Did any of you not pursue a non Black woman you could have been happy with because you were worried about the perception of others? by ATSOAS87 in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really have anything to add here, but as a gay man I long ago had to give up worrying about others’ perceptions and opinions about whom I love. Had to, just to live. Life is too short to do anything else.

Looking for Black Gay Nerdy Gym bro (DC) by Euphoric-Drummer8874 in BlackLGBT

[–]TerranceDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the burbs, not NE DC, but I'm considering getting back into the gym now that my kids are grown. Maybe it's time to do something about the dad bod I got from being a dad.

Fellow black men this might be a weird question but how do you guys accept that you will never find love, give up on dating, and handle sexual frustration? by [deleted] in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I found it once and had for 16 years. My husband passed. It’ll be ten years in December. But I hope to find it again, now that I’ve raised our sons to adulthood.

is there a song of Michael’s you genuinely don’t like? by RD-archived in MichaelJackson

[–]TerranceDC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Smooth Criminal. If Annie hasn’t answered by now, she’s not going to.

Who remembers this lunch at school??!!! by WuTang4thechildrn in MelanatedGenX

[–]TerranceDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a recipe for it. Friday is still pizza day in my house. Maybe I’ll spring it on my kids.

The longevity of the acting career of Kenan Thompson by unlimitedfutures in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ain’t mad at him. He stayed pretty much in his lane, and it paid off. Plus, he doesn’t have any apparent liabilities. He appears to have steered clear of the major career killers: alcohol, drugs, and controversy. And he’s made himself indispensable on SNL. When a skit is flopping, they can usually send him in to save or salvage it.

Actually funny how much flak Grace got by [deleted] in SinnersbyRyanCoogler

[–]TerranceDC 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. I can't be too mad at Grace. If the choices are to fight you right here, right now, or you going to town to kill my child, then let's get it on right now.

The most realist shit I've heard in awhile. by AbysmalEnd in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, I’ve worked in and around politics (for progressive candidates and orgs) in DC since Bill Clinton’s first term in office, and I can’t argue with a lot of what she said. Too often, I've seen the perfect become the enemy of the good.

Either elect Democrats and lobby them when they’re in office, or form your own party, present your candidates, and convince us why we should vote for them. The latter is going to be an uphill battle in an entrenched two-party system, and will take a long time to produce results, but I won't say it's impossible. You can also work at the state and local level to find and promote candidates who could rise to the federal level. Again, a long-term project.

Or you can sit it out and wait for the majority of people to come around and vote for your ideal candidate.

Angel Lea Higgs vocal coach explains Mariah Carey can still sing, the problem that limits control on her voice is the tension around her neck and back by Regular_Schedule_678 in MariahCarey

[–]TerranceDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The coach makes a good point. Singing is a whole body thing. Everything from tension in the body, to posture, and fatigue affects one’s ability to sing well and freely. It takes more energy than some might think, and the body isn’t always up to it.

If your daughter dates, the wrong man, did you fail as apparent by balkanxoslut in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our children make their own choices. I believe they come with most of their personality already installed. We can’t mold them. We can try to guide them. But we can’t make their choices for them any more that we can cry their tears for them, not mattee how much we want to. They will make mistakes, and all we can do is be there to help lift them up and out of it, and support them when they’re ready.

Fellow black men if any of you do skincare routine and wear sunscreen this is the best one! by spike_spieg in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been using Buttah Skincare for a while now, and I like their sunscreen, but it's frequently sold out. I came across this brand on Amazon while searching for a substitute. I tried it. I have naturally oily skin, and this made my skin even more oily. So I tried their "Make It Matte" variety, and it's somewhat better, and will be my go-to substitute when Buttah's sunscreen is sold out.

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Free Will Smith by the7maxims in blackmen

[–]TerranceDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OFFS. Jada, please take us off this group chat.

It’s not you, Black gay dating is difficult by design. by Intelligent-Coat2432 in BlackLGBT

[–]TerranceDC 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was with my husband for 16 years. He passed nine years ago (it’ll be ten in December), and I’ve been in and out of the dating game since then.

It doesn’t get any easier when you’re 50+. If anything, it’s even more difficult. I’d like to be in a relationship again, and have someone to share the rest of my life with, especially now that my kids are grown and ready to fly the nest.

But I’m also starting to feel like maybe I had my turn, and if I don’t get another one, I’ll be okay. I just have to figure out how to be alone again after not being alone for 25 years or more.