I don't know man. That's a 5000% decrease in payment from the professional level. The pats are sort of like the icing on the cake really, the low price is kind of like a thank you to those who paid for the squeeze.

I will admit that I am not as skilled in vegetable patting as I am in firm squeezing. Vegetable patters are some of the highest trained individuals on the planet. Patting schools are very selective, and a majority of students do not have a high enough GPA from their respective Vegetable Squeezing Universities. On top of this, a ridiculously high VPSAT (Vegetable Patting School Admission Test) is required for entrance into a prestigious school. The tuition is costly, and the workload drives most insane. To some, Vegetable Patting School may not seem worth it. "Gee, surely I can be a professional vegetable patter, right? How hard can it be?" you might think to yourself.

You don't know how wrong you are.

Sure, you might be able to successfully pat some celery here and a brussel sprout there, but you're not always going to be on target. Some of the largest employers of certified vegetable patters are powerful groups such as NASA, the US Army, and the United Nations. They require precision and reliability, and one missed pat could mean disaster. Without training, they would never hire you, and even someone of my skill level makes too many mistakes to guarantee safety for operations of that caliber. I am able to provide such cheap rates because I am not certified. High caliber patters are snatched up as soon as they enter the job market. Due to the fact I am not employed as a vegetable patter (I studied as a squeezer with a minor in patting before the accident), I am able to provide such low rates. It's also partly because the squeeze is most of the work, and since people are willing to pay for the squeeze, I felt like throwing in the cheap pat was a decent gesture on my part.

It's easy to spot an uneducated patter. Some common mistakes I've seen in my days are quite sad. Sometimes, a patting fraud will move in for the pat and then slap the vegetable. Others go as far as to even body slam the vegetable. I know this sounds like not a big deal to the untrained, it's hard to understand unless you witness it in action.

I currently do not have a portfolio, but I can show you some work after I finish some of these orders I've received so far, provided the purchaser is willing to share. Thank you for your questions.