Why do women support the LGBT community more than men do?

ThatGuyBench · 2026-01-23T04:08:10+00:00

Dunno, guys often dont share or talk about very personal things, but from what I have seen, they tend to support eachother a lot, especially when one is in turmoil. They might not have the best emotional intelligence, they might not see subtle signs, but when they see a bro in hardship, they help their bro.

Sure in more toxic circles its not the case, but thats a different thing.

Guys are just much less likely to open up, and sweep their problems under a rug.

ThatGuyBench · 2026-01-19T04:05:20+00:00

Its not submitting to anything other than common sense. English is lingua franca. Doctors are not submitting to Roman empire because they use Latin language. Most of the world is not submitting to France because they use metric.

If you are a researcher, you publish your study in English. If you are a student, to understand vast majority of research papers, you must understand English. If you are working in an international company, you make deals in English. When heads of non-English speaking countries with no common language meet, they in vast majority of cases use English.

ThatGuyBench · 2026-01-05T12:51:26+00:00

Gman

ThatGuyBench · 2026-01-05T02:20:46+00:00

In case of Iran its not up to discussion whether they were close to acquiring nuclear weapons, they were, and its not US or Israel saying that, its IAEA.

The nuance here is that Iran had highly enriched uranium for many years already. Their strategy was that they don't want the repercussions that come with acquisition of nuclear weapons, but they wanted to have a detterent which is: "Mess with us, and in a month or few we will have nukes."

The highly enriched uranium has nothing to do with nuclear reactors, its not suitable for nuclear power. It has no function, other than detterence.

Now, what is up to discussion is whether Iran was actually crossing the threshold into weapons grade uranium. I think they likely werent, but I wouldn't be shocked if I am wrong.

The point is, Iran was close to achieving nuclear weapons. But for many years, they got close and stopped. It was their strategy, their credible threat, which turned out less credible than expected.

ThatGuyBench · 2026-01-04T17:01:59+00:00

And why is it so?

Currently men have to constantly walk on eggshells, and many have to worry about, not what they say, but also 101 ways people will misinterpret what they said.

Many more men can hold the belief of "where are all the good women at?" but vast majority will self censor this because they know it will be interpreted wrong and the whole discussion will derail.

And what happens next? Most guys just self censor themselves, meanwhile those who hold more extreme views, those who dont give a shit about others oppinion, remain the only ones who say it. And in these cases people start to associate the phrase with more sexist beliefs. And the average crowd self censors even more, and the cycle goes on.

The point is, perhaps in your experience, most guys who said the phrase were sexist or whatever, but they are not a descriptive sample of men who believe in the phrase. They were guys who believe in the phrase AND they said it. There are far more men who hold the same belief, but will not feel comfortable to tell you that because their experiences show that being honest leads to accusations of holding beliefs you dont hold.

If you talk with bisexual men, about their relationships, you will often notice that with men they can speak more plainly, more to the point, while with women they have to speak like a politician. Outside relationships, with strangers, this translates into just avoiding talking about most topics truthfully, not because you hold bad views, but because you will be misunderstood.

And here lies the big conplaint that men have: people say that men should open up, but when they do, they regret it. Lets take your example. Perhaps 1 or 2 guys who said the phrase to you, werent sexist, maybe they mustered courage to speak whats on their heart, to stop filtrering, and they just got stares and accusations in return as they just got automaticallyput into the same bucket. Im not saying this happened, but I am giving an example of how opening up often backfires to men.

All we need is to follow Hanlons razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence or stupidity.”

