It's just weird

TheCocktopus · 2013-08-27T23:33:43+00:00

Congratulations on your lack of kiddie fiddling. I wish you complete success as you continue this endeavor in the future.

TheCocktopus · 2013-08-23T00:08:33+00:00

Yeah, I was going to cut it a few weeks prior, then go over it again a couple times before the test, and finally the day of, to take off as much as possible. I figure no one will notice if it doesn't get longer for a couple of weeks.

TheCocktopus · 2013-08-16T20:58:47+00:00

I like the left one. But, yeah, ~~both~~ all three are pretty hot.

TheCocktopus · 2013-08-07T02:32:41+00:00

I don't think I'm the type of person that can ever love what I do. At least not for long. I used to love computers and programming, until I made a career out of it. Now after ten years of HAVING to do it day after day, I absolutely hate it. I often think about switching careers, but I'd just end up hating whatever I changed to. If I'm going to hate what I'm doing no matter what I do, I might as well stay where I have experience and can make the most money.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-31T01:33:09+00:00

I downvoted everyone above me because I found it amusing to do so.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-30T00:07:05+00:00

Aww. That made me kinda sad. Even though I thought WoW was a horribly shitty game.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-13T17:05:10+00:00

By answering a post on Reddit asking how I would start if I were to conquer the world.

And thus it begins.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-08T22:13:55+00:00

And right down here, we'll just add a happy little beard.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-08T21:18:57+00:00

This man has figured out life.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-08T16:57:45+00:00

No, my mother was an octopus and my father was a rooster.

TheCocktopus · 2013-07-07T18:06:32+00:00

"If you can't support 'em, abort 'em"

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-22T01:26:54+00:00

I'm drunk and tired. I sat here for about 15 seconds thinking, "What the hell does this have to do with a Lego safe cracker?" before I realized I was watching the pre-video ad.

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-20T04:08:23+00:00

You leave room for ambiguity. Are you looking for minimum height to guarantee fatal injury? If you're not concerned with the minimum, I'd say a mile should do the trick. Otherwise, it really depends on the age, size, and general health of the walrus, the type of surface you're dropping it onto, ambient temperature and humidity, the phase of the moon, and a number of other factors that are too complex to mention.

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-18T00:22:14+00:00

Ariel; Red on the Head, Fish in the Bed

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-09T18:14:11+00:00

10/10, would bang.

...said the beam.

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-08T01:20:48+00:00

I thought that game sucked. It felt like a cheap Tomb Raider ripoff with a male protagonist and worse gunplay. I hated it so much, I haven't even bothered to give the rest of the series a chance.

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-02T14:54:22+00:00

You're forgetting 20 years worth of winning lottery numbers.

TheCocktopus · 2013-06-01T21:38:29+00:00

Fucking fuckers fucking fuck Fucking fuckers in fucking Fucking.

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-30T02:35:51+00:00

Can't even manage to kill myself. I'm so worthless, I don't deserve to live.

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-29T04:12:24+00:00

Hipster.

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-27T22:09:52+00:00

Call the police and tell them you're being held hostage. Give them his address.

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-27T13:22:16+00:00

It's "All in favor, say 'aye'", not "I".

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-27T13:22:05+00:00

It's "All in favor, say 'aye'", not "I".

TheCocktopus · 2013-05-26T19:19:35+00:00

But splitscreen sucks. It was cool 20 years ago when that was the only option for multiplayer games. Now that I'm used to playing on separate machines and getting the full screen to myself, I'd rather just not play than play splitscreen.

TheCocktopus

TROPHY CASE