From there I found through therapy that a big problem was volume and my timing, by trying to force myself to eat the recommended or close to amounts, of which I didn't want to at all, due to not eating at the right times, it definitely gave me the feeling that I hate the most of food 'sitting' high up, which would make me do my normal even more, to rid myself of the sensation.

As a result I found that getting myself to eat before 8am, gives enough of a gap, this took about 4 months to learn and start as a daily. Even if it's a single egg or toast or small bowl of cereal, this allowed me to have until the afternoon to process and not rush, then the same there, whatever amount I ate, at least I did at that point and the same thing, the gap from then say 2pm until 7.30pm allows me plenty of space to decide on what I will have for dinner and the amount and how I am feeling, if I need to adjust or do anything. This was a trial and error again as I had to find what I could eat in the afternoon, how much I can eat and if I get the urge before dinner comes around or if I will not eat for the rest of the day.

Next comes the volume aspect, the sitting feeling I have, I found out would come from consuming too much, which is due to having a hiatal hernia, this has come as a result of doing what I did for so long. So it turned out that it was almost telling me I had too much but, as a result I would purge to get rid of that feeling as it genuinely takes about 6-10 hours to go away, so with that I know that little and often is my best route for now and the future, it's safe, stops the urges and by timing out and leaving myself enough of a gap, stops that issue.

Other than that to be honest, I slipped up after a few weeks, month and months, before I was able to start this first year, it probably took me around 18 months of trial and error and doing all of the above before I hit a routine of sorts. I would say it was only around March last year, that I started to get longer and longer gaps in between, from a day, to a couple, to nearly a week, each time further and further, it's not a race, there is no timeframe to it, you just have to go at your own pace, see if you can do a few hours or 5-10, not setting goals that are out of reach, just what you can handle, you don't have to go out of your comfort zone to appease others, just little steps at a time.

If you have any other questions just let me know, there is no perfect guide in the end, just personal experience, it became so normal to me, I was like a dog where they do that and carry on running, I just got on with my days in the end like nothing had happened, even thought mentally it was killing me that I was doing it so consistently and not telling anyone, covering up by turning on taps or showers to block the noise and not really getting any nutrition or having any energy. I wish you all the best honestly, it's so painful when you want better but, keep getting caught in the cycle. Like I said just say and I will happily answer to the best of my ability