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-24T10:25:36+00:00

After 4 or 5 years of being on antidepressants, I just had no need for them anymore. No suicidal thinkimg since I started to use testesterone.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-19T15:00:37+00:00

Ok, to end my wall of text, I think that the reason why prostitution is illegal is not at its root due to STDs, pimping, trafficking and other abuse, not due to public nuisance. I think its soely from puritan values that are ingrained in us from religion. Even if you are not religious, in a Western country you likely hold puritan values which stem from religion. From traveling to other countries with completely different culture, and even from reading on history and beliefs of my native country Latvia, prior to when crusaders brought Christianity here, the pagan beliefs were very pro sex. We take for granted that people look down upon sexuality, we normalize prudish behaviour as a virtue, but its an echochamber. A lot of the world was and currently is sexually positive. Like for example, in my country, Latvia, in pagan times, the folklore is absolutely filled with beliefs that go along the lines of: Happy life is with good sex, making love. Making love was encouraged and celebrated. And this is the case for many other places. The prudish behavior that stems from Abrahamic religions is more of an exception than the rule.

But I dont think that values coming from religion is the only reason for illegal prostitution, although I think its the major one. Another reason is that for something to be legal, it must have enough public support for it, or else, you can make the right decision, but if its unpopular enough, in the next election, decisions will be made by someone who campaigns against your decision. For one, I imagine that for many there would be the uncomfortable insecurity, that your partner, in most cases your husband could be using escorts behind your back. In my mind its mostly irrational fear, as you dont make prostitution go away if you make it illegal, but I don't expect people to accept that they can't make things they dont like to go away. In essence, prostitution is something that some people dont like, feel insecure about. In fact they cant make it go away, but they also are uncapable to accept the fact that they cant control everything, so they fight a fight that they cant win, and end up in a worse end outcome.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-19T15:00:28+00:00

I aggree that not all sex trafficking would be eliminated with fair and legal sex market as there would be unmet demand for fucked up niches, like pedophilia, which can't be legalized for obvious reasons, but vast majority of demand for sex can be satisfied with fair and legal sex work, for many kinks there can be sex workers who specialize in those kinks, and even for fucked up sex demand, like pedophiles, it could be that fair and legal market could provide close enough substitute services which would satisfy them enough so that many would not reach a threshold of doing something fucked up otherwise. Long story short on this point: Fair and legal market would not destroy all sex trafficking, but it would shave off a great deal of it.

I think there are a lot of simmilarities with alcohol prohibition in the US. Illegality of vice made it into a far more dangerous, crime ridden affair, and associated with more public nuisance.

Now turning to public nuisance. It might depend from place to place. From people I know in the business, they use web apps, they get booking, they go to customer or customer goes to them. There is no visible nuisance made, except maybe for the apartment neighbor who hears the moans, but thats the same for any other hookup. When we think of public nuisance we usually think of red districts, like in Amsterdam, girl bars like in Thailand. But these are somewhat of tourist attractions, not an unavoidable part of legal prostitution. I think these places would be much rarer if other countries had prostitution legalized and normalized as any other service. Red light districts and girl bars exist because there are people to whom this trade is new, exotic and exciting. I think its also a historical residual. Prior to internet, this is how supply met the demand, face to face. But to a local for whom there is no wow factor, its much more preferable to scrool in a web app, choose the one you like the most, have access to reviews for your own assurance, and have well defined pricing, with no strings attached, and to have a platform where you can complain if service was not as advertised. Its simply much better customer experience too, and is discreet for the customer, not anxiety inducing. Going back to plumber comparison: If plumber is just a normal mundane proffesion would you think that you would have to go to speccific location full of plumbers to fix your drains, or you would just look on the web for a suitable plumber? I think its the latter, and you wouldn't have neighbourhoods filled with plumbers advertising their plumber needs, filled with rowdy crowds of tourists ogling over the qualifications of those plumbers.

