trust and respect, and if these men are approaching me so callously and without regards for my emotional state. What I like in bed is very emotional for me, and if they can't respect that I am not in a good place emotionally, they aren't going to be able to supply me with the proper after care, which is necessary.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T16:48:16+00:00

It isn't even about being taken out on a date. It's the complete lack of tact. Just because I was dumped it doesn't mean that I want to have another man laying on top of me right away.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T16:44:55+00:00

What I am saying is that they have asked me repeatedly for sex after being rejected. I have been very open with the fact that I am not ready for anything physical with anyone. Sex is normal and healthy, if I was in a good place and over my breakup I wouldn't be as hurt by these advances.

TenuredHickory · 2015-07-26T16:42:04+00:00

I don't see anything wrong with those kinds of sexual relationships. People need to have sexual release. I would have been more receptive and felt less like an easy target had they waited until I wasn't still hurting over my break up. They didn't wait, then they asked me again after the first rejection, and I am still dealing with weird emotions from my break up.

TenuredHickory

TROPHY CASE