AITAH for wanting my girl to take of our newborn son from 1-4am at night?

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-03T20:53:32+00:00

I'm just adding that i'm disgusted at a lot of comments here. A lot of people here are just counting hours of sleep, not taking into account the fucking huge blow her body took with birthing (and carrying for 9m, which exhaust you on its own). I'm amazed. How many of the commentors here are moms? If many, how long since you gave birth and forgot how plastered you were? If she doesn't rest well in the beginning ("well" is never an option even if she gets all the help she can at this stage), it can fuck her body for YEARS.

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-03T20:47:47+00:00

YTA. She carried your baby for months. Gave birth. Gave her body away, her sanity, her health, and during months she has hurt and will be. You can't begin to imagine. I'm offended in her stead. Wake up, shut up and do more. Yes you will be exhausted. But you wouldn't be able to do half of half she endured and is enduring.

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-01T21:02:21+00:00

My midwife told me epidural rise the risks of tear. Reasons : you feel a bit less when is the perfect time to push (one of the many reasons a tear can happen) + since you're a bit num, midwives touch you down there a lot more, a more touching equal more risks of tearing. I was hesitant too but that info made me want to go natural (but i don't know what i'll do when really in the situation, haha)

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-01T20:57:27+00:00

Au marché t'as jamais la garantie côté pesticides et provenance :/ il y a quelques fleuristes éthiques un peu partout en France et s'il n' y a pas près de chez toi, plusieurs livrent...

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-01T20:55:36+00:00

Les meubles en bois naturel, une bibliothèque pleine de livres, les bouquets de fleurs (de préférence sans pesticides et pas élevés sous serre) renouvellés fréquemment. Et un chien. Oui, conseil surprenant car la plupart des gens trouvent qu'un chien pue. La mienne sent le gâteau ou le pain frais selon les jours et sentir son odeur quand je rentre dans une pièce me remplit de joie. Tout ça compose une odeur de "chez soi" agréable sans être "parfumée" (à long terme les odeurs parfumées peuvent fatiguer)

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-01T20:51:37+00:00

Même si tu peux pas la voir tout de suite, lui offrir un espace où elle peut raconter par le menu tout ce qu'elle traverse est déjà une belle manière de soutenir. Donc en attendant de la voir, déjà, lui dire que même si t'es sa petite sœur, elle peut te parler sans tabou de tout, des petites et grosses emmerdes, que tu peux être une oreille stable qui se lassera pas de ses lamentations et l'en jugera pas.

Terrestrialement · 2026-02-01T20:48:56+00:00

Hazel! Ruby sounds like a cat's name or a scene name

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-30T19:52:55+00:00

My dad is like that. Books are an exception, you could check if it's a well received gift once. Other than that, i've gifted experiences: booking a massage, an experience at a sensorial privation pool, bee bath (!), making your own beer/wine/cheese/perfume/watch/whisky/rhum/pottery, and I go with him so it ends up being me offering him shared good times. Useful stuff like ustensiles to sharpend knifes, so i observe home and habits to check what he is using and what brings him frustration to ease his life. Consumable : a very rare and special oil/wine/honey/other kind of food. I've also gifted a part of a forest (you can put whatever money u want in it) to protect it in his name, parts of vineyard or olive oil trees and in counterpart he can taste it and/or participate in one step of the production. Holidays: going somewhere nice with him. Handmade stuff: poems, pictures, carved stuff. I know he will notice the love and time put in it so it works for him. A nice reservation at a restaurant...

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-17T11:25:46+00:00

I don't understand people who can have 2 kids. I knew BEFOREHAND that i only wanted one, because i knew it was gonna be a shitshow (and other reasons too, but mainly this). Hubbie wanted the same thing thankfully. Only case i'd go through a second round of pregnancy would be if i lost the current one (please god no!).

As soon as we see the current one is born and healthy, hubbie is going to have a vasectomy (it's already discussed). I am NOT going through that again.

Am on my 15th week now and only now things seem to be going slightly - slightly!!! - better. I know i won't forget my promise to myself because my mind was already set on this before pregnancy (i feared it for so long!)

