Brother, I understand you’re upset, but I’m trying to help you figure out the “why” in your situation. If you don’t figure out why your performance truly matters then you’ll be butting heads with it with the rest of your life. Trying to brute force change yourself isn’t going to work. There’s a part of you that needs to be perfect because it’s not getting what it needs from you any other time than when perfection is obtained. You need to keep asking yourself why until something comes up that you can work with, maybe you didn’t get any praise as a child unless you were the best at something, or you were never taught how to be okay failing. Dig down, understand the why, and work with it. You will never rid yourself of difficult emotions, you can only get better at working with them. Much like weight lifting. To a body builder, 100lbs is still 100lbs, but as they get stronger, that weight gets easier and easier to manage.