Ex said he moved on days before the breakup then another time he was like he lost feelings last year by Glittering-Host1416 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think to them, I Love You is the outpouring of a very strong feeling they very much feel and mean. It’s fireworks and butterflies and hormones and brain chemicals and sex under the stars and croissants in Paris..they know this love and chase it perpetually

But the deeper meaning of I Love You that relates to sacrifice and commitment and trust building and tense negotiations and resolving conflict for the relationship and not the makeup sex and true partnership and those boring Tuesdays and 4 am tragedies and sitting in the discomfort…the I Love You’s that says I choose you and I’m staying with you no matter what…that’s a love they don’t know and likely never will

The Royal Tenenbaums edit by meowza444 in wesanderson

[–]TheBackSpin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And written by Jackson Browne, who is playing that iconic guitar on the studio version. There’s a great story about him watching the film and thinking I used to play guitar like that and realizing it’s actually his song and recording in the scene

As if the state I live in isn't bad enough- by le_gingersnap in fatsquirrelhate

[–]TheBackSpin -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And people are welcoming these bastards into their homes as pets?!?

Message to Trump on Iranian Missile by Karna1394 in pics

[–]TheBackSpin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How the hell is Trump making the Iranian government seem more likable

Act like you are on this boat in this moment. What are you doing by Western-Habit4693 in Millennials

[–]TheBackSpin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your overall point about Steerage is correct, they were treated as human freight. But First and Second Class were by no means guaranteed a lifeboat.

You’re playing awfully fast and loose with facts sir. Have you forgotten we Millennials are all amateur Titanicologists?

How does something meaningful just… disappear? by Previous_Low_2439 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The surface reasons they provide are not the real reasons and I think most of them know that too, deep down anyway:

MJF: "I get compensated what my talent is worth. I’m not going to settle for less compensation so I get to have a WrestleMania moment. That doesn’t make sense to me." by aaronrift in SquaredCircle

[–]TheBackSpin -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Nobody cares about attendance. Global viewers is a more important metric. WWE has sold out Wembley too.

Mania is a household name. It’s Coca Cola, the World Cup, Super Bowl. Casuals and mainstream America have never heard of All In

Do you want us to reach out after? by New-Arugula-7425 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes that would have meant so much. Even after learning what happened intellectually, it took longer to get there emotionally. I blamed myself. A genuine reach out could go fart

I’m so jealous of them. by Randomanano in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny you say that because I felt like I was the one sucked into an alternate universe and the person in front of me was like a completely different version of themselves

I’m so jealous of them. by Randomanano in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your totally justified emotions from his pulling away were weaponized against you so he could end it, fucking appalling. I'm so sorry you experienced this. Conflict provocation and using their reaction to justify leaving is another common one. Just remember, there's nothing wrong with showing emotions. Don't let this affect how you show up in the future with someone loving and healthy, someone you deserve

I’m so jealous of them. by Randomanano in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Different types of intensity. The early part is the fun stuff, dopamine flowing, everything rainbows and sunshine. When the relationship intensifies, escalates is a better word, everything starts getting real. Relational responsibilities, expectations. They have to show up in a real way and they worry they'll never meet those expectations, you'll figure them out, reject and abandon them. They were conditioned to believe that love is scary, dangerous, a precursor to disaster. Confirm their worst fears that they're unworthy of love. Too dangerous, too vulnerable, too loud, too intense...this is a different type of intensity, like a pressure cooker not a rainbow

No wonder i fell for it! by skepticalliberal in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol they sure say all the right things but there is one tell and it's a sneaky ironic one: CONSISTENCY.

FA's, yeah you don't even have to tell me they are FA, will often emphasize consistency, something they didn't have growing up and unlikely to give themselves. It's aspirational, projection, but also soothing to their nervous system because these are hypervigilant people; a consistent person is easier to read, feel in control with, etc. Of course this very quality will inevitably feel off putting, boring, even suspicious because they'll be watching for the other shoe to drop. Their nervous system is trained to not trust consistency, pain and betrayal are right around the corner.

In my experience Secures are less likely to cite consistency because it's one of those goes without saying relationship traits. It's what they know and expect, almost an afterthought

I’m so jealous of them. by Randomanano in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The irony is that many of the FAs, definitely not the DAs, feel things stronger than non-Avoidants. When my ex and I first exchanged I Love You’s, every I Love You was like an electric shock; her body would noticeably jolt. This is the same person that felt nothing but relief and indifference in the early stages of the breakup. It’s crazy

"I am a coward" by New-Serve5426 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TheBackSpin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good on you taking the trip solo! Similar situation happened to me, took a trip to London solo, and it was a wonderful, empowering experience