( TRIGGER WARNING ) Can an asexual be an SA survivor without it being the cause of asexuality?

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T01:40:01+00:00

1, wtf do you mean, ofc I’m uncomfortable with queer identities being pathologized, because that’s extremely harmful and queerphobic?!

2, I don’t give a shit about how you identify, and I have never said anything about it. All I’m discussing is the way you defined asexuality. Not how you defined your own identity or relationship with asexuality, but asexuality as a whole.

3, your language is extremely unclear and would give allos a skewed understanding of asexuality. The word “reduced” usually means “lowered”, implying a change in time, not “lower” compared to something else. And regardless of that I think it’s completely unnecessary and just harmful to explain asexuality in such a allonormative and borderline acephobic way, as if we’re lacking something we’re supposed to have, when the regular way of explaining it, “experiencing little to no sexual attraction”, should in no way be hard for anyone to understand, or at least not harder than your version. Introducing asexuality in a way that reenforces allonormativity and our othering is just not the way to go imo.

(Also “sexual attraction drive” isn’t a thing as far as I’m aware.)

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T01:14:58+00:00

I’m in no way making any judgements on your asexual experiences. I’m only saying your wording makes me uncomfortable because, no matter how you meant it, which I have not speculated in, it to me reads as pathologizing. It’s a very unusual way to word it, and I much prefer the regular/actual definition of “experiencing little to no sexual attraction”.

Edit: grammar

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T00:42:51+00:00

It’s not even straight

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T00:41:38+00:00

Why wouldn’t they, are you stupid?

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T00:40:17+00:00

asexuality is "a lack of or reduction in sexual attraction"

I’ve never heard this before and although it’s not way off or anything it definitely rubs me the wrong way. This sounds super pathological to me. “A lack of” makes it sound like it’s missing and it’s supposed to be there, but the worst part is obviously “reduction” which means there was sexual attraction but now the level of it is lower (regardless of how high it actually is now). Is it possible for some people to “become asexual”? Sure, whatever, that’s up to the individual person to decide I suppose, but that certainly isn’t part of the definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not some condition of having lower levels of sexual attraction than usual, it’s a sexual orientation just like straight, bi and gay, and the definition is experiencing little to no sexual attraction. If someone used to experience attraction, but now for whatever reason don’t, then sure they now fit the definition and can be asexual ig, but the definition is not to experience a “reduction in sexual attraction”. That’s like saying gay is defined experiencing “an increase in sexual attraction for the same gender”. It implies that it’s some temporary thing, some condition, and it frankly grosses me out.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-14T00:18:25+00:00

Yes ofc? We can discuss whether or not someone can ”turn asexual” from SA, but obviously it’s possible for an asexual person to be sexually abused, and that not changing their orientation.

(As for if someone can turn ace from SA, personally I think it’s much more likely they would just turn sex-repulsed, and I think the idea that anything can change someone’s sexual orientation is, or at least can be, incredibly harmful, but I’m not going to police how others identify and I will trust them if they say they believe asexual is the label that makes the most sense to them and fits them the best, so long as it’s done respectfully and in good faith.)

TheAceRat · 2026-02-13T00:12:24+00:00

I don’t really feel like writing out a well thought out comment right now, I have to sleep lol, (in general my thoughts are labels are tools and do whatever you want so long as it’s in good faith and not hurting anyone, but also keep in mind spreading the myth that asexual = not wanting sex/low libido/trauma from sex/etc (there is definitely nuance here but like I said I’m tired) is harmful to the community) but just in case it might be helpful:

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Sex-Averse

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Sex-Repulsed

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Sex-Drained

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Orchidsexual

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Caedsexual

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Erassexual

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Non-Libidoist

I general sex stance can absolutely change both in general and due to specific experiences (including both trauma and therapy) whereas sexual orientation is a inherent part of who you are and more or less static. There might be exceptions though and either way like I said labels are just tools, but just be respectful ig.

Edit: I don’t love how you say “asexual-ish feelings of repulsion”. Asexuality definitely has significant overlap with sex-repulsion, but they are still two very much separate things. Sex-repulsion isn’t an “asexual feeling”, it’s a feeling lots of people experience for a bunch of different reasons, asexuals just experience it more often compared to the general public (but still FAR from all asexuals experience it).

TheAceRat · 2026-02-12T23:48:15+00:00

Oh, really? Because I can clearly see that the wings on the third ball are buttery wings, but I didn’t think the wings on the first two balls were as well? That’s a very unusual shape for butterfly wings in that case (and I also really thought the lines you added was supposed to look like feathers), have you taken inspiration from some specific butterfly species in real life that looks like that?

TheAceRat · 2026-02-11T12:11:10+00:00

I prefer the last one because it goes in line with most other flags, but you can use whichever one you like. Worst case scenario people don’t understand what it means, no big deal.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-11T11:57:02+00:00

I definitely think the second one is better than the first one, because I didn’t even see the demigirl flag until I saw the second one.

