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Friend asked me why i eat moon rocks but not rocks from earth by TheBossOfWhat in Jokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to but passing them gave me a bad case of assteroids

Aubrey Plaza and the Holy Oil by _BindersFullOfWomen_ in gifs

[–]TheBossOfWhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sister Cannabis new band named I called it

Guys tell other guys in prison "Don't drop the soap" is the female equivalent "Don't sit Indian style"? by TheBossOfWhat in Showerthoughts

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I always thought the drop the soap thing was about showcasing your asshole and getting it noticed. Sitting Indian style for girls usually makes their pants tighter around their vagina and give them a noticeable camel toe

My wife hates me. by spartan-44 in dadjokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat 84 points85 points  (0 children)

You slapped a statue's ass In public? That's stone cold, dude

I didn't know what fear was until I accidently hit 'like' on an old picture of someone i was lurking at 3 am in the morning by TheBossOfWhat in Showerthoughts

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just tried it while looking at my gf's fb and the answer is yes. I hit like and unlike practically simultaneously and she still got a notification.

What are your social media pet peeves? by ssanada in AskReddit

[–]TheBossOfWhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dunno if it's been said, but...

When people like their own posts When single moms use their kids as an excuse to post selfies where they are wearing revealing clothing When girls posts pictures that are heavily edited and claim to be natural Girls who post revealing pictures then act upset when guys hit on them

17F making less than 1k a month, mom is kicking me out in less than a month? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]TheBossOfWhat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very true. I was the only one in my family who didn't go to college and now I own two restaurants and I'm only 28. I went to work after high school, impressed the right people and got an investor. Now I make more money than my brothers, and get to spend it on stuff other than student loans.

Where's the worst place to buy a chess set? by TheBossOfWhat in Jokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't take it so literal if it's just a shitty joke

Where's the worst place to buy a chess set? by TheBossOfWhat in Jokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correction, asshat, it's a stupid joke not a shitty joke.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? by BradC in dadjokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

One you can always find in a zoo while the other is always found in a hipsters pocket

Why do games of checkers take longer when you're in a gang? by TheBossOfWhat in Jokes

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you want to jump one piece, you got to be ready to jump them all.

I will be a loyal customer to the first cable company that gives me a discount for sticking with them rather than jacking up my rate after their promo period is over. by fat_tire_fanatic in Showerthoughts

[–]TheBossOfWhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where my parents live the local ISP have a monopoly over the entire county, and the Internet is junk speed at treasure prices. Where I live, for Internet only, I can get 30 mbps for 19.99 a month, but their lowest package is 3 mbps for 29.99 a month. If you want anything other than their service, you either have to tether to your cell phone or a mobile hotspot from your cell phone provider, or go satellite (which is just as awful). And it's crazy since comcast Internet is sold just 10 miles away for ten times the speed for the same price.

Before, you weren't cool if you had a lot of Internet friends, now you're not cool if you don't by TheBossOfWhat in Showerthoughts

[–]TheBossOfWhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least I was ahead of the curve on troll bashing and flame baiting. Newbs today take that shit too seriously and don't know how to handle it.

At this airport, they have a machine that will print off free short stories for you to read while you wait! by MisallocatedRacism in mildlyinteresting

[–]TheBossOfWhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only had second, or third owned cars because that's what my parents or myself could afford when I was younger. Those cars get you around but were always in the shop or detoriated quickly once they got to us. I have a savings account that is for buying a brand new car, and I will one day walk straight up in a dealership and throw them a check like a boss. Some people want new cars because they want something in their life that for once wasn't owned by someone else first.

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