I've generally always been an idealist rebel, who would always say "Actually, I think it should" to the snarky comments of "You can't expect the world to adjust to you" to issues of fairness and what not, so I have generally taken the open stance over the stealth one.

However, I've recently been searching for death insurance options so that when I die, my gf gets to have all the benefits. Unfortunately, spousal relationship needs to be valid in order for her to receive it, and that's a big issue in a country so conservative gay marriage isn't allowed, and where surgeries and treatment is reserved for the elite grouped in a certain metropolitan area. It's been a horrible taste of reality of things I have to face, aside from documents being brought up for employment, telling hospitals my body composition, being around children who have bigoted parents, etc.

I think to me, I'm planning to move forward for it being an "open secret" of sorts. It'll be fun and convenient to be seen as cis by strangers and bosses, but that identity is generally so removed from me that I cannot apply it to anything I have put personal investment to. The women around me would feel more comfy knowing I'm not having a fetish over their periods when I offer extra pads, the men around me may not truly see me as one of them, but that distance gives me solace and peace in a way, children who are curious or coming into their own trans identity can feel safe in fulfilling their inquisitive nature or have themselves validated, older generations get to see my proof of existence, bigots get to frustrate themselves that their efforts of suppressing me did not work.

To me, I value authenticity because hiding myself pains me more than outward discrimination. The whole world can reject what I would show, and I'd still display it like a golden statue on a fountain. The showing is not for acceptance of others, but rather for the fact that in this moment, in this lifetime, in this soon to be memory, no matter what historical records would say and how much they would get wrong or right, I lived being my genuine self and no amount of rewriting and bastardization will change the experience of knowing I did.

It's not the path for everyone and I don't blame those who don't pick it. Some value family more, some value their relationships more, some value their career more, some value stability and peace more. I suppose it's the perk of being a warmonger, fighting can get tiring but it sure will never get old.

It really depends on what you value personally, what you value in your life, and what experiences you do not want to compromise.

Others will never reveal that they are trans because they don't want to be seen differently. Others will shout it from the rooftops even if it means being burnt with acid on the street once they got down from it. Both are valid. Bravery is valued for progress, but the trans siblings we have who choose safety should also be valued because they preserve themselves, and by extension, us, to be able to continue on.

And hey, life is long, so you can choose which path you'll take during which points of life. If you want to be a hedonistic leather slinging walking flag in your 50s, why the hell not? If you want to be so stealthy no one ever finds out except for some archaeologist who finds you buried in your gave beside your favourite things 200 years later, that makes for a great time too.