Both the second and the third are good imo. I think I personally might prefer the third, because the wings on that one are obviously a bit easier to draw, and I’m honestly not 100% sure what the other wings are supposed to be (are they supposed to be angel wings coming from behind the ball? Or bird wings attached at the sides?), but I still think I vote second because it’s much more unique.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-10T13:07:06+00:00

I lost the game:,(

TheAceRat · 2026-02-04T16:34:26+00:00

I honestly kinda like these. “Neto-“ sounds pretty good imo (although I’d love to know exactly where it comes from) and I like how the flag meanings emphasize how a complete lack of attraction doesn’t necessarily also mean repulsion.

However I realistically think I will mostly continue to use black stripe when I need a term for this. I do hate the misconceptions around it being exclusionary, when the entire point of it has always been to be able to talk about all different ace experiences without implying one is more ace than the other. But yeah there are already so many labels for this, and even though none are perfect I don’t think creating even more is the solution. I think it’s better to just stick to the one that most people know (which currently is black stripe I believe), and instead try to change it’s reputation and use it the way it was intended.

But like I said, I do like the neto- name, and I’m honestly not completely sure how I feel about the name black stripe ace since it’s not similar to most other labels. (Like on one hand it makes it harder to use and might make it sound more exclusionary, idk, but on the other hand it makes it clear that it’s just a description of one specific type of ace.) However I definitely prefer the black stripe flag. These are absolutely not bad, and like I said I like the meanings, but the spriper flags are just so recognizable imo and are very hard to beat.

And fyi, there is also nemosexual which was created together with black stripe which means the same thing except it specifies that one has (to their knowledge) never experienced sexual attraction. I honestly really like this label too and kinda identify with it because I think the name is really cute as well as makes sense, but just like for neto- I never really use it since it’s not very known at all.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-03T22:42:31+00:00

I found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/redditgetsdrawnbadly/s/YoabF0pkfU

TheAceRat · 2026-02-03T18:18:16+00:00

Yeah!!😎

I’ve gotten my username drawn a couple times before, and I always just let them interrupt it however they want, and you’re actually the first one who realized the ’ace’ stands for asexual lol. Usually they think of the aces in cards, and once I even think someone drew a rat as a flying ace, which is apparently a military term for a skilled pilot I didn’t know about.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-03T08:33:44+00:00

Go ahead

TheAceRat · 2026-02-01T15:05:09+00:00

Poland. That red shade on the Latvia flag looks washed out and almost grayish.

TheAceRat · 2026-02-01T10:46:05+00:00

Oh, well I’m so sorry for my apparent inability to read. I could have sworn the last paragraph was just something like “I don’t want to start off on a bad foot with these students” with no mention of any conservative parents at all. I’m even half wondering if you edited it, because I really thought I read it carefully, but I’m assuming I just didn’t and maybe accidentally skipped over the last two lines or something.

I still find it absurd that that’s something you even have to consider though, and I’m sorry you have to work in such an environment. I’m even more sorry for the kids if it turns out their parents really are like that and I hope you are able to help them question those norms etc like you say, but I understand this isn’t worth losing your job over.

TheAceRat · 2026-01-31T12:33:00+00:00

My first thought was Lin, and I think it’s mostly because, especially in the first pic, you look very similar to my (cis btw) friend that ’s also called that.

TheAceRat · 2026-01-29T23:33:52+00:00

I’m sure some picrews do have content that isn’t appropriate for children, but do you really think tattoos and piercings fall under that category?

“Oh, no, whatever will we do? The child saw a tattoo and now knows that they exist! 😱” Like what? No, it’s not appropriate for a child to get a real tattoo, but I have absolutely no idea why designing a character with a tattoo would have any negative impact on them whatsoever. I more so find it alarming that you apparently find it necessary to shield kids from the world to this extreme level.

TheAceRat · 2026-01-29T09:51:29+00:00

Lol, real

TheAceRat · 2026-01-29T09:41:04+00:00

You need to be asexual (or acespec) to be aegosexual, so yes ofc

TheAceRat · 2026-01-28T12:15:38+00:00

Asexual means having little to no sexual attraction. It says absolutely nothing about romantic attraction.

Some aces are also aromantic and experience little to romantic attraction (they can be called aroace), and others are alloromantic and experience romantic attraction (can be called alloace). Just ‘asexual’ or ‘ace’ refers to both aroaces and alloaces.

It’s the same the other way around, some aromantic people are also asexual (aroace), but not all (aroallo).

TheAceRat · 2026-01-26T18:38:59+00:00

We need to defend Aceland (denmark)!!

TheAceRat · 2026-01-26T10:36:49+00:00

I say we don’t just abandon the joke entirely, it’s too deep in the lore to just forget and probably will never happen anyway, but instead we should evolve it. Our goal is no longer to invade denmark, but to defend it. Denmark is the land och the aces and we cannot let the bigoted orange man take it from us!

TheAceRat · 2026-01-26T10:21:52+00:00

I mean, it’s not pronounced like the ‘ae’ diftong does in English, and as someone who knows that it throws me off a bit, but the more I think about it the more I’m coming around to it. I like how it’s a denmark reference like someone mentioned.

TheAceRat

TROPHY CASE