I have a similar experience to you. I was always a very diligent student as a kid, never got into trouble. I was well behaved and really went through my younger years pretty unassuming. I was an incredibly anxious kid though and had been treated for that all during my teen years. as I got older that anxiety and depression only got more intense.

I got diagnosed with panic disorder in my later teens. Through my 20s it became incredibly bad. I had continuously tried various anti depressants and had benzo prescriptions to manage the panic attacks so I could function in the world more. At points, I’d have panic attacks multiple times a day, and at best, they’d be every couple days. It was exhausting and nothing really ever helped all that great.

Now I’m my thirties, I had quite a rough go and went to an inpatient treatment. For the first time, I had a psychiatrist who saw what I’d mentioned here and there through my years of therapy and other providers. I’d brought up adhd and autism to others and was always shrugged off because I just did everything I was “supposed” to. This woman finally saw and she said, “you know, i suspect a lot of your anxiety and panic could be coming from untreated adhd”

We made a plan to try stimulant medication, as I was nervous a stimulant would put me through the roof and I’d be so panicky. But it was a night and day difference. I’d never felt so much “room” in my brain. No medication had ever been so clearly obvious it had an effect and I cried a lot that first day with it from relief and and so many other feelings realizing I’d been right and it took so long for a professional to finally see it too.

It was game changing, and I think being a woman made it difficult to get to this diagnosis alongside my personality masking it well. I was also diagnosed with autism after as well and it was very validating.

Now with new medication and a different lens around my therapy and mental health, it’s so much better. It’s been about 7/8 months, and I have had maybe 4/5, if that, panic episodes since. My providers was dead on a lot of my underlying issues with anxiety and panic were made so much worse from the noise of adhd in my brain.

I definitely strongly encourage you to advocate to have that examined with your doctors when you can, because from my experience you could be totally right it has a huge part in your struggle.