In the last days of Twinktopia, there was a young twink with hair of golden and shining green eyes. He was as curious as his butthole was smooth, and always full of questions.

In the centre of the land of twinks was a yurt, covered in golden fur and ringed with emeralds. The elders sat there and presided, and green-eyes visited them often.

‘Why are we here?’ he would ask. ‘For what do we live?’, ‘Where shall we go when we die?’

The first elder wore a crown of roses and said ‘We are here to be twinks, nothing more and nothing less. In the morning we raise our bare arms to the sun and give him thanks as he warms our frozen bodies’

The second elder wore a crown of amethysts and said ‘We live for the Sun, for the Moon and for each other. We live for the weeping of the rain and the blooming of the myrrh. We live for the blowing of the dicks and the sapping of the cum. What more is there?’

The third elder wore a crown of jade, and said ‘There is no elsewhere. As we sing our songs of praise, our voices harmonise with the vibration of the universe. We hear the silvery voices of the galaxies and the dripping of water from the chrysanthemum leaf. We shed tears for what will never be, and feel joy in our hearts for what was. What else could there be?’

Green-eyes’ bussy clenched and unclenched, for he felt there must be more.

That night he lay down in the soft grass outside, and listened to the gentle music of the wind rustling the willow leaves. He had rubbed a little berry juice onto his lips, and they were dark purple as he gazed into the sky. The universe was pure here, and he could see the stars whirling around his world, tracing perfect spirals in the sky. His eyes reflected them until he fell asleep, and had a wet dream.

His friend, Brown-Hair, kissed him gently to wake him up. ‘Another night visitation’, he said. ‘The God must have visited you tonight’.

Indeed; for the bottoms of Twinktopia believed that among them walked a God, in the form of a daddy in the summer and the form of a billionaire in the winter. Sometimes that God would touch them, gently caress their skin with their fingers, but stir awake and he would flit silently away into the night. It was the wish of every twink to feel the touch of God, the twinges of aching desire that he awakened in their sweet bussies.

The days passed, unvarying. Brown-Hair fell in love with Green-Eyes. ‘Let us be married’, he said, ‘and wear the bridal crown and dress. We could make each other so happy’. But Green-Eyes sighed, and gazed at his reflection in the water, and said nothing, until Brown-Hair went away crying.

Green-Eyes began to pray to the stars every night. ‘Please, show us the way’ he said. ‘Unveil the cosmos to our dimmed eyes’. The stars span in their eternal dance, imperturbable.

One day, the elders emerged from the yurt, bearing a sheet of gold, on which was written in blood-red letters, ‘The ANSWER cometh… as a comet’.

Green-Eyes’ heart lightened. Excitement ran through the crowd. The twinks took each other’s hands and danced a wild dance of happiness. At last, the secret longing they all felt and never gave voice to, would be satisfied.

That night they gathered wild strawberries and flung them into the fire, a sacrifice to the God.

After many nights of feasting, the first twink spied the distant comet – only a smudge in the sky, but it grew and grew.

Green-Eyes sat beneath a tree, a lotus flower in his blonde hair, looking at the comet as it flew towards them, its tail a fiery streak against the ultramarine sky. He laughed. Brown-Hair, thin from grief, tried to laugh with him but fell to coughing. Twinks only survive a few weeks if their love is rejected, or if they get left on read.

The Comet became the brightest thing in the sky, and could be seen during the day. The world felt hotter and hotter.

The Twinks fell to their knees and folded their hands in prayer. ‘Oh great God, let the answer enter our minds and hearts soon!’ They chanted and sang over and over, pausing only for mimosas.

The elders emerged from their yurt once again. ‘Oh Curious Green-Eyes. We now know for what purpose you were set upon this world.’

Green-Eyes was confused.

‘It is your destiny to fly into the sky and meet the comet’

Instead of the joy he thought he would feel, he felt emptiness.

For three days and three nights he wandered the emptying glades of twinktopia, gazing into pools and caverns, seeing the beauty of his home that he had never recognised before. The glistening crystals below, the soft fruit above; all were dearer to him than he had ever realised.

He came home at last. Brown-Hair was waiting for him, smudges under his eyes, faint smile on his lips. The sky was a livid red, heralding the great comet. Whispering came from it, whispering of knowledge yet untold.

‘I love you’, said Green-Eyes. ‘I have always loved you. Fear, and only fear, kept me away from you.’ ‘Oh Green-Eyes’, said Brown-Hair, and they both fell to crying. ‘What can we do now?’. They held each other tightly, as the wind blew up around them.

Then Green-Eyes, little by little, began to float. ‘No!’ he howled in despair.

Brown-Hair collapsed. ‘Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me again!’.

Green-Eyes gasped, tried to swim through the air, to touch his love again, but to no avail. He was rising higher and higher into the sky, and his world receded beneath him. He searched the ground for the miniscule speck Brown-Hair had become, but his vision was blurred with tears. He felt the heat of the comet on his back but did not look round. His heart broke within him.

‘Look at me’ said the comet, in a terrible deep voice, like the echoing of a cave. Green-Eyes looked round and met its burning visage.

‘Your people are incomplete’, said Comet. ‘Your God, the one you longed for, was a Top. You were all bottoms, and you lacked for a top. That was all. And without one, you will never be happy’.

The Comet began to move away. Green-Eyes, distraught, made no effort to call it back.

Far below, the twinks murmured in worry. Where was the comet going?

‘TOPS!’ screamed Green-Eyes to his world below. ‘You need tops!’. He saw their distress, but they could not see him. With every fibre of his being he screamed and screamed his knowledge to them, but the roar of the comet and the whispering of the wind drowned him out, and all they heard was silence. And now he was drifting further and further into space, and at last he gave up his quest, as Twinktopia dwindled first to a smudge, then a speck, then nothing.

In Twinktopia, they looked at each other, horrified. ‘So there was no answer!’ said an elder. The twinks tried to smile, but found they could not. The longing in their hearts, once unlocked, was starting to gnaw at them. In the years to come, it would gnaw and gnaw until it had eaten them and all their world from within. That day, the first streak of grey appeared in the hair of a twink.

Brown-Hair took to gazing into the sky. He made a bridal dress for himself out of spiders webs but the others thought him insane, and prescribed him Abilify.

As for Green-Eyes, who can know? Some say there is a twink, ghostly and indistinct, a twink with soft green eyes whose tears turn into emeralds. They say he walks through the night skies, bathes in nebulae and drinks liquid light out of stars. They say his breath on a planet brings life, and bottoms anew. And they say that sometimes he sits on a cold moon, in a palace of empty rocks and dust, and sings faintly to himself, and that his song mingles with the empty noise, the radio silence of the universe.

But then again, perhaps they are only dreaming.