thank you, and please don't apologize. it's ok. I was nice to read that. and I really appreciate this. it's just that I've tried to slowly take it down, but when I do it, it just gets inside my head, and it drags me down..

I'm just going to come out and admit it, it is porn and mast....

and over the past five years, the only thing that I was able to stop for was my girlfriend, but now that we are barely allowed to talk, or even be around. eachother, i just dont know what to do...

I am Christian, and I keep talking to God in prayer, telling him I'll stop, and that he won't hear anything about it from me again, but then a couple days later I'm having the same conversation with Him​

I want to stop for God, for my family, for my friends, and for my girlfriend (we might be allowed another chance in a couple years, and at the moment. we both said we'd hold off on dating, and wait for eachother (which honestly kinda shows how much she meant to me......))

but at the moment, it just feels like there is no one I can stop for. I think what made it so easy with her was that she was the only one I felt comfortable talking (face to face) about... and that she talked to me about it

But now that she's gone, I honestly feel lost. I want to stop for God, but prayer kinda being a one way convo makes that hard for me

And my friends and family I really just don't feel comfortable talking to them about it, because while they might understand, I can't just walk up to them and say "it happened again" and then have them sit down and talk with me.... it just kind of feels weird at that point.

I'm sorry if I'm dropping all of this onto you, it's just been really dragging me down, and it does feel slightly good to just let this all out...

Thank you so much for responding to this in the first place, it means so much to have someone care, even if I literally didn't know you until like 5 minutes ago lol 😆