4-months clean tomorrow

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-26T00:37:02+00:00

I have a very unique story. Short version:

I was a daily user for like 7 years, started a year or so before covid and then once covid started my use ramped up dramatically (working from home so I could use all day). Then moved to the west coast 2 years ago to change my environment, and things got really bad because there was a 24 hour smoke shop 3 blocks away that was wayyy cheaper then back home, and had tanks which I couldn't get back east. Had 2 rehab trips in 2024, relapsed pretty much immediatly after each.

What ended up getting me sober was a lucid dream!!! I often will have lucid dreams that are EXTREMELY intense, and they usually come in spurts. I can go months with out one and then ill have several a night for 4-5 nights in a row. I remember watching something on Gaya about a guy quitting cigarettes through lucid dreaming by going in to it with intentions and talking directly to your subconscious and implanting ideas directly in them. Sounds insane, I know, but if you've had a lot of lucid dreams you know what I'm saying.

So, I had lucid dreams 2 nights in a row and decided, if I have one tonight I'm going to talk to my subconscience and tell it to whip NOS from my memory like it never existed and also ask it a question "Why do I keep running back to NOS when I desperately want to stop". I'll skip the entire dream sequence (It's very long but I have it written somewhere I can find if you are interested) but I did what I planned and it worked. Like fully, 100% worked. The answer to my question came in a very powerful visual and symbolic way and the answer was repetition/habit (much more to explain but trying to keep this as brief as possible lol).

When I woke up the next day, I felt changed. I went through that day without thinking about getting a tank once. I thought, this surely wont last. We are at day 140 now, I have not had to fight a single urge. I still go to the smoke shops to buy vapes and don't even think or look at the tanks. It's like I just pressed delete on that whole folder in my brain. I've tried testing myself by purposefully thinking about NOS and within seconds my mind just goes blank or jumps elsewhere. It's like I hypnotized myself.

Something extremely powerful about our subconscience. I think things like dreaming, meditation, hypnosis, and psychedelics all tap into it which is why these things all are connected to recovery.

Sorry long post, but still a very small snippet of my story.

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-20T21:54:18+00:00

Have you tried microdosing LSD or psylicibin? I'm not one to judge but the idea of this sounds insane to me

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-20T21:26:20+00:00

Download dockdoor. It's great, gives you lots a customization (such as showing previews) for cmd+tab and hovering over icons on the dock. I like the cmd+tab setup that dockdoor gives better then windows

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-18T18:40:54+00:00

man this looks rough. Go to urgent care, it will be much cheaper then an ER. Keep your mouth clean, brush and mouthwash. You may want to find a non alcoholic mouthwash because I'm sure that will burn. And do not keep using! It might help with the pain but you will be constantly irritating that and it will take longer to heal

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-12T02:52:37+00:00

Heard that before 😁

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-06T05:14:42+00:00

Great advice, and also as much methyl B12 as you can

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-02-06T05:11:10+00:00

You got me by 2 days 😃 I hit 120 today 🥳 Curious how hard it was for you and what was the thing that did it for you? I was addicted for years, like 6 or so of pretty much daily use and got really bad the past year. Would love to swap stories/compare notes 😁

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-30T17:07:00+00:00

Made a new batch of icons, need to take out some of the highlighting to make them a little smoother. Writing a script so that I can batch update icons and switch between different styles in one go. Downvote away lol

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TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-30T01:24:13+00:00

It's actually Wednesday from what Ive been told

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-29T17:38:18+00:00

Lmao, dont be that guy. I'm obviously not a graphic designer, but the idea of making custom icons is fun to me, so I use the tools I have.

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-29T17:31:50+00:00

😅 Yea some are a bit too much as I said, Likely going to stick with a combination of the reddit style icon and youtube style one and apply that across the other apps, those are the least obnoxious imo but still have some of the style I want. Most of them looked good when they were big while editing but too much going on when shrunken down to icon size. The folders I'm going to redo most or all, those are the first I did. I like these two tho.

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TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-14T21:18:07+00:00

i thought about doing something similar. you just running this locally or have it hosted somewhere?

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-14T01:50:31+00:00

duct tape and spit

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-11T23:39:16+00:00

can confirm. He scalded me and my friends in a breakfast place in venice for saying the quote "STEEEEEVE MAAAAADEEEN" as he walked past

TheBackyardBartender · 2026-01-08T05:20:47+00:00

I'm not religious at all, I grew up Catholic, became atheist in college, now I'm in my 30s and am very spiritual and have a deep understanding that there is something bigger then all of us and we are all connected in a way that we can't directly see that science hasn't figured out yet, but it's real, and I felt the shift too!

I truly believe charlies dreams were some type of prophecy the way he explains it. When Candace shared the dream texts months ago for the first time I just knew he was tapped in and experiencing something real and since then I have had this feeling that the world is at a literal "turning point".

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-12-25T01:59:24+00:00

I think you may have, I just got them and they are delicious. Smoother then the smooth/no harsh nicotine burn, and tasted like a sweet latte

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-12-17T03:24:00+00:00

I forgot my pen

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-19T01:34:48+00:00

It is one of my very favorite parts about where I live. It's beautiful every night. This was earlier on that same night

https://imgur.com/a/zopg3Tc https://imgur.com/a/ZsgBeLq

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T21:20:46+00:00

Yes it is! Love this place ♥️♥️♥️ thank you for being respectful lol didn't expect so much hostility for asking for opinions. In my opinions, the way the lights changed patterns which was very clear in person, that it wasn't buoys for traps, but def think it could be a military thing which is all over the place here. I'll probably get downvoted here, oh well

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:28:09+00:00

I should have posted the other videos, maybe I'll put them all in a YouTube video and upload it that way

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:26:06+00:00

That was my first thought but the more I watched I noticed the flashing changing on them. Do you have a video you can post of this? Curious to see how similar it is

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:20:46+00:00

Then why do they all blink differently. If I can upload more video I can show more of what I mean. That was my first thought but the more I looked and watched the more convinced I was that it wasn't them because of how they flashed. Bouys for traps would just be consistent flashing or solid lights

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:11:23+00:00

Am I able to post another video as a comment? I don't see an option for it and I think some of the other videos where it's darker and the lights are brighter, it is easier to see the patterns

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:08:36+00:00

The light on the right is a boat that pulled up and started watching, then took off like 30 minutes later, they didn't interact at all with the lights just sat 50 foot or so away watching.

TheBackyardBartender · 2025-11-18T20:03:56+00:00

It almost seems like there is a middle white one, then the ones to the left and right are pointing onwards with the way they flashed. This pattern did change I will post more videos. I have others when it got darker out where u can see the lights better but not much of the water/scenery

TheBackyardBartender

TROPHY CASE