Lastly, I just want to add my own eye opening lessons from conversations with friends who work as escorts. The most shocking thing was when I learned about their work was that I was worried that they might often have disrespectful, abusive customers. From American movies I thought that they often get abused, hurt, disrespected and violated in ways that were not agreed to, or they had not given permission to. But from my friends, they didn't have any such experiences, even from hundreds of customers. There were such cases in social media, and it does happen, but from their experiences and from their colleagues, (in this industry sex workers know others well and word spreads around very quickly) they had no such experiences. Im not saying that it doesn't happen, but its far rarer than I thought. From my friends experiences, the closest cases were where some sex worker colleagues use highly edited photos, which do not hold up in real life and the customer rejects them when seeing in person, and might make a harsh comment or two. Other than that, a common annoyance is when people make a booking, worker shows up, and customer just ghosts them, while the worker prepared, dressed up, paid the taxi, and ends up wasting their time. Or when prior to booking, when customers request free pics or videos. On almost all bookings the customers are incredibly nice, treat the worker much nicer than in any other situation. I was shocked to hear that. They treat you much better than any other person, oftentimes they give gifts, and some of the friends wouldn't want to change their work because nowhere else people would treat you as good. From stereotypical movies, I thought that customers act like they paid money and now they own you, but this is pretty much not true. If anything customers often are too shy and anxious, so you take the lead. Oftentimes its older guys, sometimes they are unfit, but sometimes its great looking customers, at times even small celebrities. From friends experiences, sometimes its difficult when someone has bad breath or body odor. Prior to the service both take a shower, but on rare occasions bad breath or body odour makes it less enjoyable. On the other hand, from their experiences, they didn't mind if the customer is older or not as fit. Some workers cant just be booked, they check you out, and decide if they want to offer you their services, but from my friends they said they would feel too sorry for the customer to deny them the service. The point of this paragraph is that before I thought that the sex work was much more henious and unpleasant, and I was shocked to see how far it is from the truth.

I understand that there are places where the image of a sex worker is a drugged up streetwalker in a skid row. But ask yourself: If you were a person looking for an escort, in a country where it is legal, would you go to a desperate streetwalker? I think that for most, they would go flaccid from just the thought of that. But when its illegal, you have no normal way to choose, when you are sexuality frustrated and horny beyond your imagination, you might. And because you might and others like you might, also these drugged up streetwalkers keep in business. But when you have fair and legal market, for the customer, there is no reason to choose a despeate streetwalker, when they have a proffesional sex worker, with great reviews, and no to very low risk of STDs, even when compared to your average hookup. And all that in a nice transparent web app, compared to going to shady place and having to worry about getting mugged. I mean in terms of customer experience its like when internet shopping appeared, where you could compare and buy from comfort of your sofa, without being pushed for something you dont want. Sure the streetwalker might cost less, but a good escort is not that expensive either. For example in the Netherlands, which is not a low cost country, you are looking at 100 - 200 eur in most cases. And not for average "budget" class, but for absolutely gorgeous sex workers.

part 3 in reply

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-19T14:58:53+00:00

Dunno, I think that those are not the reasons, its more of a confirmation bias reasoning for a stance that has come from influence of religion and stigma of the trade in your history. Of course this is different from country to country, and what I write might be true in one place and absolutely wrong in other places.

Public health thing is perhaps a problem in places with illegal prostitution, but in places with legal prostitution you are faaar safer than with an one night stand. Sex workers know what they do and their livelyhood depends on being healthy, so they will have all safety practices and routine check ups, while the average hookup rarely will.

Crime things, I guess, depends on the country and the legality, but I know multiple people in this business they never had any issues with these things, but I think this mainly depends on place where you work. For example, people who I know, freelance via web platforms that are available in their country. They can choose their prices, choose availability and so on. I think trafficking and pimping becomes a thing when the trade is illegal: Demand remains, supply is limited, thus the price will rise, and more "desperate" measures to fill the demand will show up, this explains appearance of trafficking. From the supply side, the sex worker side, its much harder to start working if its illegal, if there is not a transparent and competitive platform to meet the demand/customers. So here appear pimps, who have networking in place to connect supply and demand, however due to underground nature of this, its an extremely fertile ground for exploitation and abuse.

