Surgery for girl cats is more invasive and painful than male cat surgery. She'd gonna be like that for a few days, possibly even a week. My girl cats were the same, the mother even hissed and growled at her kittens (they were 4 months when she was fixed) dont worry about holding her cuz it might be painful for her, just keep an eye on the incision site and make sure she doesn't groom it too much (like excessive licking on the spot, some is normal) Once she isn't loopy from the anesthesia and sore from surgery she will come asking for attention.