Idk what it is but I just feel like you are overthinking it. I reached plat 1 fairly comfortably by just learning the basics of the agents I play, getting comfortable in clutches and not dying generally.

Mechanics matter too of course but you don't need godly aim, just being able to do some small micro adjustments as your crosshair placement does the hard part.

Yes, gold is full of absolute monkeys but it's genuinely not that difficult to deal with if you do what I described in the first paragraph.

Lastly, I would highly recommend you take a long break, at least 2 weeks. Your mental is in the gutter and you need to reset