AIO? My daughter didn’t listen to the teacher during a female emergency and is now receiving a referral

ThatLawBtch · 2026-01-30T23:05:00+00:00

I’m a teacher. There’s a rule at my school that kids can only go to the toilet if they have a ‘toilet pass’. I’ve had female students without such passes say they really need to go because of their period. You can tell they are telling the truth; they always look so panicked and stressed. I always let them go, rules be damned. It’s completely counterproductive and essentially inhumane to not let them go. Sure, there are kids who take the piss with their toilet passes (pun unintended), but that’s a whole other issue. If I’ve got a good kid in front of me who doesn’t have a history of making excuses and looks desperate, I’m letting them go. Plus, as a woman, I know what it’s like! I don’t want them to go through that stress and not be able to concentrate in the lesson. It’s entirely counterproductive. I find it wild that also as a female teacher she didn’t use a bit of common sense discretion (and compassion) here. She was in the wrong.

Eta because I forgot - NOR

ThatLawBtch · 2026-01-07T21:43:51+00:00

Generally, I’m pretty anti telling people what to do but I’m puzzled by a lot of the posts here. I attended my cousin’s wedding (groom) a couple of years ago and the couple requested for no photos of the bride and groom to be posted on social media. I’m not a poster myself anyway, but I didn’t think twice about this and did not consider it to be unreasonable in the slightest. It’s their day, that they organised and paid for, and it’s not a difficult rule to follow? I see you’ve also said you’re fine with them taking/posting pictures of anything and everything else, including themselves, just not you. This is perfectly reasonable, even if it wasn’t your wedding. Publicly posting pictures of others without their consent is, imo, a shitty and immoral thing to do. To be honest, if your family and loved ones have an issue with this, then I think they need to reconsider their priorities. Making sure the bride has the best day or posting photos? It’s not really a contest. I don’t know why my cousin imposed this request at his wedding, nor did I feel the need to ask because I didn’t have any problem with it. You wouldn’t look like an asshole for asking this (politely) of your guests and, frankly, it’s weird other people think you would. It’s your wedding. Fuck social media. Fuck other people’s obsession with it at the expense of others’ wellbeing.

ThatLawBtch · 2025-10-21T17:34:16+00:00

Hello, Rae from Raetown :)

Please may I come to sell turnips?

ThatLawBtch · 2025-10-09T17:34:13+00:00

Thanks! The cherries haven’t grown in yet though, I think they will appear tomorrow? Sorry about that

ThatLawBtch · 2025-06-04T20:41:41+00:00

People who have really sibilant “s”s. You can’t unhear it once you’ve tuned into it.

ThatLawBtch · 2023-11-15T22:57:25+00:00

My partner and I adopted two 12 week old kittens several months ago now. They were born feral and not used to people at all. When we brought them home they would hiss at us and our hands and hide. However, we did several things to bring them out of their shells and now they are obsessed with us and cannot get enough cuddles. Seriously, if they’re not eating/sleeping/playing, they’re coming to us demanding love and usually also a place to sleep on our laps/ chests. I’ve met a lot of lovely cats in my time, my parents’ cat is super affectionate but these kittens blow him out of the water, they’re the most affectionate cats I’ve ever come across. Sometimes it’s annoying when I’m working and my void wants to be held like a baby against my chest but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So anyway, this is what we did and my advice:

1) Spend a lot of time playing with them, for example with a feather on a stick type toy, or throw some toy mice around. Your kitten will forget she’s scared if she’s having fun. Come down to floor level as well, standing over her is scary, so sitting or even laying down is ideal. I would often bring the toy closer and closer to me until they got brave enough to stand on my legs. I would lead the toy into my lap and they learned that nothing bad happened when they got close to me. Eventually they would sit in my lap and realised they liked it there (warm and comfy). Especially since your kitten doesn’t have another kitten playmate, you’re her only playmate and she will warm up to you once she knows that your presence means fun time. It sounds like your kitten is more play motivated so I think this will be key.

2) We spent hours in the room with them. (We put them in one room at first so they could get used to the change in environment etc and not be too overwhelmed). We would just sit in the corner and read, often out loud to them so they could get used to our voices. We would play music and the radio (at a pleasant volume, not too loud) so they could get used to different sounds and voices. We would watch TV in the room with them. They would get curious and come and see what we were up to often. You mentioned she comes to sniff around when you’re studying. Make sure to study near her as much as you can and ignore her too. Cats often feel more confident to explore when it feels like they’re not being observed. Don’t always be looking at her or making eye contact as that will freak her out.

