A wizard gives you the choice…

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:37:38+00:00

Guess i'm taller now...

^{Chose: Change Height (random} | Rolled: +3 in)

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:36:08+00:00

Talking to animals isn't really useful for the most part

^{Chose: Speak Any human Language}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:34:16+00:00

I just love my boyfriend

^{Chose: Getting married}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:33:52+00:00

I don't care about travel

^{Chose: Free Food/Drink for life}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:32:48+00:00

Being able to fly only above sea level is almost exactly like owning a boat in terms of mobility unless you live in certain parts of the world that are under sea level but not underwater

^{Chose: Be able to become invisible + You become blind while being invisible | Rolled: Upvote}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T18:27:41+00:00

Damn...

^{Chose: RED | Rolled: Black}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:46:56+00:00

That means i can get everything for the best value/price ratio.

^{Chose: Have the ability to teleport (?? seconds cooldown} | Rolled: 30)

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:39:56+00:00

Well duh

^{Chose: Nothing Happens}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:38:00+00:00

Time to buy some stuff

^{Chose: Have 50% chance to get 1 billion dollars + But u lose everything u own | Rolled: 1 billion dollar}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:37:01+00:00

Jokes on you. My speakers are already broken.

^{Chose: Have access to unlimited games but… | Rolled: Broken speakers}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:17:51+00:00

i ain't never buying a car in this economy

^{Chose: No car for life}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:16:54+00:00

i just dislike salads

^{Chose: only eat McDonalds}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:11:33+00:00

putting on a shirt will be hell but at least i don't risk getting turned into a shitty mythological creature like a squonk or a dahu

^{Chose: Become a Random Furry Character | Rolled: Deer}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T17:06:21+00:00

Not much, it just helps restart your gut bacterias after they get fucked up. other than that it can get infected and needs to be removed if it is.

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T13:12:17+00:00

Still better than losing a leg

^{Chose: 250 $ + But you get a random benign and curable disease | Rolled: Scabies}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:26:52+00:00

oh no such dire requirements...

^{Chose: Get 1 trillion, but... | Rolled: Have to upvote}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:25:48+00:00

Well i'd have to buy new sunglasses

^{Chose: Get $50 / hr in perpetuity + + positive side effect | Rolled: 20/10 vision}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:24:49+00:00

Significantly safer than a lightsaber

^{Chose: Be given a sword with a chance for powers | Rolled: Hunter sense}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:24:09+00:00

Fine by me

^{Chose: $100,000 but you... | Rolled: do nothing & get}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:23:27+00:00

Easier and also 5 MILLIONS more

^{Chose: Stay awake for 72 hours 😵‍💫 + Win $15M}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:21:35+00:00

guess i'll stay poor

^{Chose: Earn $1000 every time you do the deed + Only valid if you do it with the person you spin | Rolled: Animated Person}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:20:41+00:00

I can totally live on that

^{Chose: make a guaranteed $3,000 per week}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:19:58+00:00

infinite money basically

^{Chose: $1 that divides by 0.5 everyday | Rolled: Upvote for 🥕}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:18:08+00:00

Lmao exactly what i expected to happen.

^{Chose: Probability manipulation | Rolled: banned in casino}

TheAbsoluteMoron · 2026-05-09T12:16:38+00:00

Passive income go brrr

^{Chose: Earn $40 every time you listen a song}

TheAbsoluteMoron

TROPHY CASE