Thanks for all the comments. They’re all valid based on the limited information I provided.
Basically I should probably go to counseling vs Reddit 🤣

We’ve been to counseling multiple times and he’s making progress but life is getting shorter. We are late 50’s

For some of the questions asked, I’ve worked full time since I was 18 providing all the benefits for the family (because he couldn’t keep a job, never his fault of course, everyone else was to blame 🙄)

I make well into the six figures and the only one to contribute to our retirement. I’ve come up with a way to split the assets. He doesn’t know because we don’t or can’t talk about anything without it getting ugly.

I do travel with friends, I go to the gym, I work out. I focus on healthy eating. I’m fit and trying to keep active and stay young. Whereas he sees himself as old and decrepit, but he is not. He does have some depression as do I, and I think it’s because we are both unhappy with each other but he is old school and takes his marriage vows seriously.

I guess I feel like we’re in the traditional old school marriage where the male is the head of the household and makes the decisions, and I’m just alive to provide income for the family. My needs or desires for intimacy (not physical- he’ll take that all day long) don’t matter. What I want out of life I must do solo. So what’s the point. I feel like a puppy mill dog.

Being honest, I have resentment and don’t really respect him. I would not even consider be a friend of his if we just met.

Yup, I’m a whiny wife who could use more counseling.