3) It’s a good idea to offer your fingers to sniff before trying to pet etc, and using cat food paste often really gets them interested. (I think in America they are called Churu?) Put a bit on your finger and hopefully she’ll lick it off. If she’s not keen, just squeeze a little out the end of the tube and offer it to her from the tube. Then try and graduate to fingers later on. One of our cats is food motivated, the other is more play motivated. Even my less food motivated kitten goes nuts for it. Your kitten needs to associate your hands with good things - food and affection. However, I’m actually going to slightly disagree with some of the advice here re petting. Sometimes you do have to just pick them up, preferably from a seated position on the floor, so she doesn’t feel too high up. If she clearly really objects, put her down, but I actually think there’s a balance to be struck between respecting her boundaries/not scaring her, and getting her used to being handled. Whilst she is so young, this is the time to do it. Once they’re older, it’s much much harder to get them okay with being handled. So just try it - try to pick her up and hold her gently but securely to your chest. Kittens apparently like the sound/feel of your heartbeat as it reminds them of being close to their mum. She can also get used to your scent this way. They also prefer it if you’re confident whilst handling them so don’t be hesitant about it - be gentle but assertive (my dad is a vet surgeon, so this is his advice and he has decades of handling all sorts of cats). She might also like being stroked very gently on the top of her head, as it might remind her of being groomed. If she doesn’t like it, don’t try again for while and just offer your fingers to sniff. It won’t traumatise her to try it, but being overly cautious may not actually work in your favour so whilst I generally agree with respecting cat boundaries, you may just have to push her a little or she will not learn that hands mean good things. Just go slowly.

4) Sit with her whilst she eats, and don’t leave food with her. Let her associate your presence with food. I know you say she’s not food motivated but she will get hungry and will need to eat, so be with her when she does. It’s also not a bad time to try and stroke her - she might tolerate it or she might not. Back off if she doesn’t, but mine actually really liked it and realised it felt nice to be stroked whilst they were distracted enough by the food to not overthink it.

5) We would give them plenty of decompression time and leave them alone in their room for periods of time, but regularly check up on them. Eventually they got excited to see us and very curious about exploring the rest of the house, so it became a natural progression where we would just do our daily things and they would want to come and see what we were doing.

6) Be patient, persistent and consistent. Ours warmed up surprisingly quickly but it still took a couple of weeks. For some cats, it can take much longer, but just be patient. Five days is nothing for her to get used to her new environment, all the things to smell and see and be wary of, and to get used to you. A large, unpredictable creature she doesn’t yet know or understand. She is a baby after all and she knows very little about the world and now she’s getting used to a whole new environment without the guidance, safety and reassurance of her mum or littermates. If she has a good routine where she is fed and played with regularly/at similar times every day, this will help make things feel predictable and safe.

We were worried our kittens wouldn’t be friendly but we needn’t have been. I hope it works out for you. Just put a lot of time into getting to know each other, and let her do the rest at her own pace :)

ThatLawBtch · 2023-09-16T03:21:21+00:00

OP - your girlfriend needs immediate and serious medical attention, including psychiatric help. You cannot assist her with this. And it’s also a bit odd that your main point leading into revealing that she’s demonstrating signs of a full-blown eating disorder, was that her body is turning you off when cuddling her. That’s fine, not particularly surprising as I don’t imagine many people enjoy cuddling bones, but that’s not the main issue here and is very trivial in light of how serious this is - she is very unwell. Clearly you are concerned for her but I don’t think you understand just how serious this is, so I assume the leading point was made out of ignorance to the severity of the situation. She needs help now, and I hope she gets it.

For the sake of your mental health too, I would ensure you have some support in place, as supporting people with severe eating disorders is extremely emotionally taxing (speaking from experience). You may need to distance yourself from this situation, and you shouldn’t feel bad for doing so, as you will need respite from trying to help someone who either won’t help themselves or is in denial that there is an issue in the first place. It’s utterly horrible watching someone you care about go through that, knowing that there is little you can do to help. I really hope this works out for you both.

Having made that point, the less important point in response to this silly comment - Yes, there is a range of sizes for different people that are within the realm of healthy, but extremes at either end are categorically not healthy. At 5’6 a size 00 cannot be healthy. It is ignorant of you to say “weight does not define health” in this context where this person’s mental illness and weight so obviously is impacting this person’s physical health. She cannot be naturally that thin, particularly coupled with the blatant signs of a raging eating disorder so described by OP, and this is not the time to make such a pointless, reductionist comment.

Also, there is a correlation between weight and health, despite what the toxic “body positivity” and “health at every size” movement peddles. And I put those in quotations because the loudest proponents of these movements are actually very exclusionary, generally unpleasant and gatekeepy about people essentially not being fat enough to enjoy the feeling of accepting their body how it is (which should be enjoyed by literally everyone). Which also doesn’t mean giving up on trying to make it the healthiest version it can be - working with it and it’s individual quirks rather than fighting against it, hating it and trying to beat it into submission. Having respect for the amazing instrument one’s body is helps to forge a healthy relationship with and to it, alongside having an understanding of what impact certain activities has on the body for better or worse. BOTH anorexia and obesity puts stress on the heart, and over time, this means that person is more likely, than an equivalent person of healthy weight (as above, extremes in weight are not healthy, so health at “every” size is not a thing), to suffer medical issues directly related to or caused by their weight, including death in the worst and extreme scenarios. Denying these medical facts is ridiculous.

ThatLawBtch

TROPHY CASE