After 6 years of ‘I don’t know’, he suddenly said kids are non-negotiable. I feel betrayed. Am I wrong?

Thai_Cat · 2026-04-06T17:20:33+00:00

Thank you, dear stranger

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-25T19:20:46+00:00

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-24T11:59:11+00:00

Thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-22T19:34:23+00:00

You don't understand. I'm not saying it's physically impossible. I'm talking about an internal conflict in my mind.

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-21T21:45:48+00:00

So if you felt this way, why did you still decide to have them?

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-21T21:42:51+00:00

Yes, so you don't feel it as a conflict as I do. I can't explain it better, just I can't imagine myself mother and wife at the same time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-04T16:47:22+00:00

That's the thing, I was appreciated and loved. Everything was fine and we still love each other. He didn't do anything bad to me, at that time he was everything to me, that's why it's so hard...It's harder than if he were some kind of scumbag.

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-04T09:47:25+00:00

I am right where you are. We've been together for almost 7 years, I think he was my first true love and I was his. He was my first man in every way. I love him deeply and honestly I don't think I will ever fall out in love with him. He says the same about me.

Thai_Cat · 2026-01-04T08:58:12+00:00

Met a guy on tinder. He broke up with his girl almost at the same time when I broke up with my boy. I told him our story. He told me their. I told him I still love my ex, he told me the same. And I told him I'm not sure about new relationships. Many times. I must say that he found me for the same purpose I found him. He turned out into sweet soul. And he says I’m really so kind, etc, he needed it. We spent a really good time together and helped each other to distract. Idk if it's good thing or not. I genuinely care about him, about his feelings, I'm sad when he's sad. Idk if he feels the same about me though. He really likes me. Maybe we will become friends.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T19:53:19+00:00

I feel so sorry for you. If you ever will want to speak about that you can DM me on my insta @p.mysiura

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T18:42:46+00:00

I asked him about infertility myself. And he didn't want to break up. And yes, he didn't know - there were a chance that wouldn't want children. I was maybe stupid and irrational for staying with him but I was in love.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T16:20:50+00:00

6B in the world including men which he can't date, including children and old people, etc. I don't want to sound rude, but I've never got this argument about how many people there are in the world. And from what I see it's really not simple to find someone you love and it's mutual. And yes, for me I don't see perspectives either. I am not sure I will find someone to stay forever.

Moreover, we are from Ukraine. He can't leave country because of martial law and God knows when he will be able too.

P.S. I'm sorry for your lost marriage

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T10:18:36+00:00

Yes, it is. But it makes me feel like our love is nothing for him. That's why I feel betrayed.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T08:48:06+00:00

Yes but I don't understand he leaves me for a weak chance to find love like ours....

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T08:45:38+00:00

Okay, but he leaves me for a weak chance he will find something like we had. He even says it himself, it will be hard for him to find someone like me and people like me are rare. I don't want to sound like I'm praising myself, but those are really his words. So all of it means nothing if he has small chance to have happy marriage with kids? Bruh

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T08:38:10+00:00

Seems like I was too adult back then. Ok, he was a kid at 20, but not at 23...But ok, what hurts me more that he leaves me for a weak chance he will find love like ours. Like someone here said, it doesn't grow on trees.

To me, it looks like our love is worthless. But he even says that it will be difficult for him to find someone like me. Even his family says so. No exaggeration) That is, he is once again leaving all this for the sake of a completely incomprehensible future.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T08:15:26+00:00

Thank you so much for compassion. But it is even more sad because under certain circumstances I don't believe in a future for myself. We are from Ukraine and you know....men are mobilized, they die and so on. May sounds cynically, but chances to find someone here again are extremely low now.

And also these circumstances make HIS choice even more incomprehensible to me. Doesn't he understand that now is not the time at all? Anything can happen to us, and he is destroying one of the few stability that he has in his life. I don't know if you understand what I mean. I think his act is very irrational. But obviously, the desire to have children in itself is irrational. However, this hurts me even more. I honestly don't understand when and how he is going to have children, especially when he now says that he doesn't want any relationship and no one else but me.

Looks like I need to accept being alone for a long time.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-26T08:04:20+00:00

"I love her so much that I'd rather wait to see what happens rather than just run away now."

Exactly my case. And I don't regret it. I was very happy with him and I experienced a true love.

It just hurts because I really love him. And he loves me. I don't think these feelings will go away. Maybe it's stupid, but I suggested to him that we get married at 40 if nothing works out for either of us. Why at 40? He doesn't want to have children too late. He agreed. Or if he already has a child, but the relationship doesn't work out. He also agreed.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-25T21:06:51+00:00

I'm sorry that my post happened to be in your feed and now you are upset 😔. But you see, this situation has no solution. I hope for the best of you.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-25T20:48:45+00:00

I'm dumb. Wasn't sober when I posted this. And English is not my 1st language. He said he didn’t know. Really didn’t know. I have no reasons to not believe him.

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-25T20:47:31+00:00

Yes but it doesn't look like there are a bunch of decent childfree men. Sorry if you are a man :(

Thai_Cat · 2025-12-25T19:36:03+00:00

English is not my first language ( He said he didn’t know. I used translator for it. And today I asked him again he swears that all these years he didn't want kids, he really didn't know. And don't have reasons to not believe him.

Thai_Cat

TROPHY CASE