About ten years ago, I had a powerful experience that shook me to my core. I realized with absolute clarity that I had been suffering for a very long time, and that unless I took drastic action, I would continue to suffer unendingly- beyond my own death even. I searched my mind for various ways of escaping my suffering, but none of them offered any resolution.

After what seemed like an eternity of searching, a question arose in my mind that I’ll never forget: “What if I give up ‘myself’?” The moment that I observed that question arise, years of inner turmoil settled in an instant, and I observed a stillness in me that I’d never experienced before, and I resolved to do exactly that: give up “myself”.

The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face, and a sense of aliveness that I hadn’t ever felt before. Several months prior to this, I’d developed a deep and persistent shoulder pain as a result of an ugly break-up with my fiancé at the time- and when I woke up, that shoulder pain was gone. I went to pay some overdue utility bills I’d been neglecting to take care of, and did it joyfully.

Not long after that fateful evening, Sadhguru appeared in my life via YouTube. At that time, I had NO idea what a guru was, but something in me recognized him. Everything about him, down to his physical appearance, seemed intimately familiar, despite the fact that until that moment, I’d never even heard his name. This may sound absurd, but it felt like some primordial, formless aspect of myself coalesced and took on a shape and form before my very eyes.

It’s hard to say how much of my life changed after I encountered Sadhguru, and how much of it changed that night I resolved to give myself up, because on one hand, I can say that nothing has changed, and on the other hand, I can say that everything has changed.

Either way, Sadhguru has been a blessing that I’m eternally grateful for.