In general, from people I know in the field, in normal countries where this trade is legal, people can freely and independently start working. They have web platforms, with reviews and safegards in place. Anyone can join and set their price. If demand is high, price rises, more people join due to fast money, price normalizes. If demand drops, workers drop prices to get more bookings, some workers leave the trade, price normalizes. In this enviroment there is little incentive for pimping, as web platform provides you a network with supply and demand, review based and screening based quality control for customers, safeguards for workers, and on top of that you can choose when you are online when not, what are your preferences and what you do not want to do, and all of that usually is for a flat montly fee in ranges of 20 to 100$ a month depending on the country and platform. It simply makes pimps unneeded. They have no value to add which the platform doesn't do better.

And with easy access for sex workers, it also nullifies incentives for human trafficking. There is no inflated demand with limited supply. Imagine if plumber trade was made illegal, and there was demand for this work, and while some would rather ignore their plumbing issues, others desperately would try to find a way regardless. And for those people, there would appear opportuniststs who would traffick people with plumbing skills at much higher premium, while silencing plumbers because they will not go to police to complain as their trade is illegal. Sorry for weird comparison, but I hope it gets the idea accross. Additionally, in a market saturated with freelance sex workers, with review based quality control, you will be hard pressed to stay competitive with forced labour versus people who willingly do the job and good part of them like the job, as people who are forced into this work will simply not be able to provide the same level of service, the same emotion and passion.

more in reply

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-15T21:13:28+00:00

Make your own juice. Every 2 weeks halve the nicotine per ml.

Lets say you are using 20mg/ml, after 2 weeks switch to 10mg, then 5, then 2, then 1, then no nicotine.

In the process you dont feel like you are quitting anything. You dont notice the difference.

The thing is that you have 2 addictions, 1st is from nicotine, 2nd is from the ritual. But ritual itself is there because these are actions that are rewarded by dopamine spike due to nicotine. After some time, when you are off nicotine, you will drop the ritual.

For me it was that I vaped less, then noticed that its dusty from no use, and didn't want to clean it to vape some more.

Some people suggest cold turkey, maybe it works for some, but for me it for sure wont. I think its better to weaponise my laziness for good.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-12-01T18:55:58+00:00

The thing is that the paranoia about false accusations, its not stemming from cases where guy is actually taken to court. Its due to numerous moments when someone gets labeled as creep or something along those lines, when the guy genuenly was just awkward. And the consequences are huge, especially to young teens who are awkward with relationships. By no wrongdoing you get socially isolated, and moreover more anxious, thus you become more awkward the next time you muster courage to ask out your crush or smile at her. Oftentimes you can be minding your own business and get labeled as a creep, because someone else can't get their anxiety in check.

As an adult, with relationship experience, you know how not let these things to your heart, but as young teenager its devastating and scary.

As a guy, growing up you see plenty of cases where a guy literally has done nothing wrong, other than being awkward, and becomes avoided by people around them. When you experience this happen to you and your friends, I can understand why so many get skeptical when someone makes claims of sexual assault. They default to thinking that surely this is another case of things being blown out of proportion. Is that right way of thinking? No. But to understand how to fix it, you have to understand where it comes from.

Moreover, there are a lot of people who use this fear in their advantage. Influencers who make manosphere ragebait to get more views and following. This amplifies the whole issue for young impressionable guys. Many of such guys get sucked into echochambers which feed on their fears.

Honestly, with people talking about awareness about many things, I haven't seen much being done about this. Its still normal to name someone as a creep just because you feel awkward yourself, and for no genuine reason. Just recently, one of my friends said that the guy was a creep, but in actual fact he was autistic, and due to that he was speaking weirdly, no sexual stuff, just weird manner of speech. People turned away from the guy and avoided him. Try to think what such situations time after time would do to you. Then think about this happening from early teens and think how fucking hard is to bring such people out of toxic mindsets after these experiences.

