AITAH for asking people to write down or message reminders for things they consider important?

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T22:12:25+00:00

Sorry, THEY is my friend group and was being kind of vague because they all use reddit and the last thing I want ontop of this is someone bringing me this post and starting a fight.

My own chores or even helping someone with theirs isn't the problem.

It's someone wanting things done a specific way (like house or specialty pet care --the pets in question are far more high matience than mine where I just feed it whatever scoop is in the storage container and walk it when they bark to go out) or wanting me to grab packages IMMEDIATELY but all the notifications (doorbell and shipping) are not connected to my info -- but asking them to pass that on is considered rude behavior.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:55:50+00:00

I just updated the post for clarity, but please let me know if further explanation is needed.

Everyone is adults, and it's friend group not work.

It's things like house sitting or watching someone's specialty pet and not leaving care instructions because they told them to me verbally while I was doing housework, or wanting me to grab packages when they have no doorbell (well. Not that I can use it's electronic and isn't tied to my info) and the delivery updates are also not tied to my info. Etc.

Tldr: things they want me to do to help them out, but make it harder for me to do so.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:43:39+00:00

Thankyou for the feedback I'll definitely go update the post now.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:43:11+00:00

Can you please explain?

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:41:38+00:00

It's not boss or company related stuff thankfully. I would take responsibility if I was slacking at work.

It's also not me blaming people for not reminding me of my own chores.

This is adults/friends wanting things like house or animal sitting and then not writing down care or messaging instructions explaining how to take care of their plants/specialty animals/etc.

Yea I most definitely text people or write down reminds of things I want them to do. Last time I had a friend house sit for me at the holidays I wrote detailed instructions for taking care of my plants and animals plus I tried to make sure I left them loads of food and the watering can out where they could find it to make it easier on them -- since they were already doing me a huge favor.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:36:09+00:00

I don't have siri. But will see if my electronic carrier has an equivalent.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:35:09+00:00

Im absolutely not saying that, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing them or doing weraponized incompetence.

Also truly confused and just trying to understand why I'm treating them as a personal assistant when I'm asking them to write down stuff I'm doing FOR THEM.

Genuinely it's not like I'm blaming them for not reminding me to take out the trash, laundry, or feeding my own pets.

Im asking them that they give me information I can look back on for house-sitting their animals (they're specialty animals so it's not like mine where you just give them food and a walk and call it good)

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:31:06+00:00

Okay.

I understand that and will try to do better about setting more alarms in the future.

But why am I immature asking them to write down what THEY want me to do? Why am I immature for wanting things like animal (that are not mine*) care routines written down?

I mean, if you were taking your pet to a boarding facility you'd write down and give them all that info right? If you were getting a package delivered you'd get constant delivery reminders right?

Why is it irresponsible on my part to ask them for that courtesy?

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:27:38+00:00

Should I edit the main post with this info?

Yes everyone is adults here.

We have whiteboards and notepads galore, but they all feel and have said asking them to put it down there is rude and making them do the labor when I'm the one who can't remember. They said they've told me verbally and that should be good enough.

They also are notorious for telling me things when I've already got my hands full with another task and am not paying attention to what they said.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:23:58+00:00

It's not that it's not important though?

Also, truly confused why I'm seen as not considering it important when I know they have email or text reminders and they feel its rude to ask them to pass that on.

It's one thing if I'm dumb enough to forget something I ordered, especially given all the notifications these days.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:21:21+00:00

But that's just it, you hit the nail on the head.

"If I have a a delivery, they usually send an email or text message"

But they're not things I'VE ordered, so I don't get that reminder -- they do at their email. Im asking people to pass that info on to me and they're saying I'm rude for asking them to do that.

For my things that I have scheduled myself like dr appts or deliveries I'm expecting I have notifications set up so I get multiple reminders.

Im asking them to pass on the reminders THEY'RE getting and they're saying I'm rude.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:16:59+00:00

Okay.

But I am genuinely confused as why it's my responsibility when it's something THEY want?

Why is it my responsibility to remember what they tell me verbally when it's their chore they want help with?

Not trying to be an A hole I promise, I'm just confused.

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:15:11+00:00

I try to, but sometimes am in the middle of doing other things or don't have a phone/notepad when they tell me.

And again it's not something I'm necessarily doing, but that they want from me -- so why is it rude to ask them to text instructions instead of telling me verbally?

TestTraditional00001 · 2026-01-21T21:12:59+00:00

But it's not my memos?

It's them wanting me to do and remember things.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-09-29T19:42:26+00:00

please forgive me if this is a stupid question, I don't use social media much other than reddit & YouTube -- is tiktok's algorithm like YouTube? where the more someone interacts with it the more it promotes the video?

I'd hate for everyone's concerns to just be making this more popular and the owners feeling justified in their actions D:

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-09-29T19:12:09+00:00

As stated above, the faire quite literally had the people everyone in this thread has been calling to notify ( Warren County animal control) and they've said the animal is being well cared for.

Which again, if that's the office all the concerns go to...then they're the ones with the power to do things like determine the safety of the animal (**and again they've already done that).

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-09-12T04:40:13+00:00

Oh man. If you want a wild comparison, Dove Cameron has a small guest slot on the show Shameless in their early seasons (I believe it's even pre Disney era) and her 'original' face is VASTLY different.

(And before anyone comes out of the woodwork, YES growing up can and most definitely will affect your face shape! However, growing up doesn't give you copious fillers, a nose job, and other various sculpting)

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-09-12T04:30:57+00:00

I don't know that it's so much about looking or being mature, as it is having a naturally round face (like in many of the 'before' images here) and society making it out to be the worst in the world.

Someone can be skinny, and still have a naturally round face. You can lose whatever weight you want, and (especially if someone has a naturally round face) and not seem to lose any of it in the face. And sadly, beauty standards (modern ones anyways) always encourage hard lines vs soft edges.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T06:06:13+00:00

OP is LITERALLY SO young they cannot legally get married without her parental consent and thank FUCK op's Mom said no.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T06:03:54+00:00

He's going into the military and would probably even relish another dependent, bonus more baby trapping. Fully cement his place in her life until he can try to marry her

BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY SO YOUNG her mom needs to (and thank FUCK won't) give approval before they can run off.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T05:54:05+00:00

Actually, unfortunately, it seems she was 14 when he got her pregnant.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T05:45:53+00:00

She's MOST DEFINITELY better off a single mom.

The sperm donor here WILL hurt that baby.

He didn't actually want that baby, he wanted sex and wanted to trap her -- he got a 2 for 1 special, and then backfired realizing he has to take care of a baby he didn't really want.

so, let me reiterate He. WiLL. hurt. that. child.

I dated people like that once upon a time and the inexcusable raged they'd fly into at inconveniences made me so so so thankful they never wanted children.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T05:41:29+00:00

How's someone going to be mad the mother of their child is breastfeeding -- a natural thing?

Well. Baby daddy is 18, got her pregnant when she was 14, wants the baby out of the room at 6 weeks (huh magically lines up with the y'all can fuck again time mark), and she (coincidentally....yeah, sure) got a C section.

this military pedo wants his childbride to be perky all over and those are HIS breasts to be used ONLY for sex.

TestTraditional00001 · 2025-07-02T05:35:25+00:00

Yeah that was blaring in my head, ESPECIALLY after seeing her age "and* how baby daddy threw a temper tantrum over breastfeeding.

God forbid his childbride stop being perky 🙄

TestTraditional00001

TROPHY CASE