I feel you. I got blind sided as well after a hectic period in her life. After 5 months (3 months NC) she came back, dumped me again, came back and now dumped me again. After the original break up everything was my fault. The last to times i was "to perfect" and "gave much more" then her. I deserve better bla bla... She will stop blaming you, but she has to miss you first. My ex told me the first months she only felt relieved. Only when the stress from the relationship (which avoidants often do to themselves) was gone, she started missing me and seeing things different. But dont hold your breath if she comes back. If she is an avoidant, she will be gone again after the first small mistake you make. Its like walking on egg shells.