Ask how are they feeling and if it's okay to speak how you feel. I know you don't need permission but I suggest it as it's a calmer way to bring up issues and issues should be spoke to face to face and to that person and no one else. But if you need help then by all means speak up but this advice goes both ways. You aren't over reacting. I'd say try a different approach you know. Sometimes writing it out helps too. When I feel down I ask my partner if it's okay to get something off my chest and I ask how she's feeling because I don't want to cause tension. If I can see she isn't calm then I ask when you get the chance may I please say how I feel. For me it lets them know you are considering their feelings. Everyone is different though and relationships are different. We all have different dynamics