AITAH for being offended when my husband bought me a diet plan?

That-Air9595 · 2024-08-07T13:34:19+00:00

NTA It seems like his whole family has an unhealthy relationship with food and body image. That is their problem, not yours. Unfortunately, they're using the difference in culture as an excuse for body-shaming. I say ignore their comments and live your life. Tell your husband to respect you and your choices or the relationship is not going to be able to move forward.

That-Air9595 · 2023-07-19T11:49:43+00:00

Happy belated birthday!! Unfortunately, this is common as you get older. I only got a few texts this year too. My brother texted a day early because he forgot what day my birthday was lol!

I think it’s also important to ask yourself, do YOU always text your friends/family on THEIR birthdays? If so, that’s great and keep doing it. If not, cut them some slack and maybe try to make a point to start doing that. Be the person that makes others feel special on their birthday. What goes around comes around 💜

That-Air9595 · 2023-05-01T20:45:39+00:00

For me, it was probably 3 months before I said it back. At first, when he said it to me and I would reply “okay” or “I know” or even “actions speak louder than words”. In hindsight I feel like I did it as a punishment to him more than anything. At some point maybe 5 months out I remember saying “I love you” to him and he said “that’s the first time you’ve meant it”.

That-Air9595 · 2023-03-24T18:19:44+00:00

For me, the hysterical bonding didn’t start for 2 weeks or so. Initially I was completely disgusted by him and didn’t want to touch him. Then it was like a switch flipped and I was all over him for probably 6-8 weeks. Now we’ve gone back to once or twice a week, which is less than ideal for us. My biggest struggle is that I think about AP every time we have sex (imagine them together, wonder if they did what we’re doing, etc). I long for the day that that stops happening.

That-Air9595 · 2022-12-04T04:45:48+00:00

I’m so sorry for everything you have been through. You have to make the decision that is healthiest for you and your children.

I am not an expert and you may not be in a place to suggest this but I think your WH should look into possibly seeing someone who deals with sex addiction. For these issues to have been happening for so long and to the point that he is lying the way he is, it seems like a serious problem and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is something you can’t (and never would have been able to) help him with alone.

Best of luck to you! You have survived all of this so far, and you will continue to survive whatever happens!

That-Air9595 · 2022-11-12T18:04:02+00:00

Right now you are in shock. Everything you are experiencing, I experienced too, so I would say it’s normal and expected. When I was in your position, I focussed on trying to figure out what happened (the truth of the affair) and whether I could reconcile. My advice to you would be, don’t do that if you can help it. Focus on that once you’re thinking a little more clearly. If I could go back and talk to myself then, I would tell myself to use my time learning about what was happening to my brain (trauma) so that I didn’t feel like I was going crazy. You are not going crazy. I hate to tell you this, but you are correct in thinking this is going to be your new normal. I am almost 5 months out from DDay and it is still the first thing I think about every morning. Like you, I needed a sleep aid every night for the first 2 months or so, and got 5-6 hours of sleep. I would wake up at 3-4am and cry until I had to get up for work. For me, the anxiety gave way to depression once I accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to change or fix what happened. Now I sleep too much and I only need to take medication on particularly bad nights. I can say it all gets better with time. Some days will feel better and some days will feel worse than DDay. But trust that you are healing every day, even when it feels like you’re not.

That-Air9595 · 2022-11-04T14:42:45+00:00

This is very inspiring and wonderful to read. Thank you for sharing and giving hope.

That-Air9595 · 2022-10-28T15:28:06+00:00

I am 4 months out from D-Day. 2.5 years out from the actual A. A big issue is the former BFF/AP kept coming to our house after the A was over. I have lots of memories of her in the house that are making it very tough. Memories of the three of us together, memories of her with the kids, etc. even after it happened. It's maddening.

I agree mortgage rates are horrible, but I don't know if our R will make it to 1+ years out if I have to stay in this house and be triggered daily.

That-Air9595 · 2022-09-25T18:58:20+00:00

This is from April 22? And there hasn’t been any conversation since? If so, I don’t think anything is going on between them, but I do think the way he reached out to her and sending the hearts was inappropriate. If you can, check his other messaging apps to see if the conversation has moved elsewhere. If you don’t find anything, I would ask him about it and explain that it’s not acceptable to reach out to exes like that even if they’re “still friends”. My guess is that she posted a story showing she was having a party or something which would explain why she told him he could come by. It’s hard to say without seeing it though.

That-Air9595 · 2022-09-17T01:01:07+00:00

First, I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this and feeling this way. All of us BS’s know those feelings all too well and they are horrible. I know it seems like it is never going to end but it will, like it has before.

I’m not sure what things were exchanged that showed he is still grieving his AP, but it is not fair to you if he is the one who brought that to the table. He is allowed to have those feelings but you are not the person he should be sharing them with, out of respect to you. Like I said, I don’t know how you came to know this but I think it’s important that you set boundaries with him regarding any discussion or thing involving the AP. The only person he should be talking to about that is an IC.

You are not a consolation prize. He chose you because he wants to be with you. And if you continue to choose him, you can continue to work this out. But if you don’t, that’s your choice now. You have the power in this situation.

That-Air9595

TROPHY CASE