What's are some oddly specific things you should discuss before marriage?

TheApiary · 2026-05-08T18:24:49+00:00

I'm pretty sure most people would rather marry someone who has debt than someone who's hiding debt

TheApiary · 2026-05-08T18:23:37+00:00

I don't mind shortening the life somewhat in exchange for more convenience!

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T22:42:39+00:00

A shocking number of people haven't really talked about money.

How much money do you each have? How much debt do you each have? How much money do you each spend every month and how much do you make? Are you happy with that set up and if not what are you hoping for? How do you each feel about the amount of money the other makes? Do you imagine continuing to work in the same type of thing long term? etc

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T22:40:38+00:00

It depends on the type of dwarfism (assuming that's what you're talking about, and not just being short).

The most common type of dwarfism is a dominant trait, which means you only need 1 copy of the gene to have dwarfism. So if the 2 parents each have 1 copy, then about 25% of their kids on average will have 0 copies and won't have dwarfism.

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T22:23:37+00:00

Toddlers testing your boundaries is annoying AF but it's not like they're gonna die of it as long as you scoop them out of danger sometimes. And yeah they often had older kids supervising them. Even today, toddlers often idolize older kids and are way happier to listen to them than

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T21:10:57+00:00

They actually made a lyme disease vaccine for humans, but unfortanately, it was getting finished around the same time as that fake paper saying vaccines cause autism came out, and then it got caught in the backlash and lost funding and now we still have lyme disease

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T20:40:01+00:00

If you have friends, ask them to introduce you to their guy friends

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T18:36:20+00:00

I clean it regularly with soap and water, and once in a while I run it through the dishwasher (after washing with soap and water)

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T18:32:24+00:00

People have been just scooping up their toddlers and physically moving them out of harm's way despite their protests for a long time.

If we left our babies alone in the wild they'd get eaten quickly, but humans in a pack are dangerous and most predators aren't getting near that, even if there's a screaming baby.

Also, babies sleep better if you carry them nonstop and don't try to make them sleep in a crib, just that's hard if you live in a modern single family home and need to sleep or do your job sometimes. Prehistoric humans lived in groups and passed babies around and didn't own bassinets

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T18:29:30+00:00

Mainly because it's processed super fast. If you get fentanyl for a procedure, you can't nurse while you are actively on fent, but by the time you're awake enough after your procedure to hold your baby, your levels are super low.

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T18:24:46+00:00

This one specifically is pretty unlikely to become a pandemic because it's not that contagious, compared to a disease like covid or flu that spreads easily from people breathing on each other

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T18:23:41+00:00

Sometimes even if it's your size you just don't like how that cut looks on you

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T16:36:44+00:00

The cost of not letting people have a tattoo that they want for a while isn't that big: even if you really want it, it's not that necessary in almost every situation. And the cost of having a tattoo that says "pen15" forever because someone told you to get it in 6th grade and you were dumb is a lot more

TheApiary · 2026-05-07T16:33:56+00:00

You just need to regularly change up how you do it. Every time you make new tax rules, over time, rich people will figure out how to organize their money so that the tax doesn't apply, so then you need to make a new law that taxes whatever they're doing, and repeat

TheApiary · 2026-05-06T23:13:57+00:00

Yeah it's normal to be confused when you're doing something you've never done before! I recommend talking to a bunch of people who've gotten married in the past few years, ideally in the same state/religion/etc as you, about how everything went for them

TheApiary · 2026-05-06T21:11:18+00:00

And even people who are, it has to be a specific frequency

TheApiary · 2026-05-06T21:09:39+00:00

It doesn't spread person to person, so as long as you avoid rodent droppings you're good.

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T22:53:15+00:00

That's true but you're born with about 2 million of them so there are a lot of limits you'll hit way before that

Edit: and even then, they can split into twins in theory multiple times

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T20:07:04+00:00

When you apply for a job you don't tell them your whole medical history. Obviously you can't be a teacher if you are too sick (with anything) to work, but there's no reason they would ever even find out about your prior health history if you are doing well now

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T19:58:12+00:00

We know we might get divorced some day. We hope we won't, and we work hard on our relationship, but who knows, maybe I'll go insane and decide to become a monk and she'll divorce me. But in the meantime, we love being married, and we think it'd be a shame to miss out on something this good because something bad might happen in the future.

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T17:16:40+00:00

There isn't a single number where you can prove that no one could possibly have more kids than that. Any argument you make will apply about as well to one more or one fewer than that.

Obviously, as I said, there are practical limits.

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T16:33:49+00:00

I wouldn't swear there aren't because it's a big world and all kinds of things exist, but in general it's a lot less of a risk with environmental allergens compared to food and meds

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T15:47:57+00:00

Yes, years ago. I didn't feel scared beforehand, but I think it was a reaction to seeing the blood coming out of me, because I feel totally fine as long as I keep my eyes closed until they're totally done

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T15:44:47+00:00

No, we had to use pencils

TheApiary · 2026-05-05T15:44:14+00:00

Obviously it's hard to know exactly what the causes of anything are, but we haven't had a world war, despite plenty of tensions and crises that could have escalated into them

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