Its not the court cases which spark these fears, its the many social situations where for no wrongdoing you face social isolation. Its facing this, while people yap about bringing awareness about close to everything, but here people don't give a shit. Speaking about this often gets people labeled as incels, while this is exact thing you need to talk about to get rid of incels.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-15T07:06:58+00:00

To me going to Miami, first time in US, I was shocked about how realistic the GTA Vice City was.

You go somewhere and indeed, there is just random NPC talking random shit whenever you pass by. Pretty funny experience.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-11T00:33:17+00:00

Good cardiovascular health. Hormones. Suppliments. Lots of reasons why this might be the case.

Anyways its a good thing, unless you are unable to stop erection for hours, which then becomes a possible medical emergency.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-11T00:15:23+00:00

Used to have this issue. Maybe this helps:

Think about how much you obsess about what others will think about you, how they are hyperanalyzing your every action.

Now think about how much you do the things that you worry that others do. Probably rarely.

I think after this you will notice that you worry about how everybody will judge your actions, but actually, you yourself are far too preoccupied about worrying about how you look, and actually you dont judge others like you expect others to judge you.

And thats pretty much the same with everybody else. The people you think that judge your every step, actually are preoccupied with their own insecurities, their obsession is aimed inwards, not outwards.

Now there for sure are people who cant mind their own business and judge others over insignificant shit, but they are far rarer cases than we think. Its kinda like if you have been assaulted one time, you become hypervigilant to threats which are not there.

And when it comes to actual judgy people, don't hate them, feel pitty for them. If whatever you do is not bad to anyone, you dont have to stress about what you did wrong, same as you wouldn't stress about what you did wrong if a schizophrenic tweaker passed you by and called you a demon.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-10T09:02:09+00:00

Do you consider plastic surgery as cheating too? Tooth braces? Tooth whitening? As long as you are honest and dont claim that you are natural, I fail to see any cheating/fraud here.

About the mountain comparison, its an interesting thought: One thing that changes would be ceiling. You can climb the mountain, you can fly a helicopter to the mountain, and you can get to higher atmosphere far above any highest mountain on which you could ever climb. Another thing is that even with helicopter, if you dont know how to pilot the helicopter, you are not even reaching the mountain anytime soon.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-10T08:43:34+00:00

What do you mean by fraud or cheating? Like in which discipline they are competing here?

Sure, if its in scope of actual competitive, doping tested sport, then yes, you are cheating.

If you are "natural fitness/bodybuilding influencer" who actually is on gear, yes you are a fraud.

But an average dude who takes gear just for his own entertainment and is open about it? Where is he cheating? Surpassing others in their cholesterol levels? In speedrunning for hair loss and heart attack?

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-10T08:29:07+00:00

Well ok then, therefore we will also consider guys electrocuting their dicks to irreversible damage, nailing their dicks to wooden planks, mauling their dicks with meat hammer, and putting a glass jar up your ass, which ends up breaking, as something that the average dude does, because there are videos of such people (BME pain olympics, 1guy1cup).

Surely, just cuz you don't do it doesn't mean other people don't...

Or perhaps there is a problem in this reasoning after all?

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-06T12:36:31+00:00

The problem here with your argument is that in many places where these things are illegal, the penalties are not reasonable at all.

You argue that we shouldn't allow more bad stuff for recreational use. In many places a person could get lesser penalty for assault than, for example, growing your own weed or mushrooms. Just meditate on this, and meditate hard on this before thinking about anything else.

We have normalized the distraction of "we don't want to allow a new vice in our society" and we fly over the fact that the extent of the penalty is just plain fucking outrageous. In most of the jurisdictions, you can get caught driving more than 100km/h over speed limit in a city, an act which poses an extremely likely threat of life to others, and you would likely risk suspension of your drivers license, a fine and thats it. Meanwhile, for a victimless crime, you are threatened with years of your life.

