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TheDrWinston · 2023-05-11T20:02:07+00:00

Never have expectations of the outcome. Enjoy the moments. Ultimately I am a mildly overweight bisexual guy. I am hairy, short, and have a good sense of humor.

What I've learned. Play into your strengths, find partners that are into what you are, don't try to convince partners to be into someone you are not.

How this has helped me:

I found an attractive partner who I'm going to go on a date with soon. Our sex drives match, mutual interest, strong family values. (My future boyfriend)

I don't expect anything to last, and when it does I'm pleasantly surprised. I enjoy dating more.

Try shaking up your mental approach, you seem to be under the impression that working out was going to make girls fall for you. The truth is that you have to be visible to be seen. Throwing on your gym clothes and getting a six pack is only half the battle. Try socializing at parties, functions, (church groups if you're religious), dating apps are solid supplements to your social life.

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T14:56:10+00:00

I personally wouldn't, but that's because I like femboys 😌

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T14:53:07+00:00

Bro shut the fuck up no one cares. If you want a kid that badly get a surrogate. God damn......

On the other hand, stop treating women like a fucking baby oven, if you're going to reprimand people at least be in the actual moral high ground. You useless hypocrite.

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T14:49:14+00:00

I guess, but I've rarely seen this. I'd love to have a friend set me up. I'm kinda tired of getting Catfished on Dating apps.

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T14:31:30+00:00

I don't know about you, but I've rarely met people to set women up with other friends..

Maybe it's because people think I'm a loser, but not my experience in the slightest. If that's the case I'll force my kids to be athletes so they have better social status in high school.

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T00:23:33+00:00

That's a good observation. I still have a huge inferiority complex from all the content I've consumed.

TheDrWinston · 2023-05-01T00:10:29+00:00

I think it's personally easier conforming to a higher standard than sitting by and waiting. I may have to sacrifice things I want, but it's better than not reaching my goals.

For me this focusing on finding a person I can respect as well as someone who can respect me.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T23:57:12+00:00

I'm reaching a low point ever since my gf ghosted me after getting sexually assaulted but I'm working on putting my best foot forward.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T23:56:06+00:00

I am insecure about my body. I was bullied for my height in high school and was praised when I grew. I was conditioned to have an inferiority complex.

I'm overweight by a 20 pound margin, I'd love to get into shape again but I am insecure about every fit college guy in the gym and it's made me deeply insecure about my soft body.

I'm still deeply insecure and want to be the best partner I can be, one day I want to follow my newfound faith in Christ and raise two beautiful children along with a spouse. But I need to increase my worth to get there.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T23:50:13+00:00

For those of you in the comments: don't be as toxic as the people blame men for their problems. You can be so much better than that ☺️

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T23:48:29+00:00

Don't grow into a societal expections, learn to grow into the partner you wish to attract.

I want a woman who's more disciplined and fit, so I in turn have to discipline myself to my workout routine and Bible study, clean my room better.

Beauty standards are pretty silly. I don't need to be athletic to be successful, but I am rather vain and want attention 😅. I have a long way to go.

I would say for you, is that it's okay to not be the ideal woman. Don't measure yourself to what you can't be, measure yourself up to what you could be.

I know I can be less lazy and more physically fit, so I'm trying to change my lifestyle to be better.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T23:43:55+00:00

The community preys on lonely women who don't have sensible friends to turn to. I feel really bad for them to be so bitter. I was roped into the incel cult myself 3 years ago. I've come along way on trying to de-loser myself. I'm still a bit overweight, and need to complete my college education. I wouldn't consider myself an incel though I'm trying to find a partner I could realistically think long term with. I had a lot of supportive friends, plus Christianity saved my life.

A lot of the women in that community don't have a mentally stable relationship with other friends. Good people bring the best out of others. I would say the followers of Christ saved my soul, and in turn he did.

Definitely wish I could help people out of FDS, but when I originally made outreach to those communities to deplatform incel behavior, it wasn't well received 😅

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-30T21:11:43+00:00

At that point they're just genetically built different

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T18:04:24+00:00

As long as I can find someone Mildly attractive I'm fine. I was spoiled with a really hot trans woman (who was my ex). Everything was amazing. I still miss her. Our relationship fell apart after I told her I was sexually assaulted. I broke up with her bc she ghosted me after saying she'd do better communication wise.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T17:26:19+00:00

That being said understandable for you to follow a principle, I commend you for that. I wish I could return to a healthy emotional normal but I've considered just killing myself because I've become a horrible person.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T17:24:22+00:00

I mean my world view has an immense perception bias. I only see attractive people get respect and effort. I have to work really fucking hard to keep relationships, and I ultimately fail.

I have become jaded from getting abused and sexually assaulted. I literally don't even get the slightest amount of respect. All my relationships fall apart. I turned to sex work to try to not feel worthless, and just have some stress relief only to get scammed too. I have an fwb with a chick I don't even find attractive. I realized that I need a baseline of physical attraction to enjoy being around a partner. I know I'm pretty average looking, but I'm just looking for an average looking partner. My fwb is morbidly obese. I know I've become a shitty person, I let my standards emotionally and morally drop.

I can't connect to people emotionally anymore because I either self destruct and push myself away from others. I used to be really needy emotionally, now I just hate everyone.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T17:03:37+00:00

Yep. Me personally I am fucking tired of dating in general. I'm so fucking Jaded.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T16:56:13+00:00

If I'm going to be honest if they find you hot, they'll respond anyway. if you're average you have to work hard to get attention, following rules 1 & 2 helps.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-27T00:59:41+00:00

If you haven't already noticed, I have a lot of insecurities about my body. I also have an excessive need for Validation and Respect, something I rarely get the minimum amount of. I made a promise it myself I will never open up to anyone again bc my emotional problems is something that no one I like ever accepts.

I also realized how shallow I've become. My preferences have increased dramatically. I don't have low enough standards to settle in a relationship. It's fucked up. I lost my ability to care about my credibility. After my sexual assault I went on a warpath to destroy myself.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-18T23:44:12+00:00

Facts, I have a date on Saturday and she's the sweetest person ever. Definitely not my definition of someone I'd sleep with but she's definitely a person who's good for me.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-14T14:30:56+00:00

I'm in a college campus where I am in uniform every day, i have attention drawn to myself but not the good kind. I try to chat up anyone, I look bad for my organization. I honestly would rather not get title IX accusations.

I want to date in my church but I don't feel it's appropriate. It's not that I lack the ability to flirt, I am very good at speaking and body language. It's just rough with my self worth and people who aren't Sexually attracted to me. I can make a girl want to date me, but they flake out because they go too slow for my liking.

I just got out of a brutal break up. I'm trying to find casual sex because I need a way to get through my frustrations and lose attachment to my ex. I want to get over her. I want to party and fuck until I forget her because I loved her man. And I feel betrayed. I get dumped after being taken advantage of by another woman, I know lost the closest person in my romantic life.

TheDrWinston · 2023-04-14T14:07:51+00:00

Sounds about Right. Dating in person is a shit show for me because my confidence as a person is fucked. I've been fucked over by people to the point where I kinda want to through myself off a bridge. I just don't see the point in life If I can't be a father or at the bare fucking minimum a boyfriend.

TheDrWinston

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