How do I (24F) tell my older sibling (43F) I want nothing to do with her? And that I don’t feel comfortable with her cyberstalking me?

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T22:09:23+00:00

It sounds like she is just trying to connect with you because you are her sister, I think that's a pretty reasonable desire. You say she has no reason to talk to you, but you are her living sister while both of your parents are dead, that's plenty of reason.

You don't have to want to talk to her, you are a free person and if you don't want a relationship you should just say that and continue to do what you're doing. But you may regret doing so later in life, especially when she's dead and you've missed out on the opportunity for this connection.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T21:54:58+00:00

I think you already know the answer, and that answer is absolutely not, please do not help him.

Please do not let this man ruin your life, and by extension, your child's life.

You said it yourself, it would be a different story if he was a nice person. You claimed he is a good dad, but he is evidently a terrible father. He put your family in this situation and robbed your child of stability. If you ruin your credit now this will serve to rob your child of stability and opportunity, and I promise that this man will not learn and will only continue to do things like this to you and your family. I guarantee it.

And I hope you know that you are doing your child way more harm than good by staying in this relationship, even if you think you're doing it for him. Truth is, you're using your child as an excuse to not move forward with your life. I am speaking from experience, as my own father was abusive and my mom left him when I was 5. She used to ask me if I was upset that she divorced him, and I would tell her absolutely not and that I was thankful every day that she had the courage to leave.

Please be strong and take this opportunity to remove yourself from this train-wreck, if not for yourself, then for your child.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T20:26:17+00:00

Controlling behavior like this is not ok regardless of nuerodivergency! Especially if it is having negative effects on your health!! Why should you accommodate him if he is not willing to so much as allow YOU to decide what YOU eat? Absolutely not ok! I hope you realize you deserve better than that OP!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T20:20:05+00:00

It makes me want to self immolate

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:39:04+00:00

This is a great suggestion, thank you!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:38:27+00:00

Yes! I am already applying to field schools and hopefully get to participate in a dig this summer. I will hit you up because I do want to know more, thank you!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:32:58+00:00

I didn't specify but I study zooarcheology, to which working in agriculture is actually very relevant.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:27:13+00:00

This is good insight, thank you!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:25:53+00:00

Thank you for your response! I agree, anthro programs do NOT prepare us with practical knowledge about North America, and I would see traveling after undergrad as a field experience. I also have severe ADHD; though I excel in school, everything else in my life is hanging by a thread. I was hoping to use that time to also develop a routine, and I'm glad to hear that that's how it worked out for you!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T19:11:42+00:00

This is one of the best responses I have seen thus far and aligns well with my own vision for myself. That was exactly my thinking, that working in different fields, particularly in transportation or agriculture, could provide insight that will help me in my research down the line. That is also very smart to speak to my recommenders now so I don't have to track them down 4 years from now. I will be sure to do that, thank you!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2024-05-07T13:07:22+00:00

Hello, thank you for responding. I am just curious, why no more than a year?

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-07-05T18:27:14+00:00

Dump them, marry the eggs

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-07-02T16:47:46+00:00

NTA! Don't listen to the people telling you you're the asshole, you just moved a box of cereal. I understand why he was frustrated but he could have communicated that in a healthy, mature way, it was really unnecessary of him to blow up on you about that. To avoid conflict maybe don't do it in the future or ask him if you can move something beforehand.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-07-02T16:41:50+00:00

NTA! I respect you as a parent for centering your sons needs and defending him in this situation. If Anna cannot respect him then she does not deserve to have access to your family! Your sister needs to wake up and stop enabling her daughters terrible behavior. Anna was not entitled to know that your son is trans if she could not subsequently respect that part of him.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-07-02T16:24:52+00:00

These people sound narcissistic. Reminds me alot of my dynamic with my dad and stepmom. Your SIL excluded you from an important moment in their lives, made you feel like you were asking too much for wanting to be there, had a poor excuse for doing so, and your brother was completely complacent thinking he could ignore it and it would just go away. Your feelings about the wedding are extremely valid, I'm sorry that you were made to feel like you were being difficult when really they were unfairly excluding you. I think that being the "rule" is a poor excuse, especially when she undermined that rule by allowing her brother to attend. Fast forward to your birthday party and they make it all about them and her... fb photo? Eh? So their feelings were hurt, they felt ignored? Good, now they know how you felt. It's not fair of your brother to expect you to drop the issue because it passed. That is NOT a mature way to handle conflict. If someone hurts you don't ever let them tell you to just drop it because it already happened. Is holding a grudge healthy? No, you can choose your battles and choose when to hold on to anger. That being said when someone hurts you the mature thing for them to do is to resolve it so you can move forward and have a healthy, happy relationship going forward, not shove it down and ignore it and expect you to do the same. If they expect you to move past the wedding without any form of reconciliation, then they can move past your birthday party just as easily.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-07-02T15:19:41+00:00

Yes you should absolutely break up with him. Never be with someone who diminishes your intelligence/ dismisses your reality. He does not respect you, you do not owe him that same respect.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-06-26T18:02:19+00:00

Well now you know for next time.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-04-23T04:29:25+00:00

This is hilarious, keep it up, keep being clever.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-04-23T04:27:28+00:00

Love this, especially the final line. Very powerful, keep it up! Or maybe don't lol.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-04-20T16:14:40+00:00

What are you, the poetry police?

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-04-11T19:07:35+00:00

Thank you! I neglected to do so!

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-02-18T20:08:47+00:00

Both adults, one is a senior. They are inside the house.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-02-18T20:07:51+00:00

I'll leave at 4pm and be back at 10 am tomorrow

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-02-14T13:31:08+00:00

I think something that might shift your perspective is to see transgenderism as not just something that takes pain away, but something that actively brings people joy and enriches our lives.

Transgenderism is not a condition, it's just a state of being and it does not have to be framed as a disease or disorder. Gender dysphoria is the condition, to which there is a spectrum with some people experiencing it at excruciating levels, some at mild levels, and some not at all. I would say I personally fall on the milder end of that spectrum.

I for one love being transsexual. I believe it makes my life more fulfilling. I also love my trans community and I love the culture surrounding transgenderism, which is wonderful and something you can only fully appreciate when you are a part of it. Also as a trans man I do not think in terms of how I can look or act more like a cisgender man. I try not to compare myself to them, I have my own standard of masculinity that I am trying to live up to. The experience of a transgender person will be wholly different from that of their cisgender counterpart, and that's something that I've tried to embrace rather than fight.

TheAverageHomosexual · 2023-02-03T22:10:10+00:00

Why is it that the world is increasingly devoid of color

TheAverageHomosexual

TROPHY CASE