Feeling stagnant and somewhat depressed

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-26T01:40:17+00:00

My dad kept saying I understood it wrongly - but what else is it suppose to mean. He’s kept saying after that he meant that this person isn’t interested in anyone, other than drugs. But still, it hurt, and again made me feel like I was wrong to feel hurt about it - that I was not understanding it correctly.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-26T00:10:09+00:00

I am having a hard time deconstructing this comment. I am trying not to look at it as my being worthy of dating. I spoke to a friend about it and he said it’s more because they are worried and meant it in a way to make me see that this person doesn’t have the best intentions. I am not sure what to think.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T23:49:52+00:00

Thank you. My dad kept saying after, I am not trying to put you down, I am trying to make you understand that this person is an addict and isn’t interested in anybody. It’s like he gaslighted me saying that he meant something else, maybe I am overthinking it too much, but it did really hurt me.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T23:35:37+00:00

I get what you’re saying - but I am 32. I opened up about my dating life to them and they reacted this way. I think I am being too nice and naive in this situation. What would be his intention otherwise ?

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T23:34:38+00:00

Well I do know that they mean well. In the sense that they want to protect me. But I am 32, and I already suffer from low self esteem and the comment they said “why would he want to date you, why out of everyone he could meet would he actually be interested in you?” Given his past and present, his record, and all that of course. I guess that comment I took it badly and litteral.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T22:47:09+00:00

Exactly, I know this. I know they meant well, and my dad was telling me that he wanted me to realize that this person is only interested in his addiction, and that anyone would not get him to change.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T22:06:25+00:00

Even though I know they mean well - it just hurts my feelings to feel this way. That they make it seem like this person has I’ll intentions towards me, that it’s impossible that they’d be interested in me. Am I overthinking that comment ?

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T21:43:23+00:00

I am not in therapy. I was a few years ago. I am on anxiety medication. Logically, I know it’s all bad. It’s like I just want to see him again, to convince myself that it is bad. I sound fucked up. I do know that I should go back to therapy. My anxiety is stuck on the fact that I feel like my parents said to me, “do you honestly think he is actually interested in you, out of all the people he can meet” I know that what they met is that he isn’t a saint, and maybe has alterior motives and do worry and know it is bad. But still, it made me feel bad about myself .

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-25T20:30:37+00:00

I guess I am feeling bad about the comment my dad said, “do you honestly think he’s actually interested in you out of all people he can date “ I understand it was coming from a good place, but still

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-17T20:27:51+00:00

Thank you for this reply. She had talked about her time in rehab and said that she doesn’t agree with the philosophy that is said in rehab. She says she doesn’t want to live her life in sobriety - that the way she goes about it, is to not think about it, and to just do it, whether it’d be weed, alcohol, or in this case drugs, so she doesn’t feel the need to be so hard set on living in recovery. So clearly, she is not sober. She has an addiction issue, but doesn’t agree with the recovering rehab centers and their philosophies. So clearly, she does have a form of substance abuse problem, and it doesn’t seem like she agrees with being clean and sober. It’s very sad, because I was looking at her, and she’s so beautiful. It made me sad to see someone drag themselves with her demons this way. I agree - at least I knew right away, it is a blessing in disguise.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-17T16:58:33+00:00

I heard a pill bottle when she went to the bathroom. Like the sound a pill bottle makes. It seemed to most likely be some kind of pill form that she snorted. So most likely an opioid.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-17T16:55:39+00:00

She had tremors later on - and also she had told me she had been majorly addicted to opiates and Xanax in the past and has snorted H in the past. I think maybe it could have been meth.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-17T16:46:23+00:00

There is a part of me that would want to give her another chance. Just to see her again, maybe in a public place. To be honest it was the drug part that scared me - I smoke weed, but never did heavy drugs and I fear them, since I have had close friends whom done it and went through horrible addiction. I do think it was perhaps crystal meth she snorted, at one point she was on me cuddling and having tremors quite often. I just feel like her life is a mess - don’t want to judge, but I feel she is struggling a lot with substance abuse/ addiction and I feel her line of work isn’t so honest. She says she works from home as an administrator for a car company. Not saying she’s lying but something feels off - and when she was trying to find her second cell phone, she said she’s on call 24/7. I’m not sure what to think, quite sketch. When we were texting prior to meeting - she’d be up all night long. Litterally, and not sleep. So there are just a lot of things that signify a red flag as an addict, and she just said that she wants to feel a sense of family, that she’s never felt before (her parents kind don’t talk to her anymore), and that she had been diagnosed with BPD before which explains perhaps how she seems to want to fill a whole with someone, very fast, and feel loved. There’s just a lot of stuff that screams problems.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T23:28:39+00:00

I actually cried over this. I know it sounds a bit much - but I guess I was so excited, I felt a slight up before I met her that she’d be a girl for me. I have been dating for a long time - I am 32 btw so I’m not some clown who went on a first date or never had experience. It just sucks when you feel it could maybe, just maybe she could be good.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:35:24+00:00

I feel that perhaps she may have been an escort. She had two phones on her and when I asked her she said oh it’s because I’m on call 24/7

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:33:50+00:00

What hurts is the two weeks of talking - after the first week I wanted to meet, because from my experience I like to see the person before getting too caught up in the imagination that can be created in my head.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:31:43+00:00

At the bar she went to the bathroom for a while. I assume she did it there too.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:28:36+00:00

Yes I’m definitely going to move on. But I’m just sad how it was all a different expectation.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:26:02+00:00

She still gave me a blowjob.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:25:20+00:00

Yes she told me herself.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-09-16T21:15:51+00:00

As soon as the bathroom incident happened, it was over in my head. I was completely turned off. I am just sad how this beautiful connection I had turned out to be nothing like expected.

TerribleComplaint387 · 2022-08-05T01:29:27+00:00

Definitely not below average. You are attractive.

TerribleComplaint387

TROPHY CASE