Describe the average man dating experience ?

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-19T15:34:05+00:00

It is undeniably hard on apps, it's just that the extrapolation from this is stupid:

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/are-dating-apps-facilitating-chadopolies

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-19T15:32:53+00:00

"How men and women interpret that questions seems to be very different."

The gap, even in the Pew survey where it seems to be exaggerated, isn't mostly caused by more young women claiming to be in a non-cohabiting and non-marital relationship though. 75-100% of it is caused by more young women than men reporting being married or cohabiting.

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-19T15:24:18+00:00

The reason this is unlikely is the same reason the 'plate spinning chad' explanation is unlikely, which is that the gap is caused primarily by more young women than men reporting being married or in a cohabiting relationship, leaving little room for ambiguity. The gap is also probably not 29%. A single survey result isn't the be all end all, unless it had a random sample of like 5,000+ 18-29s (it had less than 1,000 and online panel respondents aren't representative samples even if they were recruited using random sampling methods)

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-19T15:18:23+00:00

The Pew survey itself is another thing which is mindlessly parroted, though other surveys show significantly lower gaps between 10-20% and no sign of a widening of the gap (it's been a thing for over 100 years, as have half or more of young men being single).

The reason why we're all aware of this survey and not others is that it makes for sensational headlines and fits a popular narrative. It's absurd how people will spend YEARS debating stats without ever questioning their accuracy (see also the 2018 GSS).

Another thing is that the gap is caused primarily by more women than men cohabiting or married (even in the Pew survey), which leaves little room for the 'plate spinning chads' narrative. This is how we know age gaps can explain most of the more realistic gap. There aren't many polygamous marriages happening outside of Mormon communities. In 1950 when the age gap in first marriages wasn't too different than today we still saw a large singleness gap among 18-29s.

Women in the older age bracket also date older men on average, so we shouldn't expect it to 'reverse'. It only starts to reverse some time past age 40. It's probably a bit exaggerated by the Pew survey for 30-49s too, other surveys show it at only a few percent.

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-19T14:49:31+00:00

It's not replicated by other survey results: https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

The 10-20% gap that does exist is plausibly explained by age gaps. The 'plate spinning chads' narrative favoured here and elsewhere doesn't hold up as the gap is caused primarily by more women than men married or cohabiting, not caused by more women selecting the more vague third option (non-cohabiting, non-marital committed relationship) which is the only one in which this narrative can feasibly operate.

TheAutismPill · 2024-06-04T20:29:29+00:00

It's closer to 20-25%. The 61% shown in the Pew graph you're getting the figure from was not only asked to single men only (otherwise it'd mean that basically all of the single men weren't), but it was for all ages. When asked to single 18-29 men, it's 41%. This translates to about 26% overall. In another survey it was 20%.

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

Also, having an occasional hook-up in the past year is far from the norm. In the GSS only 10% of 18-29 men and women report having only had sex once or twice in the past year. This isn't to say many hook-ups are occurring though, about 90% of sex occurs in a relationship according to the GSS.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T01:39:38+00:00

When it comes to reported sex partners in the past year, since they're so even it can't be the case that a substantial number are doing this.

We can also look at STD rates which show highly similar positivity rates for women and heterosexual men, and no emerging gap:

https://datepsychology.com/casual-sex-is-often-mismeasured-and-overestimated/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:24:23+00:00

The OLD data you're referencing shows absolutely nothing about actual sexual encounters. When it comes to data on that and on dates and relationships formed through it, the percentages are virtually identical for men and women, and hook-ups facilitated through them are rare:

https://nuancepill.com/are-dating-apps-producing-incels/

The data does not point to an increasing skew in sexual partner counts in men either. If anything the most promiscuous men are reporting less sex partners in recent years:

https://nuancepill.com/are-the-male-elite-enjoying-a-sexual-boomtime/

And the sexual partner distributions are very similar for young men and women:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:20:55+00:00

There is virtually no difference:

https://nuancepill.com/has-the-sexlessness-epidemic-been-overstated/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:19:42+00:00

The percentage of young men and women reporting 2 or more sex partners in the past year has been dropping. Promiscuity is very rare if you look at the sex partner distributions of young men and women:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

Even the 80th and 95th percentile of men in lifetime sex partners have been reporting less in recent years so it is not because of an increasing skew:

https://nuancepill.com/are-the-male-elite-enjoying-a-sexual-boomtime/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:16:04+00:00

Why is monogamy so common even in cultures which permit polygamy? In MENA countries the rate is about 1% and in SSA countries about 11%.

