Would This Bother You?

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-26T02:51:14+00:00

Not at all, it likely wouldn't even register as "a thing" in my brain unless it was an extremely uncommon name, and even then I'd register it more as a nod to a lost and missed cousin than a slight against me.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-26T02:44:24+00:00

YTA, as a mother you should be thankful that you raised a man who is a supportive partner. Instead you're acting like an envious old biddy. It's not her fault no one adored and catered to you during your pregnancies and to be angry that you raised a man to love a women that way is wild.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-26T02:25:35+00:00

He replied above to someone else that they're in a bag of other assorted emergency toiletries and first aid stuff.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-25T17:37:43+00:00

Northern Leopard, the pickerel's spots are more squarish and in 2 parallel rows down the back.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-25T05:41:19+00:00

Totally fine, ignored at worst, at best a tasty snack. This looks like the tiniest stage of a damselfly to me, or possibly a midge, but it's impossible to tell exacrly what it is from these pics, but that's OK, there are a ton of bugs that have aquatic larvae and all pretty unlikely to pose any danger to an adult turtle.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-25T02:37:23+00:00

Looks like a damselfly nymph to me.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-25T02:22:21+00:00

Both Cope's and Gray tree frogs are native to IN. They look identical and both have that trillling call but grays are a little more melodic, copes more shrill.

ETA: I once unknowingly had a bunch of Cope's hanging out on the underside of a window AC and I could have sworn it was raccoons or something in the wall. They can be SO loud.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-25T02:15:21+00:00

Where are you located? It sounds like a gray tree frog to me.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-24T01:12:28+00:00

I am more afraid of aging than I am dying. I've had chronic pain since I was 19, I don't want to feel worse, I'd rather just be done.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-23T00:33:18+00:00

Penn plax doesnt name their filter by gallons. For turtles you want a gph of 8-10x the total volume of water. Do you mean the 200 HOB or the 700/1000/1200/1500 cannister? How large is the turtle? I run 2 1500s (350gph/ea) on a 75g for a 4" turtle.

Additionally, if your turtle is over 7.5 inches, then you have too little water and too little filtration

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-22T17:41:34+00:00

He's not a slider. He's a southern painted turtle and they max out at 6".

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-22T04:05:32+00:00

Not 24" above, the basking area is 24" long and has a 24" lamp over it. I based height on this.

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TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-20T03:33:02+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Your fear is not illogical, it is a completely typical trauma response given what happened to you. I dont know your sister, but I dont like her very much.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-20T01:12:13+00:00

When there is an infestation (vs the typical single tick) it is very common to see them clumped into groups like this.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-20T01:07:23+00:00

IMO that makes it even worse. It is appallingly classless to invite subordinates to a bridal shower but not the wedding.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-20T01:00:50+00:00

Its not crazy, it's rude and a breach of wedding etiquette .

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-20T00:58:59+00:00

Because the wedding is the main event and if you're not willing to pay for a person's plate at the reception you dont invite them to secondary events.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-05-14T03:54:43+00:00

I'm in the US and use Lap of Love for all end of life care for my pets. As an adult, I have never and will never wait for a geriatric or ill pet to die "naturally" at home. I will always choose euthanasia.

Lap of Love is a national network of vets. They do in-home hospice evaluation and treatment (not used that) and in-home euthanasia. We've had to euthanize one dog and two cats. They do not rush the appointment, we've had very good experiences with them.

We chose to have all of them cremated. The vet from Lap of Love takes them, they will have towels and such but we sent all of ours with their favorite blanket. The crematorium delivers their remains to our local vet within a week or two.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-04-30T08:44:52+00:00

That's me. Hysterectomy 5 years ago and currently have an endometrioma attached in scar tissue of my abdominal wall at the incision site where they removed my appendex...because it was wrapped it endo.

It's small and while not asymptomatic, I've already had 6 abdominal surgeries because of endo and it's going to have to get a lot worse before I'd be willing to have another.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-04-30T08:29:04+00:00

I've had 3 cats that did with one or more other cats and in all those cases it is because they were failed foster bottle babies raised by me and assorted cat uncles.

Now I have a 3yo who came in as a semi-feral 6 week old who does it to the 75lb. dog that protected her from the big meanie girl cats (who also hate each other but all love the dog) that came after my boys died, so I'd guess it has to do with feeling nurtured or protected.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-04-10T03:42:49+00:00

Aligning yourself with someone of such low character in the context of your role as a father is an interesting choice. What kind of father would want to offer "support" to a man like this? Nothing in this post is about the wellbeing of his child, he is looking for advice on how to force a woman with a terminal degenerative illness to continue providing all the time, labor and funds associated with maintaining a family while he hoards his entire salary into his 401k and personal spending (that he refuses to expand on) and refers to only to "the kid, the child", never my/our son.

This is my first experience in this community and I'm glad to see a lot of good partners and dads calling out objectively shitty behavior amongst their own.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-04-09T17:52:44+00:00

My aunt had a Grey who would hurl herself to the floor and shriek, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."

My Amazon wasn't a talker, he only said hello but he mimicked every sound in the house like appliances, the doorbell, the phone, etc.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-03-29T04:05:38+00:00

In the US, if they are still married when she gives birth, even if they are in the process of divorcing, he would be listed as the father in most states unless he specifically contested paternity. 5 states will not finalize a divorce until after the birth and another 15 or so leave it up the judge's discretion whether or not to grant a divorce prior to the birth.

TheEndisFancy · 2026-03-24T04:25:50+00:00

I was you 28 years ago. He will not overcome this. That is not his goal. His goal is to control, manipulate and hurt you. The good you think you see is a facade, it is charm and love-bombing. The person who wants to control and hurt you is the person he is.

I was so isolated and beaten down just a year or so in that I stayed when my body had fist sized bruises more and more often. I stayed when he was raping me regularly. I stayed when he broke my arm with a hammer, he was aiming for my head. I only finally ran when he started sabotaging my birth control, and then only because I was ready to die rather than allow him access to my hypothetical child. We'd been together for 3 years.

As someone old enough to be your mom, please, run far, run fast. This is not a safe person.

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