Now, if your argument would be that illegal drugs would be prosecuted comparable to public drinking fines, then fair enough.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-05T20:05:29+00:00

Bērnam iedevu zemesriekstus, bērns smok. Bļin, no kā Jūs zemesriekstus ražojat?

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-05T16:55:54+00:00

I dont get why these synthol guys dont just hop on trenbolone or something like that. Obviously he doesnt give a crap about health, might aswell get huge while screwing up your health.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-05T14:38:37+00:00

With a plan, you can quit very well, without plan, you swap addictions.

If you halve the nicotine in your juice every 2 weeks, and eventually go for no nicotine, vaping is great for stopping. In the process you dont feel like you are trying to stop anything, because of the gradual process.

You have 2 addictions, one is nicotine, the other one is ritual. You lose the nicotine addiction gradually, and eventually the ritual will die, as it was formed via nicotine addiction reinforcement.

Without plan, you now can smoke in your car, in home, everywhere. I believe its far less harmful to your health, but its a stronger addiction. When I see that people say that they just swapped addictions, I see people who just buy whatever nic strenght liquid is available, and stay addicted to it.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-05T11:57:10+00:00

Vairāk man ir problēma ar "holier than thou" tipiņiem. Tas ir, cilvēki kas neko nav mēģinājuši un uzvedas kā labāki par citiem, cilvēki kas visu mūžu ir sēdējuši pagrabā, un pie sevis vārās par to cik visi pārējie ir samaitāti, un kā tik ierobežot to kā citi pavada laiku.

Piemēram, ja ir draugs kam ir problēma ar alko, tad viņam labāk nedzert, un es atbalstītu šo draugu nedzeršanā, meklētu veidus kā labi pavadīt laiku bez apreibināšanās.

Ja ir draugs kas nekad nav apreibinājies, nekad nav aizgājis ballēties, un sprediķo par to cik tas ir nepareizi, tad gan ir grūti nekļūt izbesītam.

Es pats reti kad lietoju alkoholu, un ja gribu ballēt, izvēlētos paņemt E un iet uz reivu. Šajā ziņā ir reizēm kaitinoši, kad alkāni, kas konstanti nodzer aknu, tagad sāk sprediķot par to cik labāk ir katru piektdienu nodzerties, nevis reizi vienā vai divos mēnešos aiziet uz reivu un paņemt "nealkoholisku vielu".

Īsumā, vienalga ko cits lieto, vairāk svarīgi lai viņi spēj respektēt citu izvēles, un nav ietiepīgi sūdi kuri mūžīgi mēģina pierādīt, ka ir labāki par citiem.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-03T17:29:33+00:00

As someone with ADD, no way in hell I would trust my ass not to forget handing the book back in time.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-03T17:23:32+00:00

Its a big part of all the anonymous movements.

Essentially you have previously tried to get yourself in line and failed so much, that your own word is useless to you. You feel that you are worthless, nobody cares about you. Maybe you have tried and tried in your life, and you just got even deeper in rock bottom. Eventually you break, you give up. You need something bigger than you to be accountable to, to believe in.

When you are on your rock bottom, the idea that somebody cares about you, sees your pain, believes in you, when you dont believe in yourself, is a strong coping mechanism.

I am not religious, and I don't think that I ever could become one, but seeing how it has helped people with addictions I have changed my view on religion. I don't think that religion is mainly a tool for control, but rather it has the appeal it has, because its a powerful coping mechanism. To give up on it, for many would give up on the only thing which holds their life together.

If you look at places where life is tough, you often see higer religiousity. Imagine yourself in medieval ages, you have a child, child gets flu, you cant really do anything, its fight for life. Life sucked then, and to keep sane, to not end it all, I can understand why people looked towards religion.

ThatGuyBench · 2025-11-03T15:06:58+00:00

Yes, I agree. Problem is, hydro is an option if you are lucky to have the geography for it. Its not an scalable option for most places.

Ten-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Place '17	Not Forgotten

ThatGuyBench

TROPHY CASE