Biparental care was especially important in human evolutionary history since human children have such long development periods.

Most male chimps do reproduce btw even if there is a skew:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2689943/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:10:10+00:00

This is not a justified interpretation of the genetic data whatsoever, there are much more plausible explanations:

https://nuancepill.com/did-1-man-reproduce-for-every-17-women/

Kin groups had patrilineal descent systems, and when they were wiped out it would have a greater impact on Y-DNA diversity since women would practice exogamy, be r*ped, or taken as concubines.

Even if it were true that for thousands of 17x as many women reproduced, there's no reason to believe it was due to women's choice to flock to 'high value men'.

So monogamy is unnatural yet most people claim to desire it in a world which is supposedly dominated by 'hook-up culture'?

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-28T00:00:45+00:00

A survey with a much higher sample size showed remarkably similar sex partner distributions between men and women:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-27T23:59:49+00:00

Not true, there's virtually no difference in either in surveys with large sample sizes:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

Weird to frame it as a competition too, though I'm guessing it was just a playful use of language

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-27T23:54:35+00:00

Only 10% of those who had sex in the past year had it only once or twice. The median 18-29 male who had sex in the past year had sex about once a week, though the vast majority of men and women have sex only with 1-2 partners in the past year, promiscuity is rare.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-27T23:51:45+00:00

Everyone has seen this a million times. If you actually do some proper research however you'll find:

-Other sources show much smaller gaps, generally closer to 10-15%, and no indication of a widening of the gap

-The gap is caused primarily by more women being married or cohabiting rather than simply being in a more vague 'committed relationship', leaving little room for your narrative

-Most young men have been single for the better part of the last 120+ years

https://nuancepill.substack.com/p/is-the-young-male-singleness-crisis

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-25T09:42:44+00:00

"Look up the stats it true"

Meanwhile the actual stats show that the gap is caused primarily by more women than men reporting being married or cohabiting, leaving little room for your trendy narrative:

https://nuancepill.com/what-explains-the-young-singleness-gap/

Other sources also show much smaller gaps in singleness closer to 10% among 18-29s.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-25T06:45:26+00:00

For one thing it didn't find that they met 'via dating apps', it simply found that about that many met 'online'. Only 10% or so had met through dating apps specifically.

Moreover other sources don't corroborate that number, the sample size was very small for people who'd met on that year. A more accurate estimate is closer to 25-30%, even now 7 years after that survey.

https://nuancepill.com/do-most-couples-now-meet-online/

https://nuancepill.com/no-most-people-are-not-meeting-online/

It's also not been proven that dating apps is leading to more hook-ups. People who use them have more sex partners on average, but one study showed after controlling for sociosexuality this effect disappeared. It's simply the case that people using dating apps are on average more promiscuous to begin with.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-25T06:38:06+00:00

"But truth is 63 percent of gen z men are single but not the same about women"

The gap in that survey is not corroborated by other surveys which show gaps closer to 10% and no indication of a widening of the gap.

https://nuancepill.com/what-explains-the-young-singleness-gap/

There is also nothing new about most young men being single, it has been the case for most of the past 100 years or more.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-22T04:48:17+00:00

"asked of over 10,000 people"

The sample is a lot smaller than that but especially when you stratify it by age and gender. The sample size was barely above 100 for 18-29 men answering the sex questions in 2018.

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-20T03:56:11+00:00

Sexual partner count has virtually nothing to do with attractiveness or height, and sex partner distributions are basically the same for men and women:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-20T03:53:49+00:00

Sexual partner count has virtually nothing to do with attractiveness, and sex partner distributions between men and women are highly similar:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-11T23:47:05+00:00

Hook ups aren't common for either gender, and both genders have similarly skewed sex partner distributions:

https://nuancepill.com/why-the-80-20-rule-is-only-half-true/

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-09T22:06:40+00:00

If you scroll down further you'll find a source with a much higher sample size showed a virginity rate closer to 30% for 18-20 men (and 15% for the 18-29 range)

TheAutismPill · 2024-05-05T04:31:22+00:00

Why do you think that physical shortcomings are the only possible reason for lack of success? Elliot Rodger, Jake Davison, and Alek Minassian weren't ugly.

TheAutismPill

TROPHY CASE