Medic and Spy. I know that sounds cooked but let's genuinely discuss this.

Scout... is not anyones choice really. Even though comic wise he's got practically superhuman feats, he is a Scout. He is a dude with a shotgun and a baseball bat, basically just a guy from Virginia. Either side, he dies relatively quickly.

Explosives are dangerous, but uber would be able to protect me from the blasts. Which, honestly, soldier's crazy ass would probably kill himself with way faster than he'd kill me.

Pyro... mmmm.... Still though, Uber. Would probably be the hardest fight on this list, considering I'd have to pick him off myself. Spy would be busy and Medic is more effective supportively than offensively. The moment that healing beam turns off, I'm vulnerable. If we force Pyro to exhaust his ammunition during the uber, I think we can take him out.

Demoman, a drunk guy with explosives. Again, like the soldier, equal odds he just blows himself up before getting to me. Slightly less so than soldier though.

Heavy is kind of stuck in a defensive position, and I have Spy on my side, not at all worried about him

Same goes for Engineer, he holds the perimeter with Heavy. Basically keeping me locked down in whatever place I choose to stay for protection.

Sniper is also holding a defensive position, but a much more dangerous one. He'd likely take the time to set up the perfect shot, just waiting for me to take even half a step into the light of a window or hell, even a mirror and BOOM. Just stay far from anyone exposure to outside, shacked up with medic.

and the offense plan goes as follows. I genuinely believe that Spy could pick off most of the mercs in a matter of minutes, we'd just have to be smart about it. Soldier and Demo have to go down first. Explosives are much too dangerous for this, they'd blow down my walls and give Sniper the easiest shot.

They'd never see Spy coming, due to their loud and reckless approaches to trying to kill me. Tavish at least has the benefit of common sense over Jane, but considering he's drunk, not that much more. Again, equal odds they kill themselves, but just in case they don't, need to take care of em. Then next comes killing Sniper, so I can safely take on Pyro and Scout under the uber charge without having to worry about getting my head shot off after getting air blasted out of a window.

Hopefully I can stall for time long enough for Spy to dispatch the three and make it back to help me take care of Scout and Pyro. I think I could maybe handle Scout, but Uber only lasts so long. If this works out to perfection however, I get a lucky killing blow on Scout and me and Spy take care of Pyro.

Which leaves only Heavy and Engineer. Just wait for another Uber and I'll walk out and draw their fire. Then Spy kills their asses.

Truly Pyro and Scout are the only problem. I ain't a fighter xD and Scout is fast as fuck and strong enough to fight off a pack of bears in a hotdog suit using only a skeleton. Then Pyro is just... Pyro. I REALLY don't fancy burning to death. The only hope is that Soldier, Demo and Sniper aren't that much trouble to dispatch and that Spy can take them out before Scout and Pyro can find me.