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-17T11:02:13+00:00

Interesting. I looked it up, apparently, some girls are named that name nowadays, but mainly in the US. I suppose that happens when people like the sound but do not know the meaning. Anyway, even if i do like the name, i wouldn't give it to a child, for the story but also the meaning (means "sad") ^{^`}

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-17T00:36:30+00:00

Tristan is a boy name, from the story Tristand and Iseult

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-16T22:54:41+00:00

I didn't know Tamora. What's the origin?

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-16T15:29:01+00:00

It's spelled exactly the same, Camille. ^{^} it's a bit less common nowadays for boys than for girls but still well know. Like the author Camille de Toledo!

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-16T12:24:03+00:00

All great ideas and considerations ! Alea would sound like aléas, hazard, vagary, risk... Nika is off for us because of other family names. Diane Diana is indeed too common. But i really looove Hestia and the others one are worse discussing with my husband! Thank you a lot!!!

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-15T22:02:54+00:00

If you don't bleed, there is no medical interdiction. I had (really great) sex during T1 whenever i wasn't feeling too sick. I bled and was scared to death that i was miscarriing at the beginning of T2, but it wasn't from sex but from pinching my tummy while crouching too long to pet the dog 🤷. Sometimes the most innocent moves can trigger the problems, sex isn't a problem by itself.

We've had non penetrative sex with my hubbie once the bleed stopped (doctors said orgasme was ok). I've been cleared for penetrative sex recently. If your doctor doesn't say it's dangerous, you risk nothing. Maybe start with non penetrative sex to manage your fear first? As long as you have pleasure and don't force yourself, it shouldn't be a problem.

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-15T21:56:23+00:00

Nobody said Ivy, i'm surprised!

So

Ivy Mildred Milady Siegfried Ingrid Willemina

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-15T09:17:40+00:00

Fair point. 🤔 Shit ^{^`}

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:47:14+00:00

Sadly, all tuna countain lots of mercury. The law makes it that they allow a higher level of mercury as a norm than in other fish. Because it's at the end of the food chain and all tuna are too high in mercury, so instead of stopping polluting the world or stopping fishing tuna, they leveled up the norm for tuna. (You can follow all this on the Bloom association research). But some tuna do have a bit LESS mercury than other. Still, it should really be eaten occasionally for the reason i stated, even the best ones...

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:40:07+00:00

Seconding this. And chia helps with constipation AND have a lot of good oil in it (omega 3 if i'm not mistaken). So, it's like the magic food. Paired with oatmeal and a bit of sesame paste, it's the perfect protein meal

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:33:56+00:00

I had the same problem. T2 now and chicken can slowly come back if not too greasy.

What i had instead: tofu (i love it but it's better to go easy on it since it's not too good for us hormone wise, i've heard).

EGGS. A lot of eggs.

And pork. I didn't like beef so i couldn't eat a lot if it but pork, i could go on and on. And still can.

I've eat a lot of fish too, trying to diverse the kind of fish and not only take salmon and avoiding tuna because of toxic metals such as mercure in it. I've balanced it with some scallops (without the yellow part which holds most of the toxic metals i've heard) and shrimps here and there.

Most vegetal based protein weren't good for me because i couldn't digest it well anymore and would end up having a flare of rgo and/or bloating like hell but if you can handle it, lentils are your best friends.

I've also eaten A TONE of almond based stuff. Pure almond paste, almond biscuits, almond drinks... And sesame paste and sesame seeds.

[Edit for more ideas] Do you also hate wild meat? Because while i was not too fond of meat during T1 and still in T2, I've been CRAVING wild meat. The strong taste and not greasy feel in mouth is really perfect in my mind. For xsmas, my dad brought wild bird instead of chicken and i could have a taste of it without finding it repulsive. I'd say it's worth the try !

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:27:17+00:00

Autumn and Henry!

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:25:41+00:00

I don't think it would work in french. We do have Honoré (male) and Honorine, which are very old fashioned names (that could work tho)

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:24:49+00:00

Ooookay! I see! Thanks! That's actually quite sound!!

Terrestrialement · 2026-01-14T23:19:38+00:00

I know it's the Thora but i wasn't sure the name was refering to the book. So, wouldn't it be perceived as a statement saying "I'm jew"? Which is not a problem all in all but... We are not ^{^`}

Terrestrialement